Switch help

[b0****]

Opening myself to different aspects of my personality and interests. I think im a switch, because I love being submissive but I also have an urge to dominate and have control.

How do you approach this convosation with a regular? I'm not sure if he is the submissive type or is open to it. We've tried different things together :

-anal play 

-stretching

-toys 

-pussy pump 

- Oral

-restraints 

The sex is good, it's been regular for a year or so but im starting to feel like i need more. I also need to have a convosation about after-care, which I think is lacking abit, I didn't even know that was something  I needed before joining and reading through the forum. I definitely experience 'the drop'. 

We've talked about a ffm threesome but I want to have the' I want a bdsm relationship' convosation and I'm not sure how. 

How do I build my confidence in dominating? 

Where do I start? 

Any good books or material? 

I feel like porn isn't really realistic. 

[ge****]

Firstly you need to sit down with him and discuss the subject and get his take on it - and it sounds like you have an open enough relationship sexually that it should be quite easy to have that conversation. Could always say you found an interesting article on-line about BDSM that spoke to you and ask if he has any knowledge/views on the subject and take it from there (might help to find such an article to show him too - Google is your friend here)
.
You may have to be prepared that he's either not interested, or not in the slightest bit submissive or dominant but if so perhaps compromises can be found.
.
SM101 and Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns are two very good and well regarded books on BDSM.
.
As for confidence in dominating that will grow with experience, but obviously depends on your partner being submissive or switch and even then may require you to both be on the same wavelength in that respect.
.
First up though you need to have that conversation with him.
.
Good luck

[MsPebbles]

A good book for ladies coming into their dominance is The Hesitant Mistress, The Heart of Dominance and The Dominants Playbook are also good reads about building consensual dynamics

[b0****]

7 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Firstly you need to sit down with him and discuss the subject and get his take on it - and it sounds like you have an open enough relationship sexually that it should be quite easy to have that conversation. Could always say you found an interesting article on-line about BDSM that spoke to you and ask if he has any knowledge/views on the subject and take it from there (might help to find such an article to show him too - Google is your friend here)
.
You may have to be prepared that he's either not interested, or not in the slightest bit submissive or dominant but if so perhaps compromises can be found.
.
SM101 and Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns are two very good and well regarded books on BDSM.
.
As for confidence in dominating that will grow with experience, but obviously depends on your partner being submissive or switch and even then may require you to both be on the same wavelength in that respect.
.
First up though you need to have that conversation with him.
.
Good luck

Thank you for help 🙂

Im willing to accept it might not be for him, I think it would just be easier to explore with someone im already comfortable with rather than someone new. 

I see aspects of maybe a switch in him, but I guess I won't find out until we have that convosation. 

Will definitely check out the books. 

[b0****]

3 hours ago, MsPebbles said:

A good book for ladies coming into their dominance is The Hesitant Mistress, The Heart of Dominance and The Dominants Playbook are also good reads about building consensual dynamics

Awwh thank you! I'll be sure to check them out 😊

[ge****]

Have a talk and bring it up that u want to try new things. If I was in your position and a woman judged me for what I was into then she isn’t the one for me. And who knows he might have some secrets he is too shy to talk about