Looks

[Pe****]

So, reading a thread earlier about peoples ***s, I saw a comment that said they have a *** that they’d be judged on how they look. That’s so sad to me, although I totally understand it!
I have had Bell’s palsy now for 9 years.
For those that don’t know, it’s when there’s trauma to the facial nerve.
The left side of my face was totally paralysed for 5 months.
Once the nerve started to repair, it grew back into the wrong muscles causing something called synkinesis. That basically means that when I smile my eye on the affected side would close or when I closed my eyes the corner of my mouth would pull up.
I’ve been under the London hospital now for 6 years and have Botox to relieve the tight muscles.
I’m still now learning to live with it 9 years later and I’ve accepted that I’ll never get my smile back.
I’ve had people asking me if I’ve had a stroke etc.
It affects me everyday but it’s never changed the person I am and I’ve met some lovely people that see past it.
It always worries me when I meet someone new that they won’t like me or how I look but I’m me and can’t change it.
If you’re scared about how you look no matter what it is, rest assured that there are people out there that will just accept you as you are.

[An****]

This very important to me as a person who is still adjusting to my kinks and to the society that surounds mw

[ma****]

Hi lovely, I know exactly how you feel. I experienced Bell’s palsy years ago and it’s definitely been a journey finding inner love and acceptance. So glad you shared your experience too💜💜

[Pe****]

20 minutes ago, maddie09120 said:

Hi lovely, I know exactly how you feel. I experienced Bell’s palsy years ago and it’s definitely been a journey finding inner love and acceptance. So glad you shared your experience too💜💜

Thanks beaut! Glad you could relate!
You too ❤️❤️

[Deleted Member]

I have had ***s about my physical appearance. It has taken a longtime to accept that i don't look like Thor and never will. In fact it has been a good space in here for that. There is always someone who finds my differences attractive. I am sure that will be the case for most people. The people who don't find you attractive aren't the people for you in the first place. Your right accept who you are and let your inner workings be the person you are, not the shell incasing it. Excellent post and good luck and positive vibes on your journey.

[Ku****]

Sorry to hear about your illness. And hope you’ll continue to get better with every passing day. I have Crohn’s Disease and had a stroke both of which affected me. I’ve been a Dom and Daddy since I was 18 years old now it’s hard to find a sub that understands the hesitation in communication, the physical effects to my body and the *** I’m still in, and the slight paralysis on my right side.

[Pe****]

10 minutes ago, SilverSorcerer said:

I have had ***s about my physical appearance. It has taken a longtime to accept that i don't look like Thor and never will. In fact it has been a good space in here for that. There is always someone who finds my differences attractive. I am sure that will be the case for most people. The people who don't find you attractive aren't the people for you in the first place. Your right accept who you are and let your inner workings be the person you are, not the shell incasing it. Excellent post and good luck and positive vibes on your journey.

Thank you for your kind words and the same to you

[YorkshireBiker]

I had meningitis as an infant which has left me with scars all over my body, including 4 sizeable ones on my face, my nickname at school was Moon due to my face looking like it had craters on it - kids!

It took me a long time to just accept they are just there, and although I get asked about them, nobody is actually bothered by them. It’s only in recent years that I’ve had the nerve to wear shorts as my legs took the brunt of the sepsis, and found the same, no one really cares as much I did. 

[Pe****]

15 minutes ago, SilverSorcerer said:

I have had ***s about my physical appearance. It has taken a longtime to accept that i don't look like Thor and never will. In fact it has been a good space in here for that. There is always someone who finds my differences attractive. I am sure that will be the case for most people. The people who don't find you attractive aren't the people for you in the first place. Your right accept who you are and let your inner workings be the person you are, not the shell incasing it. Excellent post and good luck and positive vibes on your journey.

I mean, what is physical appearance?
For me, it’s the connection.
I’ve just spilt with my sub that was so different from me. He has the most posh accent, which I love, he’s short(I didn’t care) we just vibed so much. And he accepted me for me.
It’s most definitely out there

[do****]

Thanks for sharing your story. Much respect. Wishing you all the best 💜

[So****]

Thank you for sharing this! I struggle with these ***s as well. I’m plus size (about 225 pounds), and I’m also a stage 3 breast cancer survivor. I had a double mastectomy and reconstruction several years ago, so my boobs are not “the norm” to say the least. Tbh, no one has ever had anything negative to say about it, and if they did, it would just mean they are people I don’t care to associate with anyway. But it definitely can be an awkward subject to breach with people. Lol

[ge****]

Everyone has hang ups about their bodies whether that be due to accidents, illness or otherwise - and there are certainly things about myself I worry about, though mercifully have had a relatively medical free life.
.
Facing those ***s can be a huge challenge, and comes down to self-acceptance as much as anything and that takes a lot to achieve, especially when others don't understand or worse still reject you purely for those features or make fun of them.
.
It takes guts to brave it out and accept yourself for yourself and I have every admiration for those that do.
.
As others have said those that can't see past whatever hang up you may have are not worth knowing in the first place.

