Playing with disabilities & injuries.

[Je****]

Everyone here, almost, loves kink to some degree. A wide variety, which is fabulous. A lot of things aren't for everyone. 

 

I know mental health issues and kink has been picked up a lot in the forums, which I have skimmed over from time to time, as I am someone with a good few MH issues that maybe needed to read that advice on play and keeping safe and looking after a partner during scenes etc.

 

So to my post now, playing as someone who is injured or has a disability.

I do not mean role play of a medical kind, I mean someone who is listed in real life as disabled, or suffers with injuries.

Would you continue to play, if within your means?

If it doesn't create too much *** and discomfort?

I am afraid to activate a scene, incase i look a bit silly, being injured and potentially harming myself, which is easy to do at the moment. 

Incase of rejection as my partner is worried for my wellbeing, and I am so eager to get back into play, even though there is a lot I simply cannot do, but want to try, at least gently. 

 

My injuries have left me, temporarily disabled. I don't know how long for, and I need walking aids and a lot of support from someone else to manage basic things. I know I would be safe playing with my partner, especially if in a bedroom scene, where there is plenty of space to lay down and take things slow and easy, but what kind of things would people suggest, to start with? To still create sexual tension, build an atmosphere for both, that isn't going to end up focused on someone's disability or ***? I want to feel sex and loved and wanted, but I have been putting things off because of how I am atm, I know speaking with my partner, he'll want to do whatever I am happy with to my comfortability level, but I want to try and push that bit more. 

Anyone know anything small, but tense, sensual, soft and doesn't require TOO much physical or rough movement? 

Hope I have made sense, thank you xxx

[un****]

i’m permanently disabled my legs are fucked relatively speaking compared to the normal person and the best advice i can give you is be aware of your limits like i can pick someone up briefly but i ain’t carrying someone from the couch to the bedroom know what i mean. To address the second part of this its all about both the mental and physical a bit of teasing a lot of small touches like brush the spine, ass, kiss the neck things of that nature

[Charms]

I'm going to be brutally honest I fucking hate being disabled. 

 

Till I had Gail stones I was perfectly  healthy I'd walk 3 to 5 miles a day. I was never home. I'd be home to sleep an get changed .

 

Had my gallbladder out at 25 had a stroke. Dr's don't know why. Just 1 of them things.  I dealt with that lots of hospital visits. 

 

Then I got fibromailga witch slowly over the years as got wores. 

 

Started going out for coffee when I could with the most amazing  freind. Things happened . I refused to date him. No way was I going to date anyone with my crap body. He spent weeks learning about my medical  conditions an then said he didn't care. Little did we know we were both kinksters. I'd been a kinkster since early 20s.

 

We do as much as we can not as much as I'd like . But we have fun. He knows just how far he can push me just by how I react to his touch. There will be days I want to play ill beg him an he will go no. Your in to much ***. I cam tell just by the way your walking or even by what music I listen to.

 

Iv know been diagnosed with trigeminal nurolga . That's evil as hell. An to top it of know it seems I have other health problems some thanks to my genetics.

 

I have actually have a group of carers im 45. I should be out there but no I'm often stuck in my bed. I'm on a coctail of meds without them no idea were I'd be. 

 

The more ill I get the more I yearn for kink. I get to take control of my body during kink. I'm extremely controlling I try an control everything I can in my everyday life. I know have ocd. So being sub let's me give up control for just a few hours an it's bliss. I don't have to think about anything at all I can just be.

 

 

[Deleted Member]

i agree with the emphasis on knowing your limits, know what is going to hurt you body and what you can do safely - for example, i know my body can do bondage and being tied up, but i cannot be tied up with bent joints, and i know i can stand and walk around, but it’s better if i can keep a stool or something at places where i may be static for a while so i can perch there, in general i prefer keeping things to a bed/couch/large space where my body can more easily be positioned how i know will not cause me *** later - i let my body guide what i’m going to do and create as much as the space as i can within my body’s comfort and then i can have fun in there, best of luck xx

[St****]

Agreed

[li****]

I have a disability.......I have arthritis and problem with my feet which docs can't seem to figure out what is wrong with them. I am like @Charms I'll beg my Dom to have an impact play session and he knows right away I'm not well enough for it and he'll say hell no , not till you're well enough. Or if he knows I'm having a very bad mental health day which can happen more often than an arthritis flare up!!! He will be like no way and even tho I want to desperately he knows I won't be able to handle it even though he knows my body ect he will still say no. I can't kneel or be on my hands and knees for too long so Sir will work round that too.....like in an impact play session I'll start on my hands and knees then I'll say Amber to Sir and he knows then I need to get on my front and off my knees, then we'll carry on the session, it's the little things like that, that I know I have a good egg in my Sir. He won't ever push me to play if I'm not up for it.

