Why can’t subs initiate?

[Do****]

I like it when subs initiate.

[AZ****]

I love all these responses. I personally don’t have the confidence to initiate so good on you girly!!!

[sw****]

The lifestyle you seek is such a small niche , albeit becoming ever more popular thatbits almost impossible to find ..

[TheBookCollector]

Honestly, i have no problems.with submissives initiating a conversation, it shows they have a genuine interest in me.
.
Those that chide you for initiating should be avioded and blocked as until you accept them as being your dominant you are just two people chatting.

[Ya****]

I wish more subs would initiate tbh... It makes me feel less creepy and more like I'm offering something that we're both going to enjoy.

[dr****]

On these sites many "Doms" who initiate are abusive or aggressive (As I’ve seen from messages subs have received.) I don't initiate often as my messages are like to get lost in the crap. If a sub initiates, i know they have probably read my profile properly and have a genuine interest in my style of D/s. Even if their just exploring, I'll happily chat and provide advice.

[Deleted Member]

Don't be afraid to initiate.
I personally dislike it when people don't initiate contact first just because they are submissive types. It's extremely odd.

[Si****]

you did nothing wrong, tbh its just there’s a lot of “dommes” (usually with cashapp handle in their profiles) and they assume that because youre a sub its okay to treat you as less than human. I wish there were less of them but shit going mainstream is why we cant have nice things.

[TheBookCollector]

10 minutes ago, SitOnMyFacePlz916 said:

you did nothing wrong, tbh its just there’s a lot of “dommes” (usually with cashapp handle in their profiles) and they assume that because youre a sub its okay to treat you as less than human. I wish there were less of them but shit going mainstream is why we cant have nice things.

Lets be fair its not just cashapp/OF dommes there are a lot of 'dominant' men out there with fragile egos who think subs shoukd be doormats and not make any approach.

[Ky****]

if you've had that reaction in Chat its probably not because you were asking about Dommes, mostly when ppl get scolded its for treating Chat as a pick up place, a polite question asking if any currently on Chat are Dommes and may you PM them is usually accepted, a blatant any Fem Dommes message me won't be

[Si****]

40 minutes ago, TheBookCollector said:

Lets be fair its not just cashapp/OF dommes there are a lot of 'dominant' men out there with fragile egos who think subs shoukd be doormats and not make any approach.

Despite not having any experience pursuing those channels, I wouldnt be surprised to hear that at all or try to convince anyone the situation is otherwise.

[Rena-5651]

For everyone in this comment section, she had got told to not seek in the lobby chat by not only mods but by Dom's/dommes/subs/switches, it was a rule, placing a ad or looking for ads can help you talk with Dom's, or get to know them in lobby then take it to the dms.i understand your want to serve for a Dom, you can get to know them in lobby first without seeking then take it to the DMS if you so desire.

[Rena-5651]

Just now, Rena-5651 said:

For everyone in this comment section, she had got told to not seek in the lobby chat by not only mods but by Dom's/dommes/subs/switches, it was a rule, placing a ad or looking for ads can help you talk with Dom's, or get to know them in lobby then take it to the dms.i understand your want to serve for a Dom, you can get to know them in lobby first without seeking then take it to the DMS if you so desire.

Search*)

[TheBookCollector]

6 minutes ago, Kymi said:

if you've had that reaction in Chat its probably not because you were asking about Dommes, mostly when ppl get scolded its for treating Chat as a pick up place, a polite question asking if any currently on Chat are Dommes and may you PM them is usually accepted, a blatant any Fem Dommes message me won't be

I got the feeling from the op is was more about directly PMing a dom.

[TheBookCollector]

5 minutes ago, Rena-5651 said:

For everyone in this comment section, she had got told to not seek in the lobby chat by not only mods but by Dom's/dommes/subs/switches, it was a rule, placing a ad or looking for ads can help you talk with Dom's, or get to know them in lobby then take it to the dms.i understand your want to serve for a Dom, you can get to know them in lobby first without seeking then take it to the DMS if you so desire.

Thankyou for clarifying, as i said the op indicates she was being chided for direct approaches through PMs not chat

[Do****]

Subs should always approach the Domme 🤷🏻‍♀️

[An****]

I’m a Dom, and I’d love it if interested sub women contacted me! Change with the times, people!

[ey****]

subs can initiate contact

Dominants (including Dommes!) can initiate contact

anyone can initiate contact

of course - there's some people who don't believe that, these are not your people.  Contact someone and they're offended you made the first move, sack them off - they're not for you.

 

Mind - I'm talking only about DMs or in person - cruising in the chat is generally not permitted and annoying 

[Ky****]

I'm a sub, I initiate but only after very carefully reading their profile and do so in a respectful manner putting in proof that I've read their profile, I can't remember who said it but someone on here did, treat a message to a D or s for that matter as an introduction, would you go up to someone in person and say hi cane my arse? if not don't do it in messages on here, consider what you are going to say and spark their interest

[su****]

6 hours ago, TheBookCollector said:

Thankyou for clarifying, as i said the op indicates she was being chided for direct approaches through PMs not chat

It has been a mix of both. In the lobby I was unfamiliar with the rules and I had been in the wrong, though it has also occurred multiple times in pms.

[Rena-5651]

44 minutes ago, subbyandloving said:

It has been a mix of both. In the lobby I was unfamiliar with the rules and I had been in the wrong, though it has also occurred multiple times in pms.

For DMS, I think the best way to approach is saying something that you read off there profile and treat them like a normal person, most doms/dommes in particular want to get to know you before kink is involved.

[Deleted Member]

I believe those people were not doms hahahah
Wtf is wrong in initiating contact and a conversation?
Keep doing it, while making sure you read their profile, be polite and honest
If they start with shit, you know that they are a no go and get shitty people out of your life. Win-win

[Da****]

I really don't mind subs contacting me first at all. I'm a Dom, but I'm also not too full of myself.

[Ve****]

I think you’re talking to the wrong doms. You should absolutely be choosing your dom, not waiting to be chosen.

[ri****]

The "doms" don't know what it means to really be a Dom. It isn't as easy as picking an apple at the store. They don't realize they need to prove they are a good dom to earn the trust. Personally I think it's more exciting when the sub initiates, it shows their interest and allows things to begin smoother and easier. Always pick your Dom, it's your choice who you decide to "belong" too!