“No thanks”

[da****]

A simple I'm not interested is enough ignoring is too bad.
But understandable why female would leave some of us man unread or ignore is because all this dry desert d**k for brain guy's being too strong in the introduction

[Deleted Member]

Never feel bad about using this tool. Some people can’t take a hint to leave you alone. I know people will say it’s not pleasant, but f that noise. It’s more important to protect yourself and feel safe. It’s also ok if you are just not interested in talking to a person at all. This is your journey and your time is valuable.

[Gundu]

Honestly, your preference is yours. I personally don’t think you should use it as on the receiving end, it just says the other party is not interested. But it doesn’t tell you why. So, I would atleast say, “this is not what I’m looking for. I’m looking for xyz. If we can’t have that, then I’m not interested in moving forward. I’m sorry”. Something to that affect. I would also add “we can be friends?”. But that’s just me. Cause I know some might look for a relationship. But a friend could give the other person some like minded company.

[in****]

4 hours ago, Barney_CM said:

I honestly don't mind 'no thanks' messages as long as they just use it to decline a message request. If you've already been talking for a while then I would say you owe the other person at least an honest sentence as to why you don't want to talk to them anymore.

Same. I’ve gotten a few creeper messages that were the very first messages from people and I’m just like outright “no thanks”

[xF****]

Haha nah, it says something about a person if they can't handle rejection. I use it all the time! At least A - they get a reply B - it beats the 'oh so you're not interested? I'll leave you alone' message about 6 times in a row 😴

[in****]

3 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Thing is though - when another user has very little to go on, like no real profile text to speak of, no pics, and perhaps a very limited message, why would they want to engage?
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And ignoring is often the safest option because they don't know if the sender will be the polite type that accepts rejection, or the type that pesters for a reason at best, or turns abusive at worst.

Especially when it tells you the general vicinity and how far they are from you.

[Ex****]

I kind of appreciate it. I’d rather not waste my time if there is no interest

[Bo****]

I typically will respond with a personal note “thank you for the message but I don’t think we are a match” or something similar. You’d be surprised how many will lash out and scold me for even responding “why did you bother responding then?” Seriously I feel like you can’t win on here. I try to be polite and get yelled at. Do they prefer no response at all? I try to be kind to everyone but at what cost. People that don’t take it well let me know that I made the right decision, but I hate being rude and also hate being disrespected because of my choice.

[Deleted Member]

It means no. I don’t see an issue with it. It’s more respectful than ghosting.

[Je****]

The “No Thanks” button is extremely important and should ALWAYS be used rather than ignore. As someone who often receives both I appreciate the “No Thanks” very much and I do not take it personally. My particular bdsm lifestyle requires a partner who enjoys degrading and humiliating me as a sub-human doormat. When I get an ignore I often feel I have not provided enough information or desire to that potential partner and I look to reach back out. No Thanks means just that and I move on

[Gundu]

56 minutes ago, JerseyDmat said:

The “No Thanks” button is extremely important and should ALWAYS be used rather than ignore. As someone who often receives both I appreciate the “No Thanks” very much and I do not take it personally. My particular bdsm lifestyle requires a partner who enjoys degrading and humiliating me as a sub-human doormat. When I get an ignore I often feel I have not provided enough information or desire to that potential partner and I look to reach back out. No Thanks means just that and I move on

While I agree with you, I also feel like without them telling me why, it kinda feels like I’m not worth it after a while. Like they didn’t give me a chance.

[Cu****]

Being honest and upfront is a good thing. Much rather give and receive that instead of a ghost. Just because it’s not a positive doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing

[Deleted Member]

It’s definitely a clear sign that you’re not interested in getting to know a person…
My own POV when being hit by it is “Ah well - that’s disappointing” but I don’t get triggered by it at all! It’s simply their loss as I have lots to offer!

[Th****]

I have used it and had it used on me.

It was first used on me, while I don't appreciate the generic "no thanks", I do appreciate the reply, it let's me know that they saw my message, and had enough decency to reply. I would much prefer they actually write their own message, as to me the computer generated message is just plain yellow, though not as yellow as not saying anything

[an****]

I been blocking people

[Je****]

4 hours ago, Gundu said:

While I agree with you, I also feel like without them telling me why, it kinda feels like I’m not worth it after a while. Like they didn’t give me a chance.

I see it a bit differently and that is also part of my particular bdsm lifestyle. I view women as goddesses and part of that is that they literally owe me nothing including a chance and I have no worth to them so I expect to be denied without explanation. And if they in fact show interest it is 💯 for their pleasure and amusement.

