Exclusive

[NorseRhune]

Arrangements that are made should work for all.

[Ja****]

Well I assure you there are others out there that can offer what your looking for without the added playing around

[Ro****]

Tell him your feelings on the matter, one of the main factors of a successful D/s relationship is communication.
You have to remember, submission is a gift not an entitlement.
If you feel uncomfortable with any aspect then you must address it.

[Ch****]

Tell him exactly how you feel don’t hold back because in ANY D/s relationship communication with your partner is key

[dr****]

Tell him you can’t be exclusive with him if he’s f**king with either people. It’s either both exclusive or both allowed to see other people, simple.

[ba****]

If you’re not comfortable with that you should try talking to them about it in my opinion, open communication is generally the best for most situations. Honestly if you’re not looking for something exclusive and someone is, then it possibly isn’t meant to be, but talking about it with the person can really help clear the air

[Co****]

Hi there x
Im not experienced in this, but am concerned that you don't get your feelings hurt.
Its good hes open with you......he should have explained that at the start?
You need to chat more with him honestly ,about how you feel, and then be honest with yourself if you can really handle that??
Seems like he wants everything for him..........what about you?
You may have to say, Im sorry I cant do that xx

[Deleted Member]

You tell him that you don’t like that agreement. The lifestyle is always about communication. If he doesn’t want to agree to your terms as well then it won work cause you’ll be unhappy in the sexual relationship

[Go****]

I don’t see that as fair on you honestly, seems like a very selfish person and a player, be careful 😉

[QXX666]

You just started and unfortunately your first interaction is with someone who sound not really good!
If it’s your mentor then he shouldn’t ask you to be his sub. If he ask then you should have had a proper discussion about your Ds relationship. What kind of relationship, limits etc…
You might like him but it’s really start on a wrong situation.

[Go****]

Then the final decision is always up to you but could make you go through lots of suffering eventually…

[2E****]

Hey there Lilsquirt, just keep this one simple piece of lifestyle advice in mind okay?
It is the submissive who chooses their Dominant partner. Not the other way around.
A submissive is the one giving up Authority and Control of their sexual freedom, and at times other tyoes of freedoms as well. The one who is ultimately putting all their faith, trust and safety into the hands of someone else.
Before taking on a Dominant, any Dominant, pause to consider if they are genuinely putting what it is that is in your best interest first. Or is the person only looking to fulfill what the desire at your own expense?
You should simply sit down with this guy and have the most Honest and Open conversation about what it is that you both want, need and expect from the D/s relationship and to what degree exactly are the expectations of each other to be.
Even though you take on the role of submissive, it is ultimately your own choice. Submitting to of your own volition, of your own free will.

I hope that piece of lifestyle advice çan provide you any help at all babygirl.
Stay Safe.
Be Well.

Good luck.
Namaste 🙏

[Da****]

Being a sub, doesn’t mean you don’t have a voice. This is a relationship, and your needs, wants and desires are just as important. If you are really important to him then he will respect and honor that. And if he doesn’t then to be perfectly honest he’s just a dbag that wants to eat his cake, and have it too(proper way to say that). Only exception would be if the entire time he’s been letting you know he wants ENM, but if that’s the case then he’d have to extend that courtesy to you. So just be honest, and if he’s the dom you hope he is than it’s no worries, but if he’s not then at least u didn’t waste too much much

[An****]

You both have to have common understanding or it will never work

[le****]

Boundaries are only boundaries if you maintain them, otherwise they're just suggestions. This is one of those times to establish that. Sounds like he wants the perks of the relationship but not the responsibility. Gonna need to have a heart to heart about this one or risk compromising yourself and getting hurt.

[Deleted Member]

You don't like what he proposes because it's hypocritical. You have two options - accept his proposal or end things and seek another. Only you know what you find acceptable.

[To****]

If you feel pressure don't do it, always consensual or you could regret not being firm with your boundaries regardless how much you like him, he's not giving you his respect.

[DarkArts1066]

Hello Lilsquirt84..

So, it’s a bit of an unusual start, encouraging you to play with others, but be ‘exclusive’ to him. We don’t know the situation you are in, and it may well be that you have had several conversations prior to this one - or that you’ve known him for a while outside of your kink relationship, but I would start by asking him why he wants you to do this, and what you would BOTH be getting out of it ?. You need him to understand your objections - from your point of view.

It feels to me that he likes the more voyeuristic encounters perhaps (it’s quite a common fetish to want to watch your partner with another person, for many reasons) - but without any emotional attachments by you - with these other people.

Can I ask how long you have known this guy ?….

On the negative side, it may be that he wants you to indulge his fetishes and fantasies, but harbours a degree of jealousy - which is a Red Flag for me.
The journey into any kind of polyamory needs to be a mutually agreed thing - and by mutually agreed, I mean without any kind of pressure whatsoever from either side. Please do not be pressured into doing this for him, so that you stay together… have Frank and open discussions about your reasons for not wanting to do this, but listen to his reasons for wanting to at the same time - and hopefully you can find some kind of common ground.
If you can’t do that, then be prepared for one of you to walk away.

[Deleted Member]

If you wouldn't accept non monogamy in a vanilla relationship then you won't in a D/s one either . The submissive should never permit the Dom to completely erase their morals and personal conviction

[Ro****]

Dont be afraid to be firm with what you want and dont want before getting kinky with someone. Ultimately you need to trust this person with your health and safety in some potentially very scary or dangerous situations. You need to trust that when you say "red light" or whatever your word is, that things will stop and there wont be any hard feelings about it.

If he wants you to do *anything* you arent comfortable with tell him. If it's an issue, thank him for his time, and let him know you'll be looking for someone more suited to you. If he changes his convictions in the future, then you can talk again.

[ra****]

Agreed

[jo****]

Simple....if you don't like it, don't do it.

[Ha****]

You like what he's shown you so far except for that. What does your intuition tell you about him wanting a dynamic like this? I think it's a tell into other selfish n possibly insecure behavior. Tell him how you don't think that's fair n that for it to work it has to be made fair in 1 direction or the other if you are fine being exclusive as long as he is. This can lead to him just lying to agree n keep seeing other people though. Someone expresses this off the bat typically won't switch n agree to allow their partner to see other people too. I think you're setting yourself up for drama n trauma if you move forward with this guy

[Ho****]

No dynamic or D/s relationship exists until both parties agree on the ground rules and limits. As a sub, your power is in defining what your limits are and standing by them. If he insists, be willing to not proceed.

[ci****]

Always make sure you’re ready to assert your boundaries. If you ever feel powerless and you haven’t actually given up your leverage by choice then it’s perfectly okay to assert yourself.