Can I be gay if I have a boyfriend? lol... weird one incoming....

[as****]

If you don't wanna pursue men lately then don't, the labels only matter for communication with strangers 💯 🤷🏻
Most ppl don't have a static type of attraction thier whole lives when being honest about it.

I am however very curious how ur nb partner feels about "fulfilling the male role" for u. Part of what makes my boy so right for me is that he doesn't prescribe me a "girlfriend" role or call me that even to strangers online for brevity.

[Je****]

12 hours ago, punta-gorda903 said:

I mean you have a boyfriend right so the answer not gay because gay people don't f**k wit the other sex

Are you sure about that? 

[Je****]

6 hours ago, hial7829 said:

You can do whatever makes you happy ,let's chat sometime I have some different things going on

Erm? What do you mean let's chat sometime? This is a forum. lol

[Je****]

5 hours ago, Charms said:

Your partner with the male bits satisfies  you that way. Your brain is telling you no you have that part coverd.  But you need a partner with female parts .

 

Iv meet u an your non binary  human. U both rock. Ps lip stick kisses pls xx

Thank you Charms.  He's a good bean and I love him immensely. 

Yes, the heart longs for a lady. And always lipstick kisses for you <3

[Je****]

12 hours ago, rbxfnx said:

Does your non-binary partner identify as your “boyfriend” or your “theyfriend”?

They have been Non-binary ever since I have known them. Sure. Dysphoria has been cruel, to both of us, but I say boyfriend, due to some personal things, and reasons, that are not for me to divulge but more him on his own when ready. Sorry for any confusion.

[Je****]

12 hours ago, ChiadaBrat said:

I mean when u said a gorgeous fella… was it because u feel some kind of attraction or u think he fits the attractiveness standards? Have u always liked women as much as u like them now? I’ve heard some bisexual women switching to the female side, because they don’t feel the “connection” they’re looking for … I find men less and less attractive everyday and I have been wondering since last year what is it that attracts me from men… haven’t found the answer yet 🤷🏾‍♀️

I feel the attraction. The love. The sex. The intimacy, all of it is perfect for me. However, with any other man, I just can't. And if I do, its a very specific taste I have, in looks and personality etc. I just switch off to men very easily and I never used to be this way.

Sounds similar to my situation, how you feel, and I hope you find answers. And I am honestly thinking being on here, and seeing how sleazy the men in my inboxes or who approach me, can be that it's put me way off men. I don't know. 

[Je****]

12 hours ago, xxox313 said:

Lesbian here, tbh I had a somewhat similar experience to u. Personally for me it was a rly rly confusing thing for me right until I finally accepted that I’m a lesbian and then everything clicked into place and became very obvious. I’m not saying you are gay bc I don’t know but tbh if you’re questioning there’s probably some sort of reason for that. Main thing is whether ur bi or gay it’s ok!!

Thanks for your reply! It's interesting to read. I don't feel confused as such. I know my boyfriend is attractive to me, and I enjoy all the romance intimacy and sex stuff with him. Other men, I just can't even cope thinking about it. 

And the longing for lady companionship is just ever increasing. I dated a lady on and off in RL. (She also has a boyfriend) and though things didn't progress into a relationship, I think having that little bit of time with her has just set me in stone about wanting a girlfriend. Being with a woman and all that comes with it. I honeslty feel like a lesbian who loves and enjoys a man, but not men. If that makes sense. 

Now don't get me wrong, I'd never ever leave my boyfriend, not even for a woman, but I guess this is what is good about being poly, he also seeks another girlfriend at some stage so it suits us both in that way, to find someone whos potentially bisexual to date us. But geez, finding that is so so hard! 

[Je****]

4 hours ago, TrashKing said:

It could be that you're lesbian it could also just be that you've had terrible experiences with men and you need a break from them for now. I don't think you need to label yourself, I think you should take it slowly and do what feels best for you, see how it works, you might love it and you might hate it. The gift of being yourself is that you get to decide.

It could be that. I have a lot of trauma in my life surrounding men. From ex's strangers, family and friends, all male. But some of my closest people are male too, and I consider myself a "female" with a "male" mind and personality sometimes. 

 

Again, it is not about labels, (a few have said about labels in this thread) I merely said about it due to the discussion, but I know it is "for me" as I have dated and slept with women before. I know it is something I want, however I feel I will, at this moment in life, be more comfy with a boyfriend and a girlfriend, if we all dated as a 3. Let's see what comes of it xxxx

[Je****]

4 hours ago, askaugust said:

If you don't wanna pursue men lately then don't, the labels only matter for communication with strangers 💯 🤷🏻
Most ppl don't have a static type of attraction thier whole lives when being honest about it.

I am however very curious how ur nb partner feels about "fulfilling the male role" for u. Part of what makes my boy so right for me is that he doesn't prescribe me a "girlfriend" role or call me that even to strangers online for brevity.

