Adding another sub

[Je****]

So boyfriend and I have been looking to add another sub. I'm away more than we want. I'm ok with adding another sub and we can all play but it seems so hard to find someone willing to play with couples. Anyone have advice

[ey****]

unicorn hunting is fairly difficult and there's a lot of topics and threads on it on the forum

effectively you need someone interested in both him AND you.    

this could also be difficult if you are doing a lot of the looking but the main benefactor is him.

 

the other thing to also consider, if this is mostly to keep him occupied if you're away more than you'd like - how does this change your relationship if you are suddenly available more than you previously thought - are they then pushed out

or, as is, if you're all to play together how does this impact your time when you're there, given you'll be now sharing time with someone you'd not seen as much as you'd like

 

in general, to add any form of third - a prospective third has to see how the arrangement benefits them. that they're not treat as an after thought, or option.  

[zr****]

Play together third parties as party

[Deleted Member]

For every couple it's always the chick that is straight and not the dude.

[Sp****]

The reason that you’re having trouble finding a third is that they are probably wary of the drama that such situations can bring. That the idea of “adding a third” sounds good on paper, but there are a LOT of interpersonal emotions when it comes to practical purposes. Have you decided if this will be a hierarchical arrangement where it’s Boyfriend>you>new girl? Or will you and new girl be on the same “level”? Like I said… lots of moving parts. Lots of women don’t want to be the “third wheel” and there is a reason that those who do are called unicorns. You may also want to beware of women who are over-eager to be a third, because I have seen quite a few poly relationships where the “third” has their sights firmly set on “second” and will do a great many manipulative things to get there. However as a Dominant with 3 poly submissives in My family, I can attest that it *can* happen and work well.

[To****]

some people just enjoy sex, I’ve been with a couple one male two woman and she was very affectionate to me as was he, it’s always a great time when we get together.

[Je****]

It doesn't change ours. He is honest and we all play when together.

[da****]

I wanna go for couples but cant seem to find any couples. Can anyone help? Im based in Sheffield

[fu****]

If you find it let me know!!!! We’ve been looking for our third for years!!

[Ar****]

As a type of unicorn, I have to be attracted to both the man and the woman. And then there are a lot of protocols set in place. It's difficult

[He****]

That’s because a lot of subs , especially those who are women, are worried they won’t get enough time or create tension between main

[El****]

It's definitely complicated.

[Do****]

It's relationship dynamics, no one wants to be a third wheel. When you have a pre-established dynamic what happens to the new person?

[El****]

I totally agree. I've wanted this same idea before but at the same time I couldn't live like that.

[Da****]

My kitty cat goes into heat sometimes and runs for a week or a month ven sometimes but she will always come home. It's not a 3rd wheel dynamic when control isn't expected and empowerment is happening subs will go but they will come back 😘

[Je****]

I'm a woman that is pleased by her dom making another woman cum. I'm ok with her with us together or

[Deleted Member]

Show your face and your "boyfriend".

[ge****]

Take a look at your profile and ask yourself what about it would be appealing to a third person looking to join you - if your answer is anything but "nothing" then you need to think again.
.
For starters it's not a couples profile and there is absolutely no information on there about your boyfriend other than you're looking for someone for him - being brutally honest a lot of people are going to be wary, and understandably so, that the person behind the profile is actually the "boyfriend" using an angle to try and get meets and that you are non-existent.
.
Even if that's not the case do you really think people will want to potentially meet someone sight unseen with nothing to go on about them? No pictures, no profile text to speak of etc?

[Da****]

@gemini_man Well said

[Jo****]

Think a lot of dudes don't like playing with other dudes and a lot of women don't like playing with other women. So as a heterocouple it's prolly hard to find a sub for that situation

[Da****]

My partner is bi.

[Ze****]

It’s a huge turn on for some such as myself and not for others. Ut depends on how deep you and your doms roots go. In my experience if the sub gets to know you guys through a couple of meetings ect. She will tend to be alot more open to the idea when you’re not there.

[el****]

I am totally interested in new to this but I would love getting involved

[br****]

That be totally hot !!  

[Da****]

To clarify my female sub is bi. 😂 some people miss interpreted, a previous post on this thread.