Deleted Member Posted July 11, 2023 Posted July 11, 2023 I always introduce myself as James. But it's not my real name. I don't think giving out my real first name is in any way dangerous, I just don't like my real name and prefer James š
Ba**** Posted July 12, 2023 Posted July 12, 2023 June 15, NowIAmTheMaster said: My first name is incredibly rare, only about 20 people in the UK have it. No f**king way I'm giving it out to someone I just met on the internet and I'm a big white dude. People are unsafe doing it here compared to in a bar as in a bar you can at least see the person and not a catfish. But also, why should other people have to justify what makes them feel unsafe? So do you favour a pseudonym? Personally, I stick to usernames until thereās a level of trust established, then I have no issue giving out my name. Although, my name is practically common
Deleted Member Posted July 12, 2023 Posted July 12, 2023 My real name is insanely common. There are 5 people in my home town that I know of with my exact first and second name... One of them is known for f***ing his *** and loads of people think that's me when they hear about it! It's not me, I do have a ***, but she's really not my type š
Deleted Member Posted July 12, 2023 Posted July 12, 2023 July 2, TallBastard said: Hi, Bob from Pleasantville Minnesota, population 2600! I searched for Bob in your town and found your Facebook profile (nice jet skis! You must be wealthy!) Using your last name and āworks atā information, which I confirmed to be current by looking you up on LinkedIn, I have one question to ask you, Bob from Pleasantville Minnesota, population 2600ā¦how much are you willing to pay for all your family, friends, boss and coworkers NOT to know youāre on a fetish app looking to get pegged? THIS IS SARCASM, but Iām sure you see my point? This pretty much happened to one of my friends, and he has a seat on the local council too, so as you can imagine he had a bit of a flap. You bring up a really valid point. I was half joking when I said the reason I don't share my real name is because I don't like it. I also want to remain discreet. My fetish is ***, it's not illegal but it does raise a few eyebrows!
angelbrite77 Posted July 14, 2023 Posted July 14, 2023 It's a personal decision based on safety and I do know that a submission women's experience on social media is entirely different to that of a dominant male I don't think there's any cause for contention x
lo**** Posted July 15, 2023 Author Posted July 15, 2023 On 7/13/2023 at 8:13 PM, angelbrite77 said: It's a personal decision based on safety and I do know that a submission women's experience on social media is entirely different to that of a dominant male I don't think there's any cause for contention x There shouldn't be, but when repeatedly having such an issue?Ā There's a problem.
gu**** Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 Saturday at 05:35 AM, locketheart said: There shouldn't be, but when repeatedly having such an issue?Ā There's a problem. Im still not seeing the problem, with just saying, "no i prefer to remain anonymous" im still disconnected from the part where it makes sence to get mad at people for being curious and trying to have something to call you so they dont have to call you "lock" all the time
ge**** Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 54 minutes ago, gurthychub said: Im still not seeing the problem, with just saying, "no i prefer to remain anonymous" im still disconnected from the part where it makes sence to get mad at people for being curious and trying to have something to call you so they dont have to call you "lock" all the time If you read the OP though it's not the asking that irks the OP but people getting bent out of shape when she declines to give her real name
CopperKnob Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 2 hours ago, gurthychub said: Im still not seeing the problem, with just saying, "no i prefer to remain anonymous" im still disconnected from the part where it makes sence to get mad at people for being curious and trying to have something to call you so they dont have to call you "lock" all the time I think, we've chosen our usernames here and by doing so, we've put out a name for others to recognise us by and use when communicating with us. It's not about being angry if someone asks innocently for a name to be shared, it's about those people who lack respect for the boundaries that others put in place by being rude or dismissive of or who keep nagging those who are not happy to share their personal details in the initial few messages. There's nothing wrong with using usernames in interactions with others seeing as ot's what we've chosen for ourselves, I used to get mad when people shortened my real name to something they personally found easier to say. This is the same thing
MasterDarcy1979 Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 What can a person do if they know your first name? As long as you aren't sharing your bank log in details, etc, then it's fine. Is it the way that I break the ice? No. because I never initiate contact. Would I include my first name in the initial message if I did initiate contact? Probably. Yes. I would be more offended by a person if they had nothing better to say than "Hi. I'm (insert first name)". That sort of a message wouldn't receive a reply. PS: My name is Christopher. :p
Deleted Member Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 22 minutes ago, MasterDarcy1979 said: What can a person do if they know your first name? As long as you aren't sharing your bank log in details, etc, then it's fine. Is it the way that I break the ice? No. because I never initiate contact. Would I include my first name in the initial message if I did initiate contact? Probably. Yes. I would be more offended by a person if they had nothing better to say than "Hi. I'm (insert first name)". That sort of a message wouldn't receive a reply. PS: My name is Christopher. :p As previously stated in here, it's not hard to find people with just a name and location. If a name is less common (unique spelling) makes it stupid easy. Pictures commonly shared here could be used for blackmail. Name + location = fb profile = list of family and friends that can be sent your nudes or your sexual interests.
