DIGITAL FETISHES: THE ROLE OF SOCIAL MEDIA

[br****]

How do you perceive the influence of social media on our fetish experiences today?📱

Has social media heightened your exploration of fetishes or introduced new dynamics?

Share your insights and stories – let's discuss! 🤓

[Deleted Member]

It’s definitely made it more comfortable with some fetishes that others might see as taboo. I used to he insecure about what turned me on.

[FreddieJobbs]

I think has been quite welcoming so far. Not every fetish I’m into is translated well in social media only just a couple. For instance, there was a nail technician that was inspired by one of the photos that belonged to the now defunct website “Only Our Nails” which was a website dedicated to people who had nail fetishes. I don’t think she has a nail fetish but she was inspired by the style of the nails. That photo is what inspired her to run her own nail salon and she even used the word “fetish” for the name of her nail salon. I don’t know how big she has gotten per-say but all I know her pictures have reached Pinterest (which she doesn’t have an account on there), Twitter, and Instagram. Her clients are mostly of African American descent because her styles were also influenced by the African American styles of nails in the past particularly 90s ghetto styles.

Another fetish I spotted on social media that I’m into was kitten heels. Not much on this other than maybe a few instagram accounts mostly run by young females who are well in shape and cater their pictures to people with heel fetishes.

[ik****]

Welp I meet alot of women that watch fifty shades a grey and end up, confused as to why they’re tied up with a toy in their butt lol 😂

[PrayforMojo]

No difference, wait second thought social media made things worse.

Can't connect with anyone and now it seems most people just use social media just for personal validation.

I feel more now than before people don't want to talk, especially in person.

Try and randomly talk to somebody at the store, and see if you are not seen as some nut job.

[wh****]

On the surface level it normalizes kink to the masses in general but doesn’t uphold the safe sane consensual practices of our community. Kinda scary actually.

[Do****]

Yeah, for sure! The social medias know exactly what we want to see, and, show you related content, that, in most of the cases, bring new experiences, you can ask why, and I will say: irlf they show you only what you like, they will be contentless, and will never know more about you! Social media, is a god of self knowledge, that can save us or ruin us!

[Deleted Member]

The amount of information and views/opinions available is both the biggest pro and a very big con of kinky social media.

Though lots of information is available out there, I feel like I got a much better understanding of various kinks and the world of kink in general by reading what others have posted on sites like this and FetLife. What people are into, why they're into it, how they practice their kinks, etc.

But at the same time, when I started looking more into the kink community rather than simply reading blogs/articles and watching videos, I felt like hitting a huge wall of ideas and expectations concerning who was "allowed" to carry the badge of being kinky. While I found lots of useful information, I also felt like kink wasn't for me, because I was faced with the idea that you had to be able to place yourself clearly into one of the dom/switch/sub categories (which as a newbie coming from the vanilla life, can be very confusing) and the idea that if you weren't on the hardcore end of the kink spectrum, you weren't actually kinky and didn't belong.
It has definitely gotten a lot better since I started my kinky journey, but I still see such ideas now and then (not as infrequently as I'd like).

So like all kinds of social media, there are pros and cons. Ease of access to information, help and guidance at the cost of people being able to throw their unfiltered problematic views out there.

Another con of social media is the development of echo chambers. I haven't seen much of that behaviour here, but on other kink sites there is a tendency for zero tolerance towards any degree of skepticism or attempts at discussion or constructive feedback. I think this is the biggest con of any social media - kinky or not. People find their own safe bubble, and they become overly protective of that safe dreamland environment where they can escape from the real world, and when they feel that their safe space is threatened, they can get really nasty.

[Pi****]

Turns the whole thing into a effing video game experience. Then these *** want you to spend hours texting them for free. I’m not a paid domme. I’m not a prostitute, I’m not a professional and I’m not a damn video game. It’s the lies that kill me. If that’s all you want man up, find a professional and pay for it!

[ki****]

Made us alot more comfortable..

