Dating someone into BDSM when you are new to it

[Do****]

What I am curious about is how open should the experienced person be to the beginner. Do you find it ok to let them know about experiences you had in your past that you do not intent to do with them?

[ge****]

Depends entirely on the person you are dating - if they're completely vanilla and not interested in BDSM then I'd be limited in what I told them and perhaps just mention, if asked, that you had some "kinky" experiences in the past and gauge from their reaction how open to be.
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If they're into kink/BDSM but just don't have a great deal of experience then I'd be more open but again would gauge it on their level of interest.

[Deleted Member]

I'm new to BDSM and one thing I've learned is whomever you choose to talk to or consider as potential to meet your needs, wants & desires is to be completely open and both of you need to have clear communication/boundaries set in place. Anyone I've started talking with either understands this or it's a hard no for me.

[Deleted Member]

My first Dom was very open about safety and really let me kind of lead the conversations we talked more about my wants in my needs and less about his. When I stated some thing I wanted to try, he would tell me his experience with that specific thing, but he was very careful not to overwhelm me, or to persuade me in any directions. Some new people will want to do things that they may not actually enjoy Soli to please the person there with, and it can ruin the experience for them and hurt them in the process.

[Deleted Member]

He may have asked me a question here, or there to start conversations, but he never directed the flow of that conversation

[ca****]

I'm the new person seeing an experienced person
I love how open she is, were open about everything else so why not previous BDSM experiences.
She has a long term bf that's her Dom and she is my domme so a lot of what she has experienced isn't anything we'll be doing ourselves but I still enjoy hearing about it
It definitely depends on the person though, of sharing makes them uncomfortable then don't do it

[Do****]

Really happy to hear peoples responses so far :) thank you. I am also wondering why would someone share with you what they like the most (in this case that she was a degradee) but put a hard no on doing that with you in particular?

[ge****]

Have just realised I totally misread the OP and the suggestion is around how open about their past experiences someone experienced in BDSM should be with someone new to BDSM.
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My original answer still stands to an extent in that may depend and be guided by the new person - that said I think it's important to demonstrate a level of experience and/or knowledge by way of reassurance.
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However not everyone wants to hear the sordid details of what happened with previous partners so I'd suggest a more generalised indication than the "gory details" - for instance saying you have spanked in the past is probably sufficient rather than a step by step guide about the who and the how.
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A good way to open up conversations is for both of you to complete an online BDSM checklist (Google those two words and you'll find one) that lists various elements/activities of BDSM and has you rate them in terms of interest - once you have done so get together and compare notes to find common ground and you can open up about levels of experience (on both sides) from there.

[bi****]

The man I see he picked up on my BDSM he has shown me so much and he knows when too stop with out me saying anything.. Not all the time as he gets caught up in the moment but we work it out and yes communication and trust is 100%

[Da****]

Being a daddy dom and the other parts of kink I have are a part of me. I have tried dating vanilla, it doesn’t work out. So I lead with the kink. It’s not a role I play but who I am, if ultimately they can’t accept that then, they can’t accept me. And why waste anyone’s time?
I’m not saying show up with a jacket full of impact toys…but when conversations allow be honest and up front!
It’s easier than trying to turn someone vanilla kinky!

[Mi****]

Honestly, experience is important.. and most beginners are curious about what their potential partner may have done in the past. However, like Gemini_man statement. "Demonstrate a level if experience and/or knowledge by way of reassurance."
Details may make an individual more nervous or unsurity..
Ensuring your partner's comfort levels and allowing them to be inquisitive IN THEIR OWN TIME will strengthen the bond and the trust... creating more effective communication. So yes, it is ok to share- but I would definitely start slow with beginners. I'm a beginner.. and I very much appreciate the respect that a certain someone has for me.
Have your beginner do some basic reading about limits, the most popular kinks, and EFFECTIVE communication. It will help so so much.

[Je****]

So I open new goddesses into the world of goddess worship in the BDSM lifestyle all the time. Usually I know within one or two conversations if they are interested. What I have found to be my biggest challenge is getting new goddesses to understand limits. I tend to tap into a lot of sexual frustration and neglect with goddesses I serve and although they appreciate the attention I provide there have been some challenges with female aggression and sensor overload. I have made it a rule that I don’t want serve goddesses who are impaired with alcohol or ***. That has helped a little but it still happens a lot .
I have to remind goddesses that if they physically damage me or cut off my oxygen it will impact my performance to provide them with the pleasure the physical and mental stimulation they crave.

[QXX666]

Bragging is never a good attitude for a Dom. If that’s what you are.
Just honestly answering their questions is basic. Every dynamics are personal so giving some details about what your done to the previous subs is not really appropriate. Also you might said something that would trigger her *** or else. Treat a new conversation like if it’s theirs and no one else experience, they like to know you are experienced and skilled but prob don’t want to know what you have done in the past. That’s what an experienced gentleman type of Dom would do. It’s a balance between telling enough for the imagination and fantasy to take place.

[sh****]

You definitely have to be open, and honest so they know the experience is there. However like QX said don’t brag or be boastful it’s more about helping them explore and being a guide where you need to, and then knowing they can trust you

[sa****]

Just go for it and absorb it all in the *** the mental and emotional *** and physical *** *** becomes the pleasure

[gl****]

Everything in moderation i believe…

[Nocturne]

I'd recommend to try things at a slow pace, share what you like and dislike, share why, pay attention to how they react, make sure you feel safe, if you feel pressured, tell them, if they react adversely, take some distance and try to talk about it in a way where you feel comfortable. The more you share about what your thoughts and opinions are so far, the easier it will be to broaden your comfort zone in a way that feels comfortable for you. And if you decide against all of it, that's okay too. Take your time, feel things out.