Va**** Posted October 24, 2023 Posted October 24, 2023 Not sure how I feel about levels of safe words. Giving up control is just that. Having levels of getting out - is not - and let’s hope we don’t ever confuse the two, thinking red is yellow. I’m going to let this hang and defer to other opinions sure to follow. Like I said, not sure.
Desbop6 Posted October 24, 2023 Posted October 24, 2023 To reiterate what everyone else said, you did the right thing. When you start ignoring safe words, it not only eliminates trust, but can get dam right dangerous.
ny**** Posted October 24, 2023 Posted October 24, 2023 2 hours ago, VanIsleBorn said: Not sure how I feel about levels of safe words. Giving up control is just that. Having levels of getting out - is not - and let’s hope we don’t ever confuse the two, thinking red is yellow. I’m going to let this hang and defer to other opinions sure to follow. Like I said, not sure. Do you confuse red lights? Unless you struggle with senility, there is absolutely no way possible to confuse the two. And respectfully, a sub giving up control does not make you God. They’re entitled to hard limits and their consent is revokable at any time. Giving up control doesn’t mean they can’t take it back at any time they choose. That’s the meaning of consent. Graded safe words provide a means by which they can communicate concerns and discomfort without bringing a scene to a complete halt. But more importantly it gives them a measure of safety because too many subs are afraid to displease their Dom and consent to acts against their will because they *** their Dom will be angry if they ever uttered a safe word. They are especially helpful in the beginnings of a dynamic when a Dom is 100% clueless about their limits; thereby, helping a Dom learn a subs limits without the sub being completely petrified.
Va**** Posted October 26, 2023 Posted October 26, 2023 Too much to address here…. an angry Dom? Agreed that many are clueless about PEX, but if you have trouble controlling your emotions, then a D doesn’t belong anywhere in your moniker. Letting go is letting go. Hanging on is hanging on. How many steps to getting out that skydive door does one really need? Petrified subs ? I can’t even go there. Inconceivable. I’m curious as to how many think this genre actually lives in the physical realm, and how many truly know otherwise.
Chloebear Posted October 27, 2023 Posted October 27, 2023 You did the right thing. He broke consent. He essentially continued past you saying no - you know what that means…. And he will do it again. Heal and move on, find someone who respects you and your limits xx
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