Exclusive

[th****]

Huge red flag that he ever suggested this

[ch****]

A mentor usually don’t have intimacy with the apprentice. And also by no means just because someone asked you to be his/her sub do you have to accept

[OmahaTom]

I agree. Be true to yourself. You have a great deal to offer. If he wants you as his sub, he has to respect you and your limits…. I’d gladly talk w/ you more

[Ji****]

Damn, that's ballsy....dude wants an adoring harem not a family by the sound of it. I can respect people in happy, consensual polyamorous relationships but that just sounds straight up selfish if he's trying impose one way traffic on you that way. This benefits no one but him, especially if he's telling the others he's playing with the same thing.   

My response to this would be....yeah, no. D/s has nothing to do with it. If you were both happy with it, that's one thing. If you're not okay with that arrangement, you speak up. You put the breaks on. You don't back down. Just like, if he were doing something pleasurable for him, but genuinely hurtful to in you in play, you'd (hopefully) open up a discussion or just flat out stop the scene. Just to echo what other people are saying: being a sub doesn't mean being a 'yes' person. You have a right to open up a discussion about this. If he cares about you, he'll hear you out. 

[sn****]

Well if he wants you to be his exclusively then lay down the rules that you will but only if he has you as his only playmate.

[Mi****]

YOU are in control of your own person, only submit to someone that has earned your trust. if you want a monogamous relationship then that is a deal breaker.

[Ra****]

I don’t enjoy this either

[Th****]

I agree with @JinxieDjinx a true Dom makes decisions that benefit both the sub and the Dom and even further requests a subs participation, its part of a Doms job to push limit but not boundaries ultimately its on you babe

[re****]

Yeah that’s bullshit, do whatever you like and now what he tells you to do.

[odessa2]

It's rolls reversed I would say very simply that if we're going to have an open relationship it's open for both of us. If you want to open relationship or you don't want me to have an open relationship then there is no relationship.

[Th****]

I would recommend doing a lot more learning and education on your own, solo before entering any sort of exclusive or committed dynamic. 

[Cu****]

Say forget it and move on.

[Deleted Member]

All three make great points. Imma just going to say he a big red flag

[br****]

It's emotional ***. And he just wants to get away with it. He's not a real dom. Don't do it ❤️

[IA****]

Talk with him, and see if there’s a middle ground. Any intimate dynamic, even outside of BDSM, should be created via intensive communication and agreement. If you like him but neither of you are able to agree on the monogamy or lack thereof, the sad truth is that it’s better off you two find someone that can fit within your own expectations. It’s a big pond. There will be a juicier fish.

[Sw****]

Move on little one, he isn't for you.. if the relationship isn't mutual and it's not working for you and out of your limits please skip to the next Dom

[Mi****]

Forget get him. These relationships, especially DDlg, are founded in mutual respect. By what you describe, he has none. Not for you or the others.

[Ju****]

I’m in the same boat and no matter how I try to look at the situation, it’ll never really work. You’ll end up more and more unhappy and feeling unappreciated as time goes on! You’ll try and convince yourself that it doesn’t bother you that it does. It’s not really that you want to be with other ppl, you just don’t want him to WANT to be with other ppl. The lack of awareness of the emotions and feelings that stem from this situation from the dom will let you know that you better be looking out for yourself bc they aren’t.. Mental and emotional ***.

[Tr****]

If that's what he wants then kool, it's whatever and that's his decision to make. However, you also have a choice too, you can choose to say no, and you can choose to say yes and have other partners if you want anyway. You could go along with it until you're bored of it, and it's no longer worth the effort for you. I am saying the dude can have a preference and choice, whether others agree with it or not, without being written off as an ***r right out the gate. Go with what YOU want, but that red flag is present, so if you proceed with him, just pay attention to the signs and leave when necessary. If he is an ***r then he will be found out, and it will bite him in the ass eventually. Just be smart and be safe.

[Al****]

Nope if you are coming into this to explore for yourself. And both of you haven't agreed to exclusivity. It's time to go.

[st****]

15 hours ago, dragonbornjoy said:

I would just find another guy lol but you can always try to win him over for yourself, or just fr tell him that you really like him don’t like it that he wants you to be exclusive to him. Goodluck

Bet you a dollar for a dime, exclusivity is not the issue. She doesn’t want to share nor does she wish to be shared. Her concerns derive from a deep imbedded longing to belong.

[st****]

3 hours ago, JustWandering7 said:

I’m in the same boat and no matter how I try to look at the situation, it’ll never really work. You’ll end up more and more unhappy and feeling unappreciated as time goes on! You’ll try and convince yourself that it doesn’t bother you that it does. It’s not really that you want to be with other ppl, you just don’t want him to WANT to be with other ppl. The lack of awareness of the emotions and feelings that stem from this situation from the dom will let you know that you better be looking out for yourself bc they aren’t.. Mental and emotional ***.

If Dom's polyamorous endeavours does not make room for her appreciation, that is not an arrangement. Her will is as precious as the fantasies and desires that kink us. Consent, intent and content is what makes it tempting. Be happy, girl. Surely the union was formed to grow and evolve, to appreciate and be appreciated. Was it not?

[st****]

We should be mindful to share (knowledge) and not to *** (advice). To stay or to leave is solely for her to decide. Those who have a say in the matter, are none the wiser. A safe place should be judgement free!

One can only open the door to a new perspective. Not be a knight in shining armour to rescue someone else's princess. Seek, see, note and explore. The journey is yours, others (not your Doms) can only offer knowledge and experience. There is no one true sin or pleasure. Explore and evolve!

[Lo****]

tell him....

[fr****]

Well, I agree with @staticglitch on the point that we be mindful of the advices we give curious minds, otherwise we end up forcing our personalities onto them without really understanding their situation/desires. Let’s be neutral in dishing out advices rather than projecting our ***s/situation..
As for Op, my advice to you will be “do what makes you happy, not what makes you look good to people or what makes sense” because at the end, nothing really makes sense, there is no perfect dynamic and we are all still very much learning (even the most mastered ones like myself). At the end, we all just looking for our happy and peaceful place, nobody knows anything.. not a single person.. cheers..