Rh**** Posted September 22, 2023 Posted September 22, 2023 What's the point of dating then? Treat others how we want to be treated? Would you want to get cheated on, or just inconsiderate towards others feelings?
Th**** Posted September 23, 2023 Posted September 23, 2023 It doesn't make you weird at all... but, acting on it can cause harm to those involved and that's not ok. Having the desire to commit adultery isn't odd at all I'm sure a lot of people have fantasies of sleeping with someone else that is not their partner or sleeping with someone else's partner. I feel that in itself is normal. It's when you act on it and actually partake in cheating that is wrong. When that happens a lot of hurt and damage could happen and causing unwanted *** to someone else just to fulfill your own desires is makes you a piece of 💩.
ac**** Posted September 23, 2023 Posted September 23, 2023 Im busy during week and never alone, but when i am at home im always alone. Hate it but cant complain, its other loss if they dont wanna know some one genuine and funny. Its better to be alone thave lost some one who isnt genuine.
Er**** Posted September 23, 2023 Posted September 23, 2023 It's not okay. Stay single and mingle, but don't play with other people's hearts
Wi**** Posted November 6, 2023 Posted November 6, 2023 Many people are in the same situation, do what makes you happy.
Ba**** Posted November 6, 2023 Posted November 6, 2023 As a married suppressed dominant man who genuinely dearly loves his vanilla wife, the idea of committing adultery fills me with dread, self loathing and terrible guilt. And that is to simply be seriously considering the prospect of adultery. But that is also to ignore the drivers that lead to the door of adultery. Sexual incompatibility has been a massive roadblock in developing our relationship to any great depth. Yes, in a vanilla day-to-day we are really close, great friends who for the most part enjoy each others company. Vanilla sex is better than no sex, a vanilla relationship is better than no relationship. But it leaves both parties unfulfilled and neither benefiting from that deeper bond that I, the kinkster, can so ***fully see is missing, a bond previously enjoyed in earlier kinky relationships. A depth of bond she has no idea can exist. The kinkster definitely suffers in such a scenario. Until recently I thought I could continue to fake the vanilla side of my relationship with her, kid myself I’m coping. But 16 years together - no longer. I can’t kid myself anylonger, I can’t live the lie anymore. I crave that D/s dynamic back in my life. She can’t pretend to be submissive or indeed dominant. She doesn’t understand the dynamics nor has any interest in wanting to. Yes we’ve talked, no there is nothing she can do nor is prepared to do or change. If she’s not genuinely into it, neither am I anyway. No point her trying to fake it. With this point reached in my head, it’s either the end of the relationship or it’s adultery, almost certainly leading to an end of the relationship. Why not leave now then? Why even consider adultery? *** and the risk of damaging them, their education and phycological stability. Affordability. The unknown of what or who lies ahead. And then, perhaps the biggest question of all, do I really need kink over the loss of a lovely person very dear to me and the comfortable family life built with her? I’ve not yet got to adultery, not at a sexual level at least. I’m resisting that urge until I can clearly answer that last question. But crunch-time will likely come one day, perhaps even one day soon and when that day arrives, it will be a bitter/sweet whatever the decision made.
Deleted Member Posted November 6, 2023 Author Posted November 6, 2023 I feel it would depend on where things were in the marriage. When both partners know this is dead and they are staying together for their *** to have a stable home, for example, it's a different question from where one partner thinks everything is still hunky-dory.
Da**** Posted November 10, 2023 Posted November 10, 2023 Adultey in the since of truely hiding it from your partner and or lieing about I don't think is good. But I so understand why they do it. Especially after years of a sexless marriage. As a kink there are plenty of people into it just for the risk factor of it. Thats what turns them on.
Deleted Member Posted November 10, 2023 Author Posted November 10, 2023 Monday at 09:11 AM, BaronRidgeback said: As a married suppressed dominant man who genuinely dearly loves his vanilla wife, the idea of committing adultery fills me with dread, self loathing and terrible guilt. And that is to simply be seriously considering the prospect of adultery. But that is also to ignore the drivers that lead to the door of adultery. Sexual incompatibility has been a massive roadblock in developing our relationship to any great depth. Yes, in a vanilla day-to-day we are really close, great friends who for the most part enjoy each others company. Vanilla sex is better than no sex, a vanilla relationship is better than no relationship. But it leaves both parties unfulfilled and neither benefiting from that deeper bond that I, the kinkster, can so ***fully see is missing, a bond previously enjoyed in earlier kinky relationships. A depth of bond she has no idea can exist. The kinkster definitely suffers in such a scenario. Until recently I thought I could continue to fake the vanilla side of my relationship with her, kid myself I’m coping. But 16 years together - no longer. I can’t kid myself anylonger, I can’t live the lie anymore. I crave that D/s dynamic back in my life. She can’t pretend to be submissive or indeed dominant. She doesn’t understand the dynamics nor has any interest in wanting to. Yes we’ve talked, no there is nothing she can do nor is prepared to do or change. If she’s not genuinely into it, neither am I anyway. No point her trying to fake it. With this point reached in my head, it’s either the end of the relationship or it’s adultery, almost certainly leading to an end of the relationship. Why not leave now then? Why even consider adultery? *** and the risk of damaging them, their education and phycological stability. Affordability. The unknown of what or who lies ahead. And then, perhaps the biggest question of all, do I really need kink over the loss of a lovely person very dear to me and the comfortable family life built with her? I’ve not yet got to adultery, not at a sexual level at least. I’m resisting that urge until I can clearly answer that last question. But crunch-time will likely come one day, perhaps even one day soon and when that day arrives, it will be a bitter/sweet whatever the decision made. I am 57 mature restricted kinkster married vanilla once most my adult life *** take time and an authentic caring parents safety and education, I was inspiring by your blog questioning an unequally yoked marriage and adulty I too have been struggling through thank you for sharing
