Hyper-sexuality

[Deleted Member]

Any other male Doms out their deal with hyper-sexuality, if so how do you deal with it and still manage to be a proper Dom?
(Not necessarily when it comes to the bedroom but with communication when actively trying to pursue a potential Sub in the wild, because personally I find it taking over my mind and next thing I know my personality is nothing but blunt raw sensual desire and it often gets in the way ruining a moment that could have gone somewhere. That being said it’s not like I just start talking about sex out of the blue, i end up just avoiding my thoughts and end the conversation cause the only thoughts there are sexual and related to it)

[Ha****]

Personally, being hyper sexual myself, the only partners who will get it n mesh with it are other hyper sexuals. Most others who claim they get often still get annoyed by it. Another hypersexual partner will indulge your dirty thoughts n play along with you.

[jo****]

It's called chrilvery

[BigPolly]

People think that being hypersexual is fun & exciting, people don’t understand how difficult it is mentally!
It’s so hard to understand why others aren’t like us, if they enjoy it why wouldn’t they want to feed that pleasure all the time but I guess it’s like any addiction, it takes over your brain in the most intrusive never ending way.
I’m a sub so from the other side of the coin, it’s just as difficult.
When I was a Domme I found the thrill of what I did would often quash my thoughts as that was a big rush in itself but as a sub (& as myself) my desire is never ending.
I joke that I’m a greedy girl & I’m lucky as my partner/Dom gets it & can be just as hungry but it can be difficult to navigate through some days without being demanding/irritating or full of endless innuendos hoping it’ll lead somewhere.
People think we’re ‘just highly sexed’ but to be hypersexual is way beyond, it can be lonely & although I love who I am the frustration of the whole uncontrollable brain mass makes me wish I wasn’t like this sometimes.
When I met my partner it was weird because there was actually no talk of sex which was an absolute first for me, we just laughed endlessly. I didn’t actually expect much from our first play session but he totally blew me away, something that no one had ever done before as no one had ever lived up to my expectations so for me the key was ‘avoid sex talk’
So no real advice sorry ….. just wanted you to know you’re not the only one out there. 😊

[Da****]

Thank you for your input. And that makes a lot of sense to me.

[Vi****]

5 hours ago, joshwaaa321 said:

It's called chrilvery

👆👆👆👆👆chivalry yes!!

[Vi****]

4 hours ago, BigPolly said:

People think that being hypersexual is fun & exciting, people don’t understand how difficult it is mentally!
It’s so hard to understand why others aren’t like us, if they enjoy it why wouldn’t they want to feed that pleasure all the time but I guess it’s like any addiction, it takes over your brain in the most intrusive never ending way.
I’m a sub so from the other side of the coin, it’s just as difficult.
When I was a Domme I found the thrill of what I did would often quash my thoughts as that was a big rush in itself but as a sub (& as myself) my desire is never ending.
I joke that I’m a greedy girl & I’m lucky as my partner/Dom gets it & can be just as hungry but it can be difficult to navigate through some days without being demanding/irritating or full of endless innuendos hoping it’ll lead somewhere.
People think we’re ‘just highly sexed’ but to be hypersexual is way beyond, it can be lonely & although I love who I am the frustration of the whole uncontrollable brain mass makes me wish I wasn’t like this sometimes.
When I met my partner it was weird because there was actually no talk of sex which was an absolute first for me, we just laughed endlessly. I didn’t actually expect much from our first play session but he totally blew me away, something that no one had ever done before as no one had ever lived up to my expectations so for me the key was ‘avoid sex talk’
So no real advice sorry ….. just wanted you to know you’re not the only one out there. 😊

I feel you!!!! 🫡

[Vi****]

Thanks for this post sometimes you think you are alone in this. But I just realized I’m not. I hated being a little ashamed of myself. I am very chivalrous my Dad raised me that way. But I believe my hyper sexuality comes from being molested at a young age. It’s here now so it’s been trying to find someone who gets it and can keep up with me. I never understood why I was always super horny until 4 years ago. Thanks for the post.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you all so much BigPolly and Lakeland especially, thanks for the advice. I kinda thought I was more alone in this and was nervous to ask about it, it’s really nice seeing there are others who actually understand me

[GreyHog]

Pursuit of a sub can be overwhelming to your thoughts. I experience this as well. I compare it to a hunter in the woods. You get so focused on the details, the tracking, the hunt, that your mind starts ignoring dangers and situations that otherwise would never get past you.

[Tr****]

Honestly, if i start to go crazy like that, what i have found that helps is flexing my pelvic floor muscles over and over with my breathing and it will calm my mind down by giving me something to focus on but still keep me in the game, plus it's just good for you in general as an added bonus 👍

[he****]

Female sub here - I struggle to find the right DOM/DOMME to match my energy. The older I get the more hyper sexual I feel.