Thanks for your comment. 

Again, I mentioned just above, I say boyfriend for reasons, that I personally cannot describe until my partner is ready. I also know myself as non-binary, in real life it is harder, where I live people are not as open and accepting. We have both battled with dysphoria, and while mine is ongoing, my partner has had some life stuff happen and will acknowledge and reveal things when he is ready. Beleieve me I am not being disrespectful to a NB term. xxx

[Ch****]

I think the trauma is a big reason to be put off men, I had my fair share and I don’t view men as I did when I was younger too, just the whole interaction with men is tiring me to the point of questioning my sexuality and if I have been conditioned to like men :’) very few I find attractive and I’ll make them go through ordeals to see if it’s worth it, because is not the sex that I’m looking for but some kind of connection/intimacy

[Deleted Member]

I think your post is totally relatable. One of the beauties about our community is the ability to be fluid with our identities and desires. It sounds like those have changed for you and you're on a new journey. I think that's wonderful. I have personally been mono-, poly-, bi-, and straight. I'm currently pan romantic, too. I don't like labels either but sometimes they help us define and understand what's going on.
We can all give advice but at the end of the day, it's you who decides. ☺️

[pu****]

Yes I f**ked around and found out, tried to find my first 3 way partner on grindr ...the shock when the gay man found a woman on their app was actually kinda funny

[pu****]

As someone who's both tried to seduce lesbians and tried convince gay men to have sex with my wife .....I will tell I've had zero percent success rate in the last tens years, so I speak from experience

[Je****]

9 minutes ago, punta-gorda903 said:

As someone who's both tried to seduce lesbians and tried convince gay men to have sex with my wife .....I will tell I've had zero percent success rate in the last tens years, so I speak from experience

I am very confused by your comments. To be totally honest...

I am not looking for sex with a gay man and I am not looking for a lesbian to have sex with my boyfriend. 

I honestly can see why you haven't had any success in these areas, but this is way far fetched from my own post and hopes.

 

[pu****]

Op am I gay if I have a boyfriend
Me no gay people don't f**k with opposite sex
Op are you sure
Me yes I have lots of experience
Op I'm confused

[ap****]

Who cares what everybody else says it's all about what you believe

[Je****]

34 minutes ago, punta-gorda903 said:

Op am I gay if I have a boyfriend
Me no gay people don't f**k with opposite sex
Op are you sure
Me yes I have lots of experience
Op I'm confused

Ok put into one comment it makes more sense. 

There are lots of people i know of who experiment or play with opposite sex. Some times it does happen 

Even if I sorry want relationships and romance with women, I'd still partake in play with men of a sexual nature. As I said the likes of a gang bang. For many aspects. The use and ***, lack of control, domination, ***. If it pleases a partner and so on. 

 

 

[pu****]

What you just described sounded bi

[pu****]

I don't mean any disrespect I'm just trying to keep it simple 👌 you sound like a cool person and I wish luck in whatever endeavor you find yourself in and with that have nice day

[Ka****]

I've always considered sexuality & gender expression to be a continuum and to be somewhat fluid. Had a friend - committed lesbian relationship. Always presented bi-sexual. But, here's the thing: there was really only one PARTICULAR man she found satisfying sexually (okay, we had long, beer-fuelled discussions about relationships) and it had nothing to do with technique. It was THE PERSON she found satisfying. It was my friendship with Teddy, more than anything, which helped me begin to see sexuality as more than little pigeonholes people fit into.

[Deleted Member]

I respectful as possible. Your issue here isn't attraction to what gender.. its being attracted to how can i put it kindly.. "Not nice people".. Your problems will continue regardless of how you change your preference. Both men and woman ect are capable of this behaviour your talking about.. you are not looking to solve the problem but look for a better alternative instead. That's your issue

[bo****]

Find a female lover

[Co****]

This is a really interesting post to me. I tend to be more feminine, and I'll admit that the idea of being with a more typically masculine man intimidates me somewhat. One thing that could be causing confusion is this idea that sexuality and orientation have hard limits. I don't think you're "verging on gay", rather that you are coming to terms with what you are attracted to. You seem to be attracted to femininity, and that's not exclusive to women. There is even a possibility that you are into more masculine traits, but through past experiences have associated them with negativity. This is in contrast to how you associate femininity, which seems to be mostly positive. Either way, it's a lot to think about. I wish you luck, and believe in you to come to terms with what your sexuality is and means to you<3

[Wh****]

You might be overthinking it a little 🤔 just go with your gut. Agonizing over labels is just buying into a social construct. You like ladies? Dude, go get em 😉

[ju****]

Talk to your bf? I've had an exception with an ex who was bi where it's fine for her to be with girls. It made her happy so I was happy.