BDSM PLAY SESSION PREPARATIONS

[purplepie]

How does the perfect BDSM Play Session look like from beginning to end? Tell us EVERYTHING! 🔥

[bm****]

Well it starts during the day, building anticipation. High energies due to excitement from text, looks and touch... building to the scene. The scene starts with a massage to relax her. Purposely not touching or removing her bra or panties. The massage ends with her donning a blindfold and headphones with her Playlist going.... that's how it starts anyway.

[Deleted Member]

It’s hard to say what it looks like because so much depends on the sub, what they want and where it goes down. There is a lot of variability.
.
In any situation, it is usually a lot of work. I don’t think some people realize what it entails and there is a grossly incorrect misconception that it’s easy. This was not directed at you @purplepie. Thanks for the post 🍑👋.
.
First, you have to have the equipment and toys. And anyone who tried to buy BDSM stuff at any level of experience will will tell you that’s not easy or cheap. The more experience you get, the more expensive things seem to become as you sort out garbage from legit things. That’s before buying serious BDSM furniture.
.
Next, you have to plan a little. You need to know what the sub wants and build around that. You don’t want to be in the middle of a session and be totally lost about what to do next. That is a mood killer for sure 😂. Yes, I’ve been there that’s how I know.
.
Then there is the setup. It’s not like taking off a belt in the heat of the moment. It can take me anywhere from 30m to and hour to be ready. That’s before grooming and taking a shower 😂
.
Believe it or not, it’s a lot of work for me during a session especially one that goes on for hours. I can seriously burn as many calories as when I play soccer depending on how much my body is involved. I don’t mind admitting that I am sore sometimes the next day.
.
Lastly, even if you have a devoted play room, you got take everything apart and tear down. I like to clean everything especially toys and put things away in a sensible way. It takes me about 30m to do all this.
.
Everyone is different with different perceptions of how involved it all can be. I don’t do things half ass or want to have regrets about what I should have done, so I prepare and do it 💯 all the way. “Anything worth doing is worth doing right.”
.
To all the real kinksters out there, stay safe, have fun and be well. To the $$$ exploiters, *** off. You wouldn’t last 15 minutes with me.

[SC****]

3 hours ago, AnyoneForRealHere said:

It’s hard to say what it looks like because so much depends on the sub, what they want and where it goes down. There is a lot of variability.
.
In any situation, it is usually a lot of work. I don’t think some people realize what it entails and there is a grossly incorrect misconception that it’s easy. This was not directed at you @purplepie. Thanks for the post 🍑👋.
.
First, you have to have the equipment and toys. And anyone who tried to buy BDSM stuff at any level of experience will will tell you that’s not easy or cheap. The more experience you get, the more expensive things seem to become as you sort out garbage from legit things. That’s before buying serious BDSM furniture.
.
Next, you have to plan a little. You need to know what the sub wants and build around that. You don’t want to be in the middle of a session and be totally lost about what to do next. That is a mood killer for sure 😂. Yes, I’ve been there that’s how I know.
.
Then there is the setup. It’s not like taking off a belt in the heat of the moment. It can take me anywhere from 30m to and hour to be ready. That’s before grooming and taking a shower 😂
.
Believe it or not, it’s a lot of work for me during a session especially one that goes on for hours. I can seriously burn as many calories as when I play soccer depending on how much my body is involved. I don’t mind admitting that I am sore sometimes the next day.
.
Lastly, even if you have a devoted play room, you got take everything apart and tear down. I like to clean everything especially toys and put things away in a sensible way. It takes me about 30m to do all this.
.
Everyone is different with different perceptions of how involved it all can be. I don’t do things half ass or want to have regrets about what I should have done, so I prepare and do it 💯 all the way. “Anything worth doing is worth doing right.”
.
To all the real kinksters out there, stay safe, have fun and be well. To the $$$ exploiters, *** off. You wouldn’t last 15 minutes with me.

I would like to piggy back on this. I too agree that it is a situation that varies. For some young subs and doms. There is a romantic fantasy that has been dreamed up by both. The sub may want that fifty shades dom that seems to read their mind and knows exactly what to and when.

Likewise the inexperienced dom will expect an almost slave like submissive. Given the primitive emotions and aspect of what the LS entails, this is to be expected.

So to answer Purplepie’s question, the situation begins with communicating. Understanding what each wants to get from the dynamic. And what each is willing to give as well. Boundaries and expectations. I had one sub that knew I liked to see tears when I spank. She actually pushed her *** limits until she sobbed for me. She never did that before. But we spoke about it before hand.

Understanding each others body cues and vocal cues is important throughout the dynamic. It can be easy to get wrapped up in what you want. But you have to be disciplined enough to know when and where to adjust the timing and play.

It’s always nervous when meeting a new play partner. And you have to feel comfortable and familiar and trusting. It will be awkward if you’re not. And both will know it. So a chill time meeting before the play is suggested. Just to get to know each other.

Make sure that the plan you spoke about is executed correctly. If you didn’t talk about restraints, then a surprise move to use them may not be the best idea. (With the rare exception of the sub being so into the Dom that they allow it and you know they are okay with it).

Afterwards a cool down period is necessary. If a sub has achieved sub space, they may just need alone space. And it’s possible both need solo sexual release. This should be discussed as well on what needs are to be attended to. I have had subs who needed masturbation after I spanked them. And asked that I assist with the rubbing or touching. The orgasm achieved with this kind of connection is incredible on a physical and emotional level.