[ro****]

You need to sub that enjoys that but part of being a dom is being in control and show your sub whats the expected behavior

[Deleted Member]

I absolutely feel the same way. I feel I walk around hyper sexual most of the day. Some days it gets pretty depressing. As subheaven79 stated, I feel the older I get, the more intense it is. You are not alone, none of us are.

[he****]

1 hour ago, BSkittles78 said:

I absolutely feel the same way. I feel I walk around hyper sexual most of the day. Some days it gets pretty depressing. As subheaven79 stated, I feel the older I get, the more intense it is. You are not alone, none of us are.

I glad it's not just me. I feel like a randy ***ager atm but still gotta adult everyday. However I also what to make the most if it b4 I loose it completely xxxx

[XeBernie]

I want to emphasize what BigPolly said and it might seem pedantic, but there is a difference between things like being horny, easily aroused, continually thinking of or focused on sex, and being hypersexual.

Hypersexuality is a ICD11 diagnosis for which the sexual behaviors must have impacted your life negatively in a significant way.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_sexual_behaviour_disorder

This is something I live with daily. There are times where I have neglected work, family, food, etc. in order to engage in risky sexual behaviors. I have been unconcerned for my own safety.

I'm not judging whether someone is or is not hypersexual, just that I think that it's sometimes generalized to have a different less serious meaning.

[Vi****]

18 hours ago, BSkittles78 said:

I absolutely feel the same way. I feel I walk around hyper sexual most of the day. Some days it gets pretty depressing. As subheaven79 stated, I feel the older I get, the more intense it is. You are not alone, none of us are.

Facts

[Vi****]

I believe some of men suffer from Satyrasis.

[Ch****]

Glad to know I’m not the only one out here who fees this way. Being hyper sexual can feel so lonely at times

[Vi****]

11 hours ago, ChaoticGamer said:

Glad to know I’m not the only one out here who fees this way. Being hyper sexual can feel so lonely at times

🫡 welcome to the tribe 😁

[Deleted Member]

12 hours ago, ChaoticGamer said:

Glad to know I’m not the only one out here who fees this way. Being hyper sexual can feel so lonely at times

Yup, like ViktorParker said, “ Welcome “. I’m sure we can call on any of us for support when we feel down and alone. The community is here for any and all who deal with any sort of issues. Lord knows I reach out when I’m in need.

[BigPolly]

On 8/1/2023 at 11:25 PM, XeBernie said:

This is something I live with daily. There are times where I have neglected work, family, food, etc. in order to engage in risky sexual behaviors. I have been unconcerned for my own safety.

This is the other thing, despite endlessly putting myself in stupidly dangerous or *** situations, I’ve always been very lucky that nothing awful has happened to me.

Sometimes you’ll do anything to feed that addiction regardless of the risks & that’s shameful. It feels almost like ‘immature behaviour’ 

However the world would be boring if we were all the same & the world needs sexy debaucherous beasts like us 😊

[Vi****]

6 minutes ago, BigPolly said:

This is the other thing, despite endlessly putting myself in stupidly dangerous or *** situations, I’ve always been very lucky that nothing awful has happened to me.

Sometimes you’ll do anything to feed that addiction regardless of the risks & that’s shameful. It feels almost like ‘immature behaviour’ 

However the world would be boring if we were all the same & the world needs sexy debaucherous beasts like us 😊

Let the *** say Amen

[XeBernie]

1 hour ago, BigPolly said:

Sometimes you’ll do anything to feed that addiction regardless of the risks & that’s shameful. 

From my perspective, no, it's not shameful, nor should you feel that way. Those feelings come from your perception of how others might view your behavior. It can feel out if control and dangerous and those feelings feed right back into the situation making it worse.

One thing that has helped me immensely is sex positive cognitive behavioral therapy. I've learned to identify the underlying feelings that make me act out like this and deal with them directly rather than solving my problems with sex.  For me those feelings are powerlessness and being unwanted. It will trigger me every time to seek out sexual situations to make myself feel better, even if only for a very short time.

[BigPolly]

15 hours ago, XeBernie said:

One thing that has helped me immensely is sex positive cognitive behavioral therapy. I've learned to identify the underlying feelings that make me act out like this and deal with them directly rather than solving my problems with sex.  For me those feelings are powerlessness and being unwanted. It will trigger me every time to seek out sexual situations to make myself feel better, even if only for a very short time.

It’s amazing how different we all are despite this. Me seeking out sexual situations etc was often purely selfish to feed my own needs, it was never about needing to feel wanted.
Being wanted is lovely but I have a Neurodivergent brain so (much like the BDSM) I’ve always been this way, it’s just who I am & I’m ok with that.
Life’s one big adventure. Adventures are challenging & our choices are not always great but that’s what makes us amazing & creates memories 😊