Re**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 Alright...I finally found what I've been looking for and she is just gorgeous. So, now then. She is Domi and I am the subject. So...how do prepare mentally for the ***, the ***. I mean do you meditate?
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 You discuss your limits and safe word if your going to be gagged you discuss hand signals.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 8 minutes ago, Jeneral_Whore said: Erm, ***? ***.?? Is he looking to get marked? Lol.
jo**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 Clear and honest communication (like ComingOutRonnie says) - don't forget to arrange your post-scene after care as well and cover your safety bases together.
Je**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 (edited) 13 minutes ago, HalfDomHalfSub said: Is he looking to get marked? Lol. Its concerning. The title is "for the very first time", yet he's talking *** and ***. You don't play for the very first time and enter into *** and ***. How long has he been with this lady of his? Have they had at least a month or two of chats. Countless vanilla meets before heading to the bedroom or having any play. Discussed limits and boundaries and know each others bodies and brains, enough to read signals and know when able to call safeword or call for them? Something here just concerns me. I am hoping I am wrong. OP if you've not been with this person for long, had vanilla in person meets, light play and learning and discussing then please please be very careful. Please. Edit. I've read profile and it describes this as a first time violent meet, with a dominatrix. Is this a professional thing then and not an intimacy thing? As in met in here potential couple arrangement? If a paid professional dominatrix she won't do "***" to someone she doesn't know or have met with before?! I'd not have believed so anyway. They're usually very strict Anyways. I still feel concerned. Edited July 9, 2023 by Jeneral_Whore
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 4 minutes ago, Jeneral_Whore said: Its concerning. The title is "for the very first time", yet he's talking *** and ***. You don't play for the very first time and enter into *** and ***. How long has he been with this lady of his? Have they had at least a month or two of chats. Countless vanilla meets before heading to the bedroom or having any play. Discussed limits and boundaries and know each others bodies and brains, enough to read signals and know when able to call safeword or call for them? Something here just concerns me. I am hoping I am wrong. OP if you've not been with this person for long, had vanilla in person meets, light play and learning and discussing then please please be very careful. Please. Edit. I've read profile and it describes this as a first time violent meet, with a dominatrix. Is this a professional thing then and not an intimacy thing? As in met in here potential couple arrangement? If a paid professional dominatrix she won't do "***" to someone she doesn't know or have met with before?! I'd not have believed so anyway. They're usually very strict Anyways. I still feel concerned. Not only that but discuss trigger warnings and make time-out spaces to recuperate from scene play. Our humans aren't unbreakable. Such activities can be taxing on the physical.
ey**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 it's natural to be nervous when it's a first time. if you think meditation might help you focus, give it a go. Avoid drink or *** as they will affect your experience. Some people might not wish to play with you if they think you're in any way *** - and it can put you at danger if there is an intense session. Otherwise, make sure you've eaten. Showered. If you're doing any form of anal play, that you've douched. And you've packed anything you've been asked to bring or know you will need. In reality, first play times are very much an introduction to each other. You should already have an idea about each others interests, levels, limits and experience before you meet to play. A lot of people generally prefer a few vanilla meets before diving in to play. This isn't the only way to do things. But if you're unsure what to expect, something isn't right.
Je**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 2 hours ago, maginist said: Wtf? You man up and do what you are looking for. This is so toxic and unnecessary. He has every right to ask for help and advice, no matter the form. Male or not either.
Re**** Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 3 hours ago, Jeneral_Whore said: Erm, ***? ***.?? Without being sarcastic or rude, you look like you're too young to go across the street and buy a pack of cigarettes let alone have any insight about a first time experience with domintrix and so....I don't know. Along with that, when they refer to this community as being bdsm, yeah...there could be things to do or of a similar nature.
He**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 You should have discussed what will happen, and how, and don't forget your safe word. Be well hydrated, avoid alcohol and ***, If whatever it is she is doing gets too much please stop. Remember SSC, safe, sane and consensual.
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 3 hours ago, maginist said: Wtf? You man up and do what you are looking for. There is no "manning up" in the bdsm scene there is mental preparedness and dare I say it? Yes vulnerability.
FETMOD-KF Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Redamusontheheadamus said: Without being sarcastic or rude, you look like you're too young to go across the street and buy a pack of cigarettes let alone have any insight about a first time experience with domintrix and so....I don't know. Along with that, when they refer to this community as being bdsm, yeah...there could be things to do or of a similar nature. do you have to be so rude to anyone who disagrees with you or asks valid question? you've done this on a few threads now. please reign your behaviour in.
