Dominants Vs Ass Play

[Je****]

So yeah, topic will be as the title suggests.

 

 

I was browsing quick kink, on my couple profile as we seek women but sometimes the odd fella appeals. For cuck and bull play perhaps. 

Me being someone who always reads profiles, came across one that made me a bit sad (and annoyed) to read.

 

Hot guy right up my street, however stated "ass play is a limit, as a dominant, I see it as a weakness".

 

So my question is, how is enjoying ass play, or someone reaching your prostate/love button via the arse, a weakness?

Are only submissive men allowed to have this extra pleasure?

Does this make men who enjoy ass play weak?

 

In my "not so expert" opinion, someone who is a dominant, who sees ass play as a weakness, is in fact weak themselves. It sort of hits that taboo button, of toxic masculinity, that if you enjoy things in and around your ass, that you're gay or whatever. Which simply isn't the case. 

Any man can enjoy ass play and can order a submissive to pleasure them in this way, still in control and so on. 

Now obviously I am assuming with the above but the fact "dominant = ass play = weakness" makes me feel so sad and pitiful they are missing out, and it wasn't mentioned as a case of preference or "tried it and didn't enjoy". 

 

Why are so many dominant men, so afraid of ass play? How does it make you weak? Or ***? Or less than?

Why not explore that love button (if you haven't already)? 

Why put the weakness in association? 

To me, a man who's in touch with his body, open to all levels of pleasure, who plays in his own arse, mine or let's me play in his, is very confident, sexy and appealing. 

 

Just wondering if there were others in this "weakness" boat who could shine light on why it's a weakness? Without the whole "I am not submissive" spiel. Because as I said, a dominant can still access this play, and fully be in control of his submissive in the scene. 

Am I also not bashing, so please don't assume that over me. And as already stated, I am not talking about people who have already tried it and wasn't for them, nor am I shaming men who don't like it.

Edited July 6, 2023 by Jeneral_Whore

[Deleted Member]

I'm a Dominant and I open my kind for the right partner

[si****]

It’s quite simple, the fact the bottom would make them cum by anal stimulation is considered domination over them , it is insecurity in a way . I am a switch so my opinion is subjective

[My****]

Not that I agree but it's likely that in the Greek times, in homosexual acts there was the one receiving and one giving the one receiving was the submissive of the two, and was seen as a status effect. So I would imagine it's seen as a submissive only area because it would be hard to keep the dominant structure in the old times and also in the now modern structure. If you think about it. Take a hetero couple as a man being the Dom and having her wear the leather and strap-on while giving dominant commands to her, I couldn't take that seriously and that's just me. It just seems like that wouldn't work. I think it's just the taboo of it, and since it's still a somewhat new concept that people haven't adjusted to it in time.

[Ka****]

I've always considered ass play to be part of my vanilla life - along with a love of cunnilingus. I can see where some might consider burying your face in a woman's crotch for long periods "submissive" - I just consider it a lot of fun. And I don't indulge during role-playing. As far as having a sub rim me - yes, please.

[LS****]

Good question. If I had to guess, I would say this - like a lot of psychosexual stuff - has its roots in long standing cultural bias. I think most dominant and submissive behavior is learned; cultural and social, not innate.
From that perspective, a glance at pop culture and media shows really quickly how a man receiving anal penetration is depicted as unmanly; from Mac insisting his father would never take from another man in “It’s Always Sunny” to any prison scene in any raunchy comedy where a huge inmate says “I’m going to make you my bitch,” or otherwise implying the same.
I agree with you, it’s not innately submissive - but we’re absolutely trained to believe that it is by the way it’s depicted and spoken about. I imagine a lot of that discourse comes from old homophobia, “gay = less masculine,” so hopefully as those old stereotypes go away, these sorts of learned psychosexual blocks will too.

[Da****]

It’s honestly a weakness to see it as a weakness. As a dominant anything my submissive can do to enhance my pleasure should be at least open for conversation, I love to have mine eaten and played with. TBH what this is, Is homophobia plain and simple. These so called “alphas” viewing it as taking away from their manhood when the reality is a real man Can shout from the rooftops eat my ass you dirty slut!😜
So afraid they will fall out of the closet with some assplay…

[ki****]

Well to be honest I love my arse being played with and there’s nothing hitting my g-spot. I think men who are scared to try it out are not as open minded as they think or just scared of they own sexuality

[Deleted Member]

Silly...if you have truly found your prostate, there is no mystery to why I want you there

[pa****]

Personally i love ass play, would love to try pegging, but im more dom. However i find it hard to meet a female that would engage in it. Mind you to be fair ive not even met a female from this site so im not holding much hope

[ce****]

All I can say is everybody is different. Anal play happens to be the only reason I got this app. I’m obsessed with it. I am strictly into giving not receiving. It’s not because I’m weak or anything, it’s just something I’m not into personally. But for any submissive woman out there looking for a soft dom to give them a helping hand or two, I’m your guy