[Ku****]

I would say it’s made our lifestyle more popular and more accepted BUT it’s also made it where the fakes can prey on new and more inexperienced people believe that a “Top, Dom, or Master” can do whatever they want to a sub, slave, or little and get away with it and believe that is what our lifestyle is about.

[Deleted Member]

It made all the straight girls lie for competitive advantage. I'm looking for a bisexual woman not a fricken lying young woman who's only after a man to think she's sexy for being faux bi.

[Mr****]

No room for any lies in life, ***s are the reason why us hunans lie. But Fet life is not the place to be fake, kik or something like that is a good place for that

[Deleted Member]

It made dating in the lifestyle nigh impossible by providing a platform for predatory greedy "pros" to take over the entire space, leaving only a minority of already-partnered non-mono women and many many unhappy singles.

[Tr****]

I can see it as a double edged sword, but out of anything, at least for me personally, it gave me answers. It gave me access to information and what to identify to understand myself. I had nobody to help me or educate me so for me personally i am very thankful for it.

[Deleted Member]

It's difficult, anything that can bring like minded people together is a great thing, but it is also a challenge, because what is socially acceptable and unacceptable hasn't really changed, which means the public nature of most social media only brings a certain type of person with certain types of kinks which can be expressed relatively freely. People in the mainstream will talk about 50 Shades of Grey being a good thing, while mocking Quentin Tarantino for his publicly known interests.

It's also been a magnet for the sort of person who wants to exploit others, and there's a whole psychology in that which touches on lack of acceptance, gender dynamics etc, which means anyone with a £50 camera taking photos of their feet can be a Findom, and how that bleeds in to less open communities, such as this one.

And I think that leads to the crux of the issue, negative actors Vs anonymity on social media, and I feel like kink communities are strongly negativity effected by both sides of that balance. A lot of people want to remain anonymous for genuine reasons, but so do negative actors. But they are also looking for a lack of anonymity in the people they exploit, which, on top of what I've mentioned about acceptable and unacceptable kinks in wider society, I think ultimately creates a lot less trust and more uncertainty.

[ey****]

for the vast majority of us, the internet has massively influenced what we know as kink - whether we're aware of this, or not.   

and while the old forums of the late 80s and early 90s are gone and things are a bit more 'social media' these days, a lot of the context remains the same - that... it's all ways we are exposed to ideas and learning we might not have had so easy access to 40+ years ago

But, I guess the flip is that now this is stuff available to everyone and while this makes things more accessible, it can also be something which attracts people who aren't always suitable

I've found social media has been very good for me to build passive connections.  Instead of me going "Hey, you, wanna play/date/whatever" after scouring profiles, I'm building up rapport and interacting with people over a period of time so that it then makes sense to do *something* 

Like everything it's a tool.  If you try to bang in a nail with a spade and dig a hole with a hammer, it's no good complaining you don't get the results you want. 

[Marcuschasey]

Everything has completely memorized me sexually and now I'm f**ked. It's either be gay, be a girl, or be sad and alone

[An****]

21 hours ago, ikingnj said:

Welp I meet alot of women that watch fifty shades a grey and end up, confused as to why they’re tied up with a toy in their butt lol 😂

This made me laugh hard.

[Pi****]

12 hours ago, Marcuschasey said:

Everything has completely memorized me sexually and now I'm f**ked. It's either be gay, be a girl, or be sad and alone

Wait… why?

[Fe****]

It makes finding kinkier women easier, and more likely to talk face to face. It provides a good opportunity to discuss each other's interests and limitations. I find it easier to be more open and honest about the things that interest me, plus I like hearing a woman talk about hers. But sometimes I find the social media influence a hindrance since women always have men chasing them. I think they desire the attention but get 100 different options a day. That makes it hard for a woman to focus on or be homest to one man.

[S-****]

Well I have always had many fetishes but felt a bit weird about them… social media has helped me to be more comfortable with them as I come across persons with the same fetishes.