Doms meeting Subs Needs

[Do****]

I think move on and find someone better for you. Don’t like the sound of how he’s treating you.

[Ba****]

3 hours ago, MrGuyLent said:

To be honest i guess you have caught a narcist … my advice; run away Girl before you are to caught up in his web of Manipulation

I just left my first dom for this very reason!!

[Ga****]

Personally I think silent treatment is unforgivable

[lo****]

I like this site. Iam a Dom of sorts but iam always up front reguardless if it's a one time thing or on going. Sounds to me like he is only worried about himself and is only looking out for himself. I just went through this not long ago it's kinda hard to communicate when your being shown to go away or do something different to me it's about what we can create together as a potential what ever iam in a open relationship and it works for us but we still have ground rules and if they where broken to me would be the same as cheating I guess drop him if he isn't willing to aleast come to the table with you and discuss things with you then he isn't going to be there for anything else sounds to me like he picked you on purpose so he could get what he wants don't waste your time what you want is just as important

[Ca****]

This legit happened to me. Then he broke up with me to "go work on" himself. That was after he lived off me for 3 months. Ignored my requests for monetary help, help around the house, discussions about his lack of aftercare, etc. Total manipulation. Girl, run as fast as you can.

[MasterDarcy1979]

He's selfish. He only wants to have his needs cared for, his desires met and his wants met.

A Dom who makes promises and breaks that promise is a massive red flag.

You should end it with him immediately. Usually I would say that you should discuss it with him, but there's a pattern here: he'll tell you what you want to hear. You'll satisfy him and then he'll go all Casper on you.

[iamelodin]

I was just talking to someone about this.

In my view, in all D/s relationships of any severity you are exchanging. The sub gains obligations and the Dom gains responsibilities and accountability.

Your service is supposed to get you your needs met in all instances.

[Ha****]

This is what many call a fake Dom but to me, he's still a Dom just not a decent one. He's uses the lifestyle to suit his needs and moves on when the Sun starts checking him. The lifestyle promotes such healthy treatment of each other but also it has exploitable areas for selfish people. Like how new Subs learn they are supposed to submit to their Doms making it easier to get gratification n continue to get gratification longer than he would in a traditional relationship. We try to band together, support, protect new people coming into the lifestyle from people like that n this one of the biggest draw to the life for me, the support, acceptance n understanding.

[Clarakink]

It sound like he might be married or in another relationship. If that's been made clear and you are happy with that, you might need to get used to it or move on.
This behaviour is certainly selfish and one sided.

[Deleted Member]

That's not a dom that's just someone using you it sounds. You can do better than that, I'd tell him you no longer want to be his sub. Get what you deserve x

[he****]

bail. if you don't feed your pets they run away. i think eve up there said it even better than me.

[ex****]

That’s not a Dom. That my friend is a user and manipulator.

[sh****]

If there asking you for *** it’s a scam think about it if you have ever gorn and seen a professional you pay them in person not in advance lol

[rj****]

U need to find a Dom that will make sure your taken care of

[XX****]

That's a manipulator and user. A real caring Dom always attends to the needs of his sub before his own.

[Ch****]

As a Dom, I follow a hierarchy in relationships.
1. SUB’s needs.
2. DOM’s needs.
3. DOM’s desires.
4. SUB’s desires.
.
Your pleasure does come last, his pleasure above it, BUT above all is your needs!
If this Dom cannot support your needs then maybe you need to look elsewhere.

[ca****]

A sub is actually Topping from bottom, they give their submission with consent which can be withdrawn at anytime.

As a Dom, I always put the needs and welfare of my sub first and aftercare is essential. My satisfaction is derived from the submission I’m granted and the appreciation of my actions.

Above all, the needs of both Dom and sub need to be met mutually, there is such a think as Domspace, just like there is subspace. If either party can’t recognise that then I would be apprehensive of progressing things further

[ey****]

 

 

5 minutes ago, cambridge198 said:

A sub is actually Topping from bottom,

No they're not.  There is a very big and clear difference between communicating wants/needs, setting boundaries/limits and having an open discussion - and 'topping from the bottom'

5 minutes ago, cambridge198 said:

 they give their submission with consent which can be withdrawn at anytime.

exactly the same is true of the Dominant.  

[Deleted Member]

Many members from previous posts mentioned this. You need to look at this from normal relationship view. In any form of relationships (friendships too), and females/males... silent treatment or disappearing = they don't really care. There's nothing that can be done if he/she doesn't care. The only choice we have is to decide "stay or go".

[Deleted Member]

There are a lot of red flags in this post. Being a switch I’ve experienced relationships as both Dom and sub. The early exchanges always help me decide how serious someone is and their attitude to a Ds relationship. From my perspective, it is incumbent on the Dom to ensure they understand the subs needs, boundaries, limits & desires, any Dom that doesn’t lead that way is always a massive red flag for me. 

[Aisnota]

August 4, Kmy419 said:

Unfortunately MANY narcissistic asshats use the title of "Dom" as an excuse to *** and degrade women, while others think it's their god given right to collect a harem of subs. If your dom is not fulfilling your needs then he is not holding up his end of the dynamic. There ARE doms out there who are monogamous and value the bond that can be built in a long-term relationship with just 1 sub. Unfortunately it sounds like yours isn't one of them. I would tell him VERY clearly how you feel and if he doesn't change his behavior move on and find one who will meet all your needs. Best of luck 🙂

To me being a good Dom and being monogamous are two completely different things! My ideal Dom would have a harem (of men, women and everyone else if I had my wishes :)!) but and would also respect my time, place, submission and treat me as a cherished part of it. Unless in play, being ignored without reason is a very ***ful practice that can open up childhood trauma and NO relationship has a place for it. So yes to harems -- no to assholes who ghost you!!

[Deleted Member]

@Aisnota..I never said doms couldn't be polygamous, but if a new sub is never going to have more than a part of you then they need to know right off the rip. If yours do then you were not the subject of the comment.

[Ch****]

Didn’t even need to read more than “silent treatment” to pop over and tell you to leave that situation, that is ***.