[ge****]

For those of you suggesting non-response to an initial message is "ghosting" it's not - for it to be ghosting there needs to have been communication happening in the first place.
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Regardless there are many valid reasons someone may not respond to a message, especially an initial one, it's effectively an accepted form of "no thanks not interested", as eyem suggests above responding to a message then opens the door for that person to respond, whereas if you don't respond they are not able to message again for 3 months. Then you have the whole thing of protecting yourself from potential abusive messages in response to a rejection.
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If someone doesn't respond to your message, you can take it as read 99% of the time it's because they're not interested, so the best thing you can do is accept it and move on. Bemoaning the lack of response won't change a thing, and will only serve to (a) prove the person right not to respond and (b) cause you more frustration.

[Ha****]

Don’t feel bad. It is courteous enough, acknowledging a message and politely saying thank you but no thank you.

I don’t mind them at all although obviously that’s a personal opinion.
I sympathise massively with site members who are worried about getting into an awkward conversation with someone if they react badly and won’t take no for an answer.

[ey****]

8 hours ago, Gundu said:

While I agree with you, I also feel like without them telling me why, it kinda feels like I’m not worth it after a while. Like they didn’t give me a chance.

so in kind of due respect, you have no pictures nor any real info on your profile.   There has to be something to make someone want to give you a chance

[Gundu]

2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

so in kind of due respect, you have no pictures nor any real info on your profile.   There has to be something to make someone want to give you a chance

Which is a fair point. So, ask me that info when I dm. Or dm me. I would love to do that once I trust. But ignoring me outright feels hurtful after a while. And if you don’t give me a chance, well, you might be missing out.

[ge****]

4 hours ago, Gundu said:

Which is a fair point. So, ask me that info when I dm. Or dm me. I would love to do that once I trust. But ignoring me outright feels hurtful after a while. And if you don’t give me a chance, well, you might be missing out.

But why would someone give you a chance when they have very little to go on?
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To turn that around, given two profiles, one which has no pictures, no real text to speak of, and which claims to have no limits and one that has several different pictures, a few sentences about them and what they are looking for, and other details which show they have given some thought to all that - which would you choose to message?
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If you say the first, you're either lying or desperate enough to blindly message anyone without knowing the first thing about them (they could be a scammer, a bloke pretending to be a woman or anything really).
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You have to make your own chances on sites like this, not expect others to give them to you.

[ey****]

4 hours ago, Gundu said:

Which is a fair point. So, ask me that info when I dm. Or dm me. I would love to do that once I trust. But ignoring me outright feels hurtful after a while. And if you don’t give me a chance, well, you might be missing out.

so because you've put the labour on someone else to do this - this is the problem.   And a lot will be "if he can't be bothered to fill out a profile, I can't be bothered to apply" - like imagine applying for a job and not attaching any form of CV and just writing a letter that goes "I'd love a job at your place, anything you want to know just ask" 

And yeah, you might be the best employee ever but you haven't began to show that.  If anything, the opposite, as you've shown to be lazy and palm work onto others.

[Je****]

23 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Like, while it might suck to receive a 'no thanks' message - that's also life.    You've got someone in your inbox, you're not interested for whatever reason these are your choices

1) don't reply.   

they then can't message again for I think it's 3 months

I know it used to be this way. A person would send a message, and within 10 min of it being sent the 90 days message kicks in. However since whatever has been updated, i find that if I have perhaps read and ignored a message from someone, they message me again hours later or the next day. It's not how it used to be (I use the site), and I'm not quite sure why. 

[Chloebear]

7 hours ago, Gundu said:

Which is a fair point. So, ask me that info when I dm. Or dm me. I would love to do that once I trust. But ignoring me outright feels hurtful after a while. And if you don’t give me a chance, well, you might be missing out.

At the same time, if you’re repeatedly ignored look at the tips you’ve just been given - put a profile pic up of some sort, fill your profile in with information and look into things you’re interested in, because that’s what makes it more likely you’ll get a reply. If I get 50 messages, I’ll go for the ones that have made most effort.

[do****]

2 hours ago, Finally_Jen said:

I know it used to be this way. A person would send a message, and within 10 min of it being sent the 90 days message kicks in. However since whatever has been updated, i find that if I have perhaps read and ignored a message from someone, they message me again hours later or the next day. It's not how it used to be (I use the site), and I'm not quite sure why. 

Time. I think I'm learning something new here. There is a message limit? Some women are unable to message back because they ran out of messages? Is that what I'm hearing? If this is the case, we need a message donation bucket like you are able to donate vacation leave at work 🤷🏾‍♂️