DarkArts1066 Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 What “***” and “***” have you discussed with your Domme ? Can we reasonably assume that you have had a conversation with them ?…. If this person has experience, they should perhaps be leading and initiating you into this ??? Certainly, if you are not asking these questions, they should be prompting you ? There is a HUGE difference between *** and ***, and BDSM in the real world…. I have very real concerns about how you are approaching this. How much research have you actually done into the lifestyle ?
ma**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 There is no "manning up" in the bdsm scene there is mental preparedness and dare I say it? Yes vulnerability. Nah, if you are a man and want to submit? Man up and do what you are looking for. A man already knows what he is looking for before he even makes that leap.
ma**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 "Manning up" doesn't mean be masculine. It means own your choices
Je**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 2 hours ago, Redamusontheheadamus said: Without being sarcastic or rude, you look like you're too young to go across the street and buy a pack of cigarettes let alone have any insight about a first time experience with domintrix and so....I don't know. Along with that, when they refer to this community as being bdsm, yeah...there could be things to do or of a similar nature. Looks can be deceiving then. I am 33yrs old. And I've been in this community for only a little over 3yrs now. But I've a wide variety of friends, who i have learned from, as well as partners and I frequent forums and discussions to learn about kinks and bdsm practises. So thank you for the youthful compliment, however I still feel concerned on your wording. Violent and ***. On a first meet. Professional dominatrix or not, your safety should be paramount and you don't dive into any play session, professional or not until all safety practises and healthy discussions have taken place. Do with that what you will.
Je**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 19 minutes ago, maginist said: "Manning up" doesn't mean be masculine. It means own your choices So you tell a woman to man up too? Man up literally is masculine. And its not a very good phrase. But what do I know. I look too young apparently 🤷♀️
Deleted Member Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 1 hour ago, maginist said: "Manning up" doesn't mean be masculine. It means own your choices "Manning up" has a toxic outlook on masculinity as a whole. The BDSM community is not 50 Shades of Gray sir. They were against that movie series as a whole.
Re**** Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 Hmmm.....let me say this first, some of us who are sexually frustrated have been known to turn to stimulate such as meth and coke. Consequences like jail are real possibilities. During a conversation with a psychiatrist in which I didn't know how to respond to anything he'd asked, I just overwhelmed that day he something I've never forgotten: These talks/sessions we have are like walking in the dark with a flash light hoping you'll bump into something. For God sake be real. Be who you really are because it's only then that you will find the answers to the questions that seek. Be real. He mentioned domintrix to me and/or if you're gay. So, I'm not gay nor am I hating on any who are. He didn't have anything to say about prostitution and so, this is to do with I'm not happy with life as it is. I don't like the hookup thing or any of that, but a domintrix in that sense is something to consider that has been around for ever and a day. So, I'm in it's happening in the near future. It's not cheap either, but I don't care this is part of life that is important and I'm relatively sure I'm not going to stop. So....I was a boy scout growing up and it's all about be prepared. When I came here in the beginning I knew that this is place to be in light of that. This is a good place to seek counsel and support. I got started off on the wrong foot because my attitude. I regret that, too. I mean that, but....when someone is in *** and all you everywhere you go a scam artist or a hookup is the only thing to be seen....the possibility of going ballistic is is real. I'm excited about my first session here soon, but I dont think I'm going to be feeling like a cheerleader on the sideline at a football game once the show gets underway. It probably more like me shouting who let the dogs out,!! Point being, I want to be ready. I've always been attracted to women like this, but never had the nerve to try. Porn , *****, prostitution have been the norm too long and it never worked. It a pacifier that has lost its use.
Re**** Posted July 9, 2023 Author Posted July 9, 2023 11 hours ago, Jeneral_Whore said: Erm, ***? ***.?? I did say that didn't I??!!. I thought you brought that into the conversation. I'm sorry Jeneral Whore. I apologize. WTF!!!! You red headed dope. You started the thread and can't remember what you said!!! It's been tense. A couple of people (family) tripped out and stopped communicating with me over it. Still.....you gotta stand up for something or you'll fall for anything
Je**** Posted July 9, 2023 Posted July 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Redamusontheheadamus said: I did say that didn't I??!!. I thought you brought that into the conversation. I'm sorry Jeneral Whore. I apologize. WTF!!!! You red headed dope. You started the thread and can't remember what you said!!! It's been tense. A couple of people (family) tripped out and stopped communicating with me over it. Still.....you gotta stand up for something or you'll fall for anything Yes you did bring those words into it, and I was alarmed for you. *** shouldn't really be the word. It has negative attachments, and no dominatrix (I am assuming you are paying one due to your response above the one addressed to me), will be violent in play. They do this as a career and take it very seriously and will not want to harm anyone. Were you under the influence when you wrote this post or made decisions? You mentioned *** and I worry with your response. Please always be sober, have full capability to call a stop if you need to, and to ensure your safety at all times.
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