Deleted Member Posted November 12, 2023 Posted November 12, 2023 Monday at 11:11 AM, BaronRidgeback said: As a married suppressed dominant man who genuinely dearly loves his vanilla wife, the idea of committing adultery fills me with dread, self loathing and terrible guilt. And that is to simply be seriously considering the prospect of adultery. But that is also to ignore the drivers that lead to the door of adultery. Sexual incompatibility has been a massive roadblock in developing our relationship to any great depth. Yes, in a vanilla day-to-day we are really close, great friends who for the most part enjoy each others company. Vanilla sex is better than no sex, a vanilla relationship is better than no relationship. But it leaves both parties unfulfilled and neither benefiting from that deeper bond that I, the kinkster, can so ***fully see is missing, a bond previously enjoyed in earlier kinky relationships. A depth of bond she has no idea can exist. The kinkster definitely suffers in such a scenario. Until recently I thought I could continue to fake the vanilla side of my relationship with her, kid myself I’m coping. But 16 years together - no longer. I can’t kid myself anylonger, I can’t live the lie anymore. I crave that D/s dynamic back in my life. She can’t pretend to be submissive or indeed dominant. She doesn’t understand the dynamics nor has any interest in wanting to. Yes we’ve talked, no there is nothing she can do nor is prepared to do or change. If she’s not genuinely into it, neither am I anyway. No point her trying to fake it. With this point reached in my head, it’s either the end of the relationship or it’s adultery, almost certainly leading to an end of the relationship. Why not leave now then? Why even consider adultery? *** and the risk of damaging them, their education and phycological stability. Affordability. The unknown of what or who lies ahead. And then, perhaps the biggest question of all, do I really need kink over the loss of a lovely person very dear to me and the comfortable family life built with her? I’ve not yet got to adultery, not at a sexual level at least. I’m resisting that urge until I can clearly answer that last question. But crunch-time will likely come one day, perhaps even one day soon and when that day arrives, it will be a bitter/sweet whatever the decision made. This is spot on. There’s so many different things to think about. I’ve been in a very open healthy relationship for over a decade. Our dynamic takes work. I won’t lie though there have been moments where even with open relationships I’ve seen us both slip and test the boundaries and rules. On the outside I don’t find it more exciting to play with married men. If I’m told the truth and know there is a marriage we stake I do take the time to figure out how dead the marriage is and a couple times I felt like with younger folks they needed to work harder and I would be a distraction. In another instance much like the one from Baron, the marriage is dead and both parties agree to stick to it for the benefit of *** / finances / etc. And the grass isn’t always greener - once the new relationship energy wears off and we get into routines who’s to say the other person will also become mundane and not as exciting.
MasterDarcy1979 Posted November 13, 2023 Posted November 13, 2023 No. Not for me. I'm monogamous and my conscience would get to me if I slept with a woman who had either a boyfriend or a husband. A married submissive recently initiated contact with me and wanted to get to know me better, with potential of progression. I declined. But not before imparting some wisdom onto her. She was very new to BDSM so I felt it my obligation to mentor her a wee bit.
pe**** Posted November 13, 2023 Posted November 13, 2023 I did like being the mistress. Am I proud of it, no. He pursued me. I did not pursue him. I also never wanted to be exclusive in a relationship with him. I liked being that part of his private life. He was my 1st Dominant.
Deleted Member Posted November 14, 2023 Author Posted November 14, 2023 Here's the thing if the boundaries are set it is ironically not adultery. It's cuck but still valid "adultery". role-playing scenarios are a great opportunity
Sl**** Posted November 14, 2023 Posted November 14, 2023 Personally I've never cheated but I've had taken women approach me for fun. I've always been turned of by the idea before and said no. Morally I'm still the same person but I've recently had a fee more married women contact me, and in all honesty, as horrible as I think it is, it is becoming quite a turn on. The thought of somebody finding you attractive enough to risk it all is intoxicating to a point.
Ra**** Posted November 14, 2023 Posted November 14, 2023 It's not cheating if your significant other knows, or shares in the experience with you. Which if you love them you should have told them about your fantasies and have them be a part of it. If they don't want to or dislike the idea this is where you can become either an a**hole or a b*tch. That line is only for you to make as your significant other has drawn their line for you to see. Now personally, I feel that giving someone else pleasure is not cheating. However if I am receiving pleasure especially to an orgasm yes that is cheating as I feel my orgasms are meant for her only (my wife that is).
Pr**** Posted December 17, 2023 Posted December 17, 2023 I tell him what I’m going to do I told him d him no more lies I love him wanna be with him but I also like to do my own thing neg and would love for him to do it with me but he won’t only on his terms
Kirri Posted February 1 Posted February 1 I don't understand how a cheating kink would ever work in a relationship? I find loyalty is a make or break for me. I'm incredibly loyal and I don't understand why people find cheating attractive. Maybe could understand it if the person had a kink about being cheated on...maybe....like a degrading thing. But to get off on hurting another person by cheating on them. I get the power of it. But I think its awful. One of the worst things you could do to someone. It damages them so much. Trust is also really important in bdsm relationships too.
ve**** Posted July 29 Posted July 29 I would never want to emotionally cheat, but when she’s no longer interested in sex more often than once or twice a year then what’s the option? Divorce just so I can have a physical relationship or stay together and have to forego physical pleasure? 🤷♂️
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