[xm****]

For me personally, as a dominant man who has ass play as a hard limit (on myself). I cannot help but feel as if I would be giveng up control. To me it feels the same if my sub were to tie me up, or even just grab my wrist during a scene. I need to have physical control in a scene in order to truly feel in control. While this isnt the case outside of a scene, its just different for me in a scene. This goes the same for any other position that would put me on the bottom. Thats all it is for me. If I were to do something that takes me out of the dom mindset, it would completely ruin the scene, and make me want to end it immediately. So do I view it as a weakness? Maybe, but its not really that simple for me. If that means I miss out on a bit of pleasure, well then I miss out. I obtain plenty of pleasures in many other ways, both sexually and not.

[De****]

Seems like insecurity to me. I do it for my dom. They are still in control.

[NY****]

So I’m not into ass play on me but I like doing it to my girlfriend besides, she enjoys it and part of my kink is watching her get off and also you’re supposed to do what your girl wants to an extent as long as it doesn’t harm you or is not your sexual preference

[do****]

Only speaking for me. In agreement that it stems from homophobic beliefs. Taking it in the rear is neither dominant or submissive. I had my salad tossed one time, did not like it and it stopped there. I'm no different than a woman that doesn't like anal, or oral, or anything else sexual. We like what we like. Those that put labels on likes are idiots 🤷🏾‍♂️.

[Deleted Member]

I first experienced the magic of anal pleasure with my first serious GF. She was giving me a wonderful and sloppy BJ. As I got close to cumming, she slide her middle finger up my ass using the messy saliva as lube. I didn't have time to react to the penetration itself, because once she did that and touched my prostate I very quickly had one of the best orgasms of my life. It was sensational.
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“To me, a man that’s in touch…”
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💯 agreed and well said Jeneral. I don't think that being in touch with your body and enjoying pleasure from anal means anything about position, strength or orientation. It takes someone comfortable with themself and strong to enjoy anal without any incorrect stigmas or guilt ruining it either before, during or after, or the prospect in the future.
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To all the people who like anal, I applaud you 🍑👋💜

[wa****]

I can see why Dom’s would feel that way butt damn I fucking love ass play

[Deleted Member]

Someone truly Dominant would not say that, unless, as you say, they didn't like it. There is still that latent prejudice in some men that assume enjoying having your arse touched means you're gay. It reeks of insecurity. They are missing out x

[Deleted Member]

Different strokes for different folks. That guy just clearly has some underlying issues...

Hope he can get to the bottom of it 😁

[Deleted Member]

This is an interesting read, it started well when it appeared to be curious about the many reasons why a guy may not enjoy ass play. But when you move into calling a Dom ‘weak’ for not liking something. It in itself starts to become toxic and though you say you are not ‘bashing’ or ‘shaming’ it doesn’t come across well. Just as many sub leaning folk have a wide and varied number of limits, so should Doms. Yet we have a bit of an unspoken culture to not really discuss Dom limits as some may see that as a ‘weakness’. I myself think it is a good thing that a Dom has shared this element about himself and it’s a shame this has been taken as a ‘weakness’ and publicly discussed. I think it would be interesting to flip this with a male Dom commenting on a female sub limits or discussing why she doesn’t like ass play. It would not be tolerated, rightly so. It’s simple, people’s limits are their own and should be respected not ridiculed.

[Sp****]

It’s definitely caused by a misconstrued sense of “what is and what is not” Dominant. As long as the play is instructed by the Dominant, or if they have communicated that the Dominant (would) enjoy it, and the submissive is anticipating their Dominant’s desires to provide pleasure, it is ABSOLUTELY not a submissive act to receive. Oddly enough I’ve met Dominants who also refuse to give oral sex to their submissives due to it being a “submissive act”.

[sw****]

As a switch I'd love to try it sometime... I am very hetero and very masculine, but definitely open to trying it. , maybe if you were close to me I'd let you take the reigns for a night .. ahh well such is life.
I think what you said hit it on the button. He'd be ashamed and is overly masculine in a way that's not open to much play , he just wants to fuck bitches basically, he's a Chad lol

[un****]

cultural bias most likely. for me personally i don’t enjoy penetration at most i’ll do a rimjob but thats the extent of it

[Deleted Member]

You know, I'm all for anyone who says they're not into something... But that reasoning is weak and pathetic in and of itself.

It screams of *** and insecurity, honestly sounds like he's scared he might enjoy it 😒

I'm bi and a switch and I'm not gonna lie, ass play is GENERALLY reserved for my submissive moments but...

You can ride a cock and be dominant at the same time

You can face fuck someone while they finger you, there's ways to make it fit your dynamic

[Sh****]

I love ass play guys just don't understand because it's taboo for them they just dont know what their missing it is the most extense orgasm you can have