Va**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Curious minds would like to know: How do you handle complacency within your dynamic?
ke**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 I don’t lol. I mention something lightly to see if they take the hint but people who are complacent are usually comfortable which means they are unwilling to change. And me being the highly motivated individual I am, I cannot settle for that mindset. So I bounce
p1**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Take a break from each other. For a few months. No contact if possible.
Ze**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 If it’s a pattern it would need to be addressed swiftly and accurately based on the dynamics.
p1**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 Ehh sorry for the double post. I just realized i’m unsure if you are talking about being complacent in a relationship with another or with yourself.
Va**** Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 5 minutes ago, Zeak380 said: If it’s a pattern it would need to be addressed swiftly and accurately based on the dynamics. Could you give an example? I know this is a theoretical situation.
Va**** Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 4 minutes ago, p13pie said: Ehh sorry for the double post. I just realized i’m unsure if you are talking about being complacent in a relationship with another or with yourself. I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on both of you don’t mind!
Do**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 I'd just simply bring that up to the attention of my sub and give him ultimatum if he's not willing to change for keeping our dynamics healthy. I'd personally ban him from contacting me for a certain period of time and worst case scenario I'd just end our D/S relationship.
Va**** Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 4 minutes ago, Dominatrix_Ryu said: I'd just simply bring that up to the attention of my sub and give him ultimatum if he's not willing to change for keeping our dynamics healthy. I'd personally ban him from contacting me for a certain period of time and worst case scenario I'd just end our D/S relationship. So, in your opinion, the responsibility to avoid complacency is solely on the sub?
p1**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 10 minutes ago, Valkyrie_Wings said: I would enjoy hearing your thoughts on both of you don’t mind! Well if its in regards to another person being complacent in your relationship kinda like they are bored and apathetic then definitely take a break from each other to find out what it is about each other that you both (or if there are others) that attracts you and gives you the desire to be together. Some relationships die out with complacency because things get boring or someone in the relationship refuses to change their behavior even after being asked countless times over the years. Would you like to share and give more insight on what exactly has been going on? It may be a deeper conversation between the partners based on needs and wants. .Now if you are feeling complacent with yourself you have to find ways to do something that brings you happiness and if you cant find happiness in anything you should sit there and probably write it or and process thoroughly your thoughts and feelings on the WHY? Is there something in life that is holding you back ? 🤔
Sp**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 One person’s complacency is another’s contentment. If things are running tickety-boo, one partner may feel things are stagnant and lacking that constant thrill of novelty, whereas the other may feel comfortable with the regularity and consistency of things. It’s important that you figure out if your both standing in the same ground before you begin to handle anything.
ph**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 17 minutes ago, Dominatrix_Ryu said: I'd just simply bring that up to the attention of my sub and give him ultimatum if he's not willing to change for keeping our dynamics healthy. I'd personally ban him from contacting me for a certain period of time and worst case scenario I'd just end our D/S relationship. I’m gonna lead with, this shows the worst aspects of Dom/mes. One, nowhere in the OP was it said that complacency was regarding submissives. Two, an ultimatum? A lack of exchange and instead a power trip. An ultimatum, not negotiation? I mean, for sure, you do you. Do it with complete confidence. But, I find it disturbing and disgusting. I wish your subs the best. They’re gonna need better.
ph**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 I’m going to put forward the idea that it always falls on the Dom. Doms are, or should be the decision makers. Individual dynamics may not believe this to be true, cool, to each their own, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most adhere to this. . If the Dom is complacent, they need to check themselves figure out why. If the sub is complacent, the Dom needs to address it. Is it because the sub has found complacency due to nature and the dynamic needs to be discussed? Maybe it’s a lack of direction and the sub isn’t being pushed to their full potential. . Either way, it’s the Doms responsibility to guide, direct, and decide.
ea**** Posted July 10, 2023 Posted July 10, 2023 It happens with everyone. Life has that effect. So every month or 2, write a (Will, maybe won't) list to get the conversation going. Depending on the dynamic support, each other decide on 1 or 2 things a month to master. It' can be a buffet of play!
Va**** Posted July 10, 2023 Author Posted July 10, 2023 1 hour ago, easton311 said: It happens with everyone. Life has that effect. So every month or 2, write a (Will, maybe won't) list to get the conversation going. Depending on the dynamic support, each other decide on 1 or 2 things a month to master. It' can be a buffet of play! Life definitely has that effect! However, I feel like in a dynamic we are more responsible (or should be) with our relationships than someone more vanilla. Dare I say that it might be more important to be attentive to when things are becoming complacent? I do kinda like your idea of making a list though! It makes for a nice addition to a dynamic check-in!
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