Why can’t subs initiate?

[Deleted Member]

You should be able to approach whoever you want, and if they scold you for it they are not worth your time or pleasure. Also there is a difference between a dom and an asshole.

[Deleted Member]

11 hours ago, Velicious said:

I think you’re talking to the wrong doms. You should absolutely be choosing your dom, not waiting to be chosen.

Well stated and I’m mostly in agreement.

[Deleted Member]

I’ll be happy to have my potential sub initiate the convo. Also, be okay with me starting things off.

[ph****]

subs can absolutely initiate. I’d prefer it. subs need, need, need to be capable of communication. A sub that is unable, or willing, to have meaningful discussions is problematic.
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The ability to initiate shows me that they are willing and able to speak up when they feel the need to.
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Good girls are dutiful, great girls are mindful.

[Th****]

Yes, it is normal for a sub to initiate.
No it is not normal for a Real Dom to react. Untill you give up your power to your chosen Dom, He has no right to scold you. 🚩

[na****]

By all means be pro-active. If you are scolded in such a way by a person who defines their role as a Dominant, they are undermining yours as a submissive. They perhaps have a misconception or ignorance in relation to the role of a submissive in terms of a successful power exchange. Of course at this stage, there are no definitive expectations or what you both seek from the dynamic.

Of course. Regardless of sex or gender. One’s strength, passion and intensity can be misconstrued quite easily. Be mindful. If you possess those expressive qualities and another’s reaction is dismissive of your personality and characteristics they are probably not for you and vice versa. Enabling your submission is a gift. So do not underestimate the cards you may hold for the right individual.

Do not water yourself down from 100% foolproof if another cannot accept you for who you are.

[Ki****]

You are only a Sub once you have given yourself to your Dom. Up until that point you are another human being seeking a compatible partner and any "Dom" who tries to "put you in your place" is out of line and one to stay away from. You have every right to contact whomever you wish.

[Deleted Member]

I think if a domme is getting upset over a sub being so forward, chances are they aren't secure enough and need to feel a sense of control. Which, obviously, is a super unhealthy attitude to have.

[Deleted Member]

Hi, friend. I experience the same thing with my Dom and not because he is insecure in any way, but as another member mentioned in the comments, once a sub dedicates him/herself to her Dom and enters into a dynamic, you belong to him/her. It is not always about a 'lack of confidence' or security nor is it all about him having 'control issues'. In my case, Sir sets limits on initiating interaction with another Dom for my protection because...there are those 'Doms' out there who will blatantly ignore any limitations my Dom has set and try to insert him/herself where your Dom stands, also as a member mentioned in previous comments. I've experienced this personally but I hold my kind Sir as my center as I am browsing and interacting so that I don't push his limits, therefore, getting myself into trouble 🤭. I do my best to remain mindful of his terms and rule over me. It's a process which requires patience and humility and I agree with the member who advised to 'Be mindful'. I, too, am still being corrected and I learn from his corrections. You got this 🙌🏾.