CopperKnob Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 28 minutes ago, MasterDarcy1979 said: What can a person do if they know your first name? As long as you aren't sharing your bank log in details, etc, then it's fine. Is it the way that I break the ice? No. because I never initiate contact. Would I include my first name in the initial message if I did initiate contact? Probably. Yes. I would be more offended by a person if they had nothing better to say than "Hi. I'm (insert first name)". That sort of a message wouldn't receive a reply. PS: My name is Christopher. :p Lots, as mentioned in the numerous comments above
ge**** Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 40 minutes ago, MasterDarcy1979 said: What can a person do if they know your first name? As long as you aren't sharing your bank log in details, etc, then it's fine. Is it the way that I break the ice? No. because I never initiate contact. Would I include my first name in the initial message if I did initiate contact? Probably. Yes. I would be more offended by a person if they had nothing better to say than "Hi. I'm (insert first name)". That sort of a message wouldn't receive a reply. PS: My name is Christopher. :p Yes it may be a limited amount someone can "do" if they know a first name, particularly if that first name is a common one - but over a period of time as further information is revealed that minor piece of the jigsaw may then fall into place with other pieces to reveal more of a picture. . But to turn your question around - why is it important to know someone's real name within the first few messages and what difference does it make if you don't know it? . Personally I only give my real first name to people I've chatted to for some time and feel comfortable revealing it to them - as CK said that's the purpose of usernames, to give someone something else to identify us by. In fact though I chat to CK a fair amount I don't know her real name, nor do I expect to - she's CK to me and always will be
ey**** Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 I think even aside from any security, privacy, etc etc whether real, imagined, or exaggerated. Simple decency. If someone asks for a real name and the other person, for whatever reason does not wish to give it out - there is no reason whatsoever for the person to get ***y about it. and THAT is where the problem is. I had a shoot the other day - 9 people : 5 subs, 3 Dommes, a tog. 4 of the subs had no qualms being called by either their real or sub name 1 of the subs (and the tog) preferred to be called their sub name - no one challenged this one of the Dommes her Domme name is a variation of her real name.Ā But the other two Dommes, they go by Domme names.Ā The reasons or rationale don't matter, that is their preferred name to be called right now.Ā Ā
MisstressStorm Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 Individual choice.Ā Even with my pseudonym- 2 individuals have saw fit to locate my home and threaten to āvisitā me whether I liked it or not. Itās a regular thing to play whack a mole with those friends of humanity who have multiple stalking stalking accounts. . Annnddd no you donāt get my birth name šā
MasterDarcy1979 Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 1 hour ago, brookline552 said: As previously stated in here, it's not hard to find people with just a name and location. If a name is less common (unique spelling) makes it stupid easy. Pictures commonly shared here could be used for blackmail. Name + location = fb profile = list of family and friends that can be sent your nudes or your sexual interests. Pretty much why I have zero social media footprint.
gu**** Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 7 hours ago, gemini_man said: If you read the OP though it's not the asking that irks the OP but people getting bent out of shape when she declines to give her real name No, its not clearly read thatway on the OP lol but i re read we are talking about an ice breaker, heavin forbid you just ignore them instead of writing a public post about a completely valid way to start a conversation
MasterDarcy1979 Posted July 18, 2023 Posted July 18, 2023 2 hours ago, gemini_man said: But to turn your question around - why is it important to know someone's real name within the first few messages and what difference does it make if you don't know it? When did I say that it's important to know someone's name within the first few messages?
GothicRaccoon Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 It's pretty scary how many guys on this thread don't think people stalk the crap out of you after getting your name.Ā Here's an ice breaker for all y'all to use: Hey! How are you doing today?. You know, like a normal conversation.Ā
ey**** Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 8 hours ago, MasterDarcy1979 said: Pretty much why I have zero social media footprint. but other people do.
ey**** Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 7 hours ago, MasterDarcy1979 said: When did I say that it's important to know someone's name within the first few messages? this is what this entire thread is about! people demanding real names in first few messages and then getting angry when it's not given.
MisstressStorm Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 10 hours ago, brookline552 said: As previously stated in here, it's not hard to find people with just a name and location. If a name is less common (unique spelling) makes it stupid easy. Pictures commonly shared here could be used for blackmail. Name + location = fb profile = list of family and friends that can be sent your nudes or your sexual interests. Just this ā¦. ! I had to sort out a blackmail mess from my last sub. āMistressā asked for a nude photo so āprove he was realā then followed up with treats to send images to his friends and family. He had used his real first name and location. The scammers were actually in South Africa šā
MasterDarcy1979 Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 13 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said: this is what this entire thread is about! people demanding real names in first few messages and then getting angry when it's not given. No. The person specifically said "your question", like I personally was saying that I think it's important to reveal your name in the first few messages. I don't find it necessarily to reveal your name straight away. There are a million better ways to break the ice. Ā
ge**** Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 8 hours ago, gurthychub said: No, its not clearly read thatway on the OP lol but i re read we are talking about an ice breaker, heavin forbid you just ignore them instead of writing a public post about a completely valid way to start a conversation Don't think you can get much clearer than the paragraph in the OP that reads: . "GettingĀ bent out of shape or insulted cause we don't want to give you our REAL NAMES, is a you problem, or you showing you could be a VERY unsafeĀ person."
ge**** Posted July 19, 2023 Posted July 19, 2023 8 hours ago, MasterDarcy1979 said: When did I say that it's important to know someone's name within the first few messages? You didn't and wasn't suggesting you did so apologies if it came across that way . Was merely turning the question about what someone can do if they know your real name around in a general sense . Knowing someone's real name or not doesn't make the slightest bit of difference in the context of initial messages, and arguably way beyond that.
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