[BigPolly]

Love this post & thank you for sharing.
I think people have to remember that not everyone is going to find everyone else attractive regardless of any differences, that’s human nature. I know people will look at me & think ‘I’m too fat’ & that’s ok. I don’t look everybody & think they’re gorgeous
For me personally, I can look in the mirror at my curves and find them incredibly sexy, so if someone else finds it repulsive, that’s ok.
For every person out there who find me unattractive, there will be someone else who sees the same sexiness I do.
I also went through a low stage where I was worried my nutty autism would put people off but I’m Me….wonderful, amazing, sexy weird me! I can’t change that, and there’s no reason why I should have to!
People will either accept us for who we are or they won’t but as long as you can accept yourself & realise how beautiful & sexy you are then opinions won’t matter as your gorgeous confidence will draw those that matter, in 😊

[Ki****]

I admire your courage. One thing I know for sure in this community people are more accepting. Your know your worth and I'm sure there are people who would love to connect with you.

[pa****]

As much as people say, the way someone looks seems to be very important to 90% of people as if your not as good looking as someone else you will not attract what your looking for, and being online looks are pretty much the only thing people react too.

[ge****]

41 minutes ago, pauld999 said:

As much as people say, the way someone looks seems to be very important to 90% of people as if your not as good looking as someone else you will not attract what your looking for, and being online looks are pretty much the only thing people react too.

Of course physical attraction is important - but it's not the only thing that matters, but this thread isn't about that it's about being able to see beyond those self-perceived imperfections we all have and see the true beauty of people regardless.
.
Take for instance the OP, who I know well, she's voiced her own self-perceived imperfection yet I don't see that, in fact if she'd not pointed it out I wouldn't have thought any different of her than I do even though she has told me privately about it.
.
So this thread is more about being able to see the person for who they are, not necessarily how you compare (and fare) against others.

[pa****]

I was just highlighting that being online people cannot see beyond the picture that is put up. I struggle to attract people, because im not attractive and i am overweight.
But if they chatted to me they might find im nicer than i look

[do****]

1 hour ago, pauld999 said:

As much as people say, the way someone looks seems to be very important to 90% of people as if your not as good looking as someone else you will not attract what your looking for, and being online looks are pretty much the only thing people react too.

I think, and this is just my opinion, if people stop reinforcing the narrative that looks are important people will see people for who they are. I meet countless people where looks are not important to them. Finances and stability ranks way higher for them. It's the social media and marketing that put these insane thoughts in people heads to continue the dumb narrative that looks are important. I can care less what you look like. I care whether or not you can raise my daughter to be a great woman. That's way more important to me. Just my opinion. I forgot I was told I'm an anomaly 🤷🏾‍♂️

[ey****]

1 hour ago, pauld999 said:

I struggle to attract people, because im not attractive and i am overweight.

do people expressly tell you this; or, is this a conclusion you draw yourself ?

I'm middle aged, balding, overweight and generally do OK.  

[ge****]

1 hour ago, pauld999 said:

I was just highlighting that being online people cannot see beyond the picture that is put up. I struggle to attract people, because im not attractive and i am overweight.
But if they chatted to me they might find im nicer than i look

Thing is though, you can see beyond that picture - you have profile text, forum interaction and more to go on, and to give to others to let them "see" you as more than just a picture.
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Not all people are so shallow as to base attraction on looks alone.
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As the OP says there are people out there who will just accept you as you are.

[Pe****]

59 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

do people expressly tell you this; or, is this a conclusion you draw yourself ?

I'm middle aged, balding, overweight and generally do OK.  

Hahah love your answers!!

[Pe****]

57 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

Thing is though, you can see beyond that picture - you have profile text, forum interaction and more to go on, and to give to others to let them "see" you as more than just a picture.
.
Not all people are so shallow as to base attraction on looks alone.
.
As the OP says there are people out there who will just accept you as you are.

Definitely G. Just how you accept my classiness! 😂😂😘😘

[ey****]

1 hour ago, PervyPenelope said:

Hahah love your answers!!

obviously everyone has different objectives - and for me I can't offer a long term mono relationship, so a lot is casual play.  Which wouldn't work for some guys (and wouldn't work for lots of women) but it works for me so long as everyone is on the same wave length

I was just totting up through joke earlier that this year I have done some form of play with 10 people

now, 1 is my wife, two are regular play partners, and there's another couple I've played with before.   The others all reached out to me, through recommendations, mutual friends, etc.  And honestly, this is why it is really good to make friends in the fetish scene cos if someone asks "hey, so I'm looking for someone who can do x, y and z" then folk will make recommendations.  

Mind, the first thing the last lady did when we met was stick a hood over my head so maybe she didn't want to look at my face too much, who knows 

[BigPolly]

5 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

do people expressly tell you this; or, is this a conclusion you draw yourself ?

I'm middle aged, balding, overweight and generally do OK.  

I totally agree with this (not about you 😂) as I’m also middle aged, overweight & done amazingly both at getting what I’ve been seeking for in the past & also with who I now have. 

[BigPolly]

6 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Of course physical attraction is important - but it's not the only thing that matters, but this thread isn't about that it's about being able to see beyond those self-perceived imperfections we all have and see the true beauty of people regardless.
.
Take for instance the OP, who I know well, she's voiced her own self-perceived imperfection yet I don't see that, in fact if she'd not pointed it out I wouldn't have thought any different of her than I do even though she has told me privately about it.
.
So this thread is more about being able to see the person for who they are, not necessarily how you compare (and fare) against others.

Totally this! As you don’t have a profile pic up & you are bloomin fabulous 😊