Doms not leading conversations....

[Deleted Member]

Wednesday at 03:42 PM, Toxic_Meerkat said:

I find comments like this slightly disturbing.  Control is given, not taken.  It's about consent and respect.  The whole roles in BDSM are, lets be honest, a form of roleplay.  You can live it 24/7, but you still need to have safe words and agreed limits.  In your opinion, I'm not a "real" Dom because I don't demand control?  That's intimidation, not mutual, consentual respect.

Willingness… apparently you have a difficult time with reading comprehension. It’s not about demanding control, it’s about willingness to do so.

If you aren’t willing when the sub offers it up you are either 1) not interested or, 2) not a real Dom.

Here is the point again. A Dom, one who is a dominant mind by nature, which perhaps you are not, and if not, fine! Ok 👍🏽, a dominant mind is always willing to take control.

A dominant mind, which in my opinion is the core of a natural Dom, seeks to control events to its benefit, which can and should be win/win. This doesn’t mean non-consensual wrenching of a conversation, but it does mean if the control is offered willingly by a true submissive, you are willing and able to step up.

If you aren’t, you’re, as I said, either uninterested or fake.

[4R****]

7 minutes ago, MasterLot said:

Willingness… apparently you have a difficult time with reading comprehension. It’s not about demanding control, it’s about willingness to do so.

If you aren’t willing when the sub offers it up you are either 1) not interested or, 2) not a real Dom.

Here is the point again. A Dom, one who is a dominant mind by nature, which perhaps you are not, and if not, fine! Ok 👍🏽, a dominant mind is always willing to take control.

A dominant mind, which in my opinion is the core of a natural Dom, seeks to control events to its benefit, which can and should be win/win. This doesn’t mean non-consensual wrenching of a conversation, but it does mean if the control is offered willingly by a true submissive, you are willing and able to step up.

If you aren’t, you’re, as I said, either uninterested or fake.

I think we need to be careful about throwing the word "fake" around (and "true" for that matter also).

You're right, a dominant mind is always "willing" to take control, but equally will only do so when it is appropriate. In addition, until such time as there has been a clear communication of some element of power exchange, it is incumbent on both parties to have equal input and responsibility for leading the conversation. 

In short, as a D-type, It's not for Me to do all of the work to keep a conversation flowing, if the s-type isn't putting in any effort, then I'm not going to either and I'll disengage soon after - as many have found out. 

[Deleted Member]

10 minutes ago, 4RCH said:

I think we need to be careful about throwing the word "fake" around (and "true" for that matter also).

You're right, a dominant mind is always "willing" to take control, but equally will only do so when it is appropriate. In addition, until such time as there has been a clear communication of some element of power exchange, it is incumbent on both parties to have equal input and responsibility for leading the conversation. 

In short, as a D-type, It's not for Me to do all of the work to keep a conversation flowing, if the s-type isn't putting in any effort, then I'm not going to either and I'll disengage soon after - as many have found out. 

Exactly! If you lose interest, you lose interest. You exercise your will to discontinue.

You are also right, like other posters, that some just want to role play. Great 👍🏽. I don’t think that was the intent of the OP. The complaint was about willingness to take the incentive.

And I am happy to stand by True Dom, or Natural Dom, which would be by definition one that has a naturally Dominant mind.

I guess that would not apply to “play Doms” which is probably a better politically correct euphemism for fake. It is akin, in my opinion Monopoly *** 💰 not being real *** 💴.

It’s real for the parameters of the game, but don’t try to pay for your Whopper with it.

[4R****]

34 minutes ago, MasterLot said:

I guess that would not apply to “play Doms” which is probably a better politically correct euphemism for fake. It is akin, in my opinion Monopoly *** 💰 not being real *** 💴.

It’s real for the parameters of the game, but don’t try to pay for your Whopper with it.

Love this!!

[Co****]

MasterLot........To the core of the OP, anyone who claims the role of Dom who is not willing to lead a conversation with a new interested party, even if only to assess whether there is chemistry, is not a Dom. Pure and simple. Some subs may want to confess all their kinks and foibles and trauma and that is well and good.
A Dom still seeks and retains control. We permit the sub to ramble, but control remains.

Still not sure why this was addressed to me?
You didn't answer me from 6 days ago

[Deleted Member]

2 hours ago, CosmicAngel said:

MasterLot........To the core of the OP, anyone who claims the role of Dom who is not willing to lead a conversation with a new interested party, even if only to assess whether there is chemistry, is not a Dom. Pure and simple. Some subs may want to confess all their kinks and foibles and trauma and that is well and good.
A Dom still seeks and retains control. We permit the sub to ramble, but control remains.

Still not sure why this was addressed to me?
You didn't answer me from 6 days ago

Sorry, may have missed your entry. My comments were all intended to respond to the issue who started the thread.

Let’s see if I can scroll to find yours. It has been an active discussion!