 

You know what's going to hurt you and what isn't, what you like and what you don't etc. If I'm having a bad arthritis day and we do wanna play Sir will initiate a sensory play instead so then I can be on my back and he'll use soft things like feathers, crops, floggers , nothing too harsh or rough. It's all about finding what you can push yourself too and your limits to your *** etc. ❤️

Edited July 7, 2023 by lil-monster

[Da****]

My sub has had injuries that we have had to take into account as well and there are times where we have cut a session short or had to pivot from say impact play to wax or electro stimulation.. something that she can do.. We go slow and I check on her a lot... if things get too much for her then we do something she can do.. it is still fun for both of us.

[Charms]

What's wores is when u have to go for around of tests an scans at the hospital  so you don't get impact play. Not fun. I brought master a vampier bat because I'm so awesome.  An we've not used it yet grrr

[Chloebear]

I’d offer very similar advice… it’s not much different to any play in some ways in that you are communicating your needs and limits clearly and checking during a session, it’s just that your needs and limits are currently altered.

As for suggesting stuff it does depend on you guys. If mobility is an issue, directing them to perform for you, or do something for you whilst you watch (and can move and be comfy) could be fun. Maybe a photoshoot? I know you like your photography stuff…. Maybe they could photo you. The soft impact play stuff is nice. Learning and practising Shibari. Massage if that helps…. Get taught to cum without touch :D there’s definitely stuff to do.

Sometimes you just can’t. Don’t feel defeated, try again a different way, experiment.

[ki****]

What about sensory play and light impact play with a little roleplay. Laying on bed with restricted movement is similar to be restrained so you could use that to build abit of tension, maybe a blind fold with various toys being run over your body keeping you guessing as to what it is gently building up sexual tension. It’s about working with in your limits to keep things safe and comfortable. I find impact play can help manage *** if done right. Realeasing extra endorphins. You could even use your walking frame as an aid leaning on it for a mini spanking but depends on what you like to do. You can use pillows and different furniture to use for support . Keep communicating with your partner to ensure your comfort but there be plenty to try.

[ja****]

I saw this post earlier and had to come back. Idk how to even start but my wife and I aren’t in a good place (we’re open) but when we were her and I would be extremely attentive and cautious of her neurological *** disorder and it seemed like I wasn’t dominant enough. So once we opened it seemed like she allowed a lot of stuff with others when she wouldn’t with me.

I feel like I’m just venting rn but I would say as long as your partner or play understands the situation it should not be a problem at all

[MasterDarcy1979]

I'm not physically disabled. However, I do have mental health issues.

It's a tricky one.

I'm a psychological Dominant (aka A kinky Sapiosexual) so my main component of expertise is psychology and Dominance of the mind.

This might not sound kinky or sexy, in any way, but it's my personal method: Communication.

Learning how a submissive ticks. What brings her to her knees (Metaphorically). Listening about her formative years. Her life. Her siblings. Everything and anything.

It can be incredibly erotic, from either side.

Listening and talking may not be in the top ten of kinks, but it should be.

It promotes mental closeness and trust. Plus, if you know how a person's mind ticks and which buttons inflame their engines, you can turn them on, akin to a flick of a switch.

This method isn't for everyone. But the mind is the largest erogenous zone in the human body and it often gets bypassed for T & A.

It's primal intimacy.

[Charms]

If any one wants to chat as 2 a disabled person aka me drop me a pm any time

[Mr****]

Hey, im recently disabled and went from very sexually active to having to make life style changes.
I would reccomend sensory play(ice, Candles, massage, incense, blindfolds, feathers), food play, gentle bondage. Its also a great excuse to have an online shopping date, look at new sex toys together and get excited, that could be foreplay as it is or a good things to do if the injured party needs a break or if you need to take a moment to rehydrate and re-sensitize. I can make reccomendations if wanted