As far as the end. We are all humans and we need connection. It’s important to be able for a Dom to contact the sub, and for the two to communicate back after the play session. This can lead to more comfortable play sessions and expanding of the dynamics boundaries. 

[mr****]

Depends on your limits and your partners limits

[Sa****]

22 hours ago, AnyoneForRealHere said:

It’s hard to say what it looks like because so much depends on the sub, what they want and where it goes down. There is a lot of variability.
.
In any situation, it is usually a lot of work. I don’t think some people realize what it entails and there is a grossly incorrect misconception that it’s easy. This was not directed at you @purplepie. Thanks for the post 🍑👋.
.
First, you have to have the equipment and toys. And anyone who tried to buy BDSM stuff at any level of experience will will tell you that’s not easy or cheap. The more experience you get, the more expensive things seem to become as you sort out garbage from legit things. That’s before buying serious BDSM furniture.
.
Next, you have to plan a little. You need to know what the sub wants and build around that. You don’t want to be in the middle of a session and be totally lost about what to do next. That is a mood killer for sure 😂. Yes, I’ve been there that’s how I know.
.
Then there is the setup. It’s not like taking off a belt in the heat of the moment. It can take me anywhere from 30m to and hour to be ready. That’s before grooming and taking a shower 😂
.
Believe it or not, it’s a lot of work for me during a session especially one that goes on for hours. I can seriously burn as many calories as when I play soccer depending on how much my body is involved. I don’t mind admitting that I am sore sometimes the next day.
.
Lastly, even if you have a devoted play room, you got take everything apart and tear down. I like to clean everything especially toys and put things away in a sensible way. It takes me about 30m to do all this.
.
Everyone is different with different perceptions of how involved it all can be. I don’t do things half ass or want to have regrets about what I should have done, so I prepare and do it 💯 all the way. “Anything worth doing is worth doing right.”
.
To all the real kinksters out there, stay safe, have fun and be well. To the $$$ exploiters, *** off. You wouldn’t last 15 minutes with me.

Imma just sneak in here and quick say how AMAZING this answer is. As a newer sub/switch I wish every Dom/Domme was just like this. Thank you. 🥵💥

[su****]

I want to please my sub's fetish

[su****]

I really love ass play, giving and receiving, also very oral too.

[ab****]

These are all so good. As I gain more experience as a Dom I appreciate learning from others, and this has all been good input.

One thing I would add is dedicate yourself to aftercare. I call it Beforecare, Duringcare, and Aftercare, because I make sure my sub knows she is loved and cared for the entire time. It helps her with trust and getting into her subspace. And I like it too.

 

I love the comments about taking hours. I do too, there is so much to experience together that goes beyond just spanking or bondage or sex. It’s exhausting, mentally and physically, but afterwards the memories are powerful and the feelings so intense. For me at least.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

Communication, preparation, safety measures and consent. Oh yeah... and lots of fun. The rest varies greatly. 🙂

[Bronzey]

I agree with a lot of what's been put up here already. 

To explain how my wife and I play she would like notice of the session a few hours prior so she can mentally prepare. Because we haven't played much in a while, I explain how we will keep things simple. 

She knows her safe words and is allowed to use them at any point she feels. As the dom if I hear the safe word I immediately untie or undo any binding. Depending on how she is feeling, I usually have a kind of after care kit to help her in any situation. 

Not all things I plan actually happen. And I'm ok with that. Because even if I don't get to tie her up as I'd like or get to do as I please, she still plays a good submissive with other things like keeping to the role, wearing her collar or letting me pin her down. 

To me the most important thing would be the after care. To me the submissive is releasing control to the dom and letting them basically do as they please. So to me it's important for the dom to show how much he appreciates and cares for his/her submissive. 

After care should include their favorite snacks. Something soft like a blanket or soft PJ. Get their favorite movie. Provide back massages and lots of cuddles. 

I've read that a lot of BDSM blogs about how in a session the sub is actually in control by setting their limits. I believe in this so much. Even if this is true it's still important to let the sub know how much their dom appreciates them. 

 

[504noah]

Yes!

[504noah]

Spreader bars, oil, and toys for her....before there's an evening of no holes barred evening....

[87****]

I start the day of with a self care routine. But, before that day even hits, I have been talking to the person for at least a week or two about what we want the scene to be, what safewords we wanna use, any medical conditions either of us have and how to handle them. What are our limits and what things we don't want to happen. When my local club was open, I would watch them play with other people to make sure our styles aline. I still do this, I ask people in the community about their reputation and how they feel they handle things. 

Alot goes into vetting and scenes, and I make sure we have the time for both. Weather that's putting the scene off until we both feel comfortable with everything or making sure we are a good fit and admitting to people when they have made me uncomfortable. I have high anxiety so this one is hard for me. 

[Tw****]

Communication!!!!!!

[Co****]

I dont have much experience at all, but Im sure feeling safe, appreciated, relaxed, excited........would help me to want to Submit more.
Being protected, guided, mentally, physically...........and the Dom showing me hes put effort into the scene, with build up, forplay........him in charge.
Im sure would reap dividends.
Theres so many delicious scenes, i can only imagine atm 😊

[littlemiss37]

it is important to find out if your play partner has any conditions and to also discuss what there likes and dislikes are. also connection is important for me. to also work ur partner up example if impact play to notice if they just want to go on because there adrenaline is running high also to keep checking in and after care is really important x

[lo****]

Nalls