Balancing Life and Libido

[Do****]

Hello! I have a question to you all regarding being able to balance your sex drive and kinky minds in your daily lives. I often end up disappearing from apps like this after only a few days, despite loving my time on it. But after a while it just becomes all I think about and starts to consume my life. To a certain degree that can be even more exciting, but unfortunately reality can’t be kept at bay forever, so eventually it smacks me in the face when I’ve ignored it for too long.

Do you guys have similar problems, and have you learned how to manage it? 😳🤭

[Deleted Member]

I completely understand what you mean, especially if Im having a hard time. The pull of wanting to escape to my sub role and pleasure is massive.
Unfortunately, I cant over any advice on managing it as like you I just disappear for a time xx

[p1****]

Have you tried to Set a timer and log off after that? It kinda helps me though I tend to snooze the timer and stay stuck 😂 but if you have a bit more discipline and strength you may be able to pull it off. 🤔 Do you see yourself coming onto apps like this for comfort and communication with a like minded community?

[Ti****]

I've been on this app for about a month now and all I get is matches likes and views but what I want most is a friend or a little I can hang out with and do kinky stuff with

[KinkyNKC]

It varies day to day. Always searching for the one (s) who can make it a joy no matter what

[Deleted Member]

I feel your ***. My sex drive is debilitating. And until I find the right person to entrust it to there's a public service warning in my area. Ok I'm being a smidge hyperbolic. But seriously my single life is either exhausting amounts of self control/redirection or slipping up and doing something stupid. And since there's a whole lotta stupid on this app I'm about to take a break as well.

[Deleted Member]

I turn off notifications and check it when I'm ready. Not when it beeps at me

[os****]

I can definitely relate. Whether it’s apps or a person, it’s easy to distract me for hours with edging challenges and teasing.

[DarkArts1066]

This is actually a subject very close to my heart. I have a very high sex drive, and have done since my ***s… so at the grand old age of 58 now, I’ve had a lot of years worth of experience in dealing with this.

I ‘discovered’ kink over 30 years ago, and have had periods of time when sex - and kink have been all consuming. I find writing to be a good outlet… once my mind starts working, creating fantasies, imagery and desire, I write about what is in my head. I’ve been lucky to be published under several pseudonyms over the years, so I guess I’ve turned my obsession with sex into a part time career. Sometimes, I will seek out partners with whom to act out my fantasies - I tend to focus on a certain kink for a short period of time.. that might be roleplay spanking, breast groping and breast sex, psychosexual roleplay, public handjobs, even CNC on occasion…. I create a scenario or a story, find someone to enact it with, or spend time masturbating over it… then the desire subsides a little - once I’ve worked through it, and I’m back to a manageable level of sexual desire again.
Now - this can take days, or on occasion, even weeks. When I had a ‘regular’ job (I have now semi-retired) it was difficult balancing my sexual desires and needs. Fortunately, I usually had a partner - or partners who were understanding, and had a similar sex drive to myself..

My suggestion for dealing with your situation, would be to meet it head on.
Switch off the visual stimuli for a while- whether that be this site, porn sites, or chat rooms. And diorise your own thoughts and fantasies into a written scenario.

If your sex drive is as all encompassing as you suggest, you won’t be able to override and forget it - it’s an itch that needs to be scratched. There are things that you can do to lessen the effects though. Try writing your thoughts out as a scenario. If you have a partner who understands and accepts your libido, will they indulge your desires ? If so, write for both of you to explore - or maybe they will accept that you need to indulge them elsewhere ?
Try to refocus that immediate need for relief, into something tangible, like a roleplay scenario you can act out - but need to plan in a little detail. Believe it or not, for me, that process helps to lower my level of desire for a while …… knowing that I will get the release I desire a little later.
Set time aside for writing or planning throughout the day. It might be ten minutes here or there…. but don’t ignore it. The ensuing brain fog - if you do ignore it, will impact on your day.

Ask yourself, does your sex drive peak at a particular time ?… when you get up / go to bed ? …. When you are a in a particular place or in particular company ? If it does, deal with it at that time, don’t put it off. Some people take smoke breaks, if your environment allows, take a masturbation break if you need to. DON’T allow it to become a ‘session’ though. It should be a means to an end.

As wannabeagoodgirl states above, the level of redirection or self control required to deflect this situation can be exhausting - and it can reduce your effectiveness, at work or in any other environment.

I’m happy to discuss this further with anyone who is interested…. There is more to tell, but my process does help me deal with this -sometimes debilitating and time invasive situation.

**Not everyone will find my comments or methods useful - I know this!. My methods work for me. I have spoken with others who use the same model. As always, my comments and opinions are my own, and should not constitute any kind of professional advice.**

[mr****]

Like others, I turn off the notifications so as not to distract me, but it’s part of my nightly wind down ritual to get on each night after work to see what’s going on.

[d3****]

You need to find a way to incorporate both into your daily life  you can’t have one without the other 

[d3****]

Set rules for yourself if you catch yourself thinking about something or looking at an app or whatever while you’re out and doing regular life things set punishments to punish yourself that will make your day. More interesting once you get home.

[Th****]

I too often find myself back here. I decided to change my conclusion over to creating a safe space for other kinksters to enjoy all over in different areas. Doing that has tamed my bratty ways and my Dominant Diva within. I have been able to release without having to compromise.

[Deleted Member]

Definitely hard sometimes

[Tr****]

I think about it all day pretty much, can’t stop

[fo****]

It’s hard not to keep coming back

[pl****]

I asked that same question this morning, just recently joined here looking for that special sub and it is consuming but life is balance.. Ying/Yang, the tug and pull of our needs and desires. Having a partner in this lifestyle is definitely what keeps me focused on daily life and keeps me centered.. Hope this helps..