Sub Gone Dom

[Ve****]

I have lived a very submissive life, even to a level not many know, until recently. I recognize there’s been dominant men in my life either got angry with me or end up subbing to me. And I am pursued relentlessly by a number of submissive men who beg me to dominate them. I feel a little confused as I suddenly no longer desire to sub at all, yet am in 2 relationships where I am supposed to be the sub. I’ve been told I’m dom, and I am realizing just how much this is true. I wish I had an experienced female dom or 2 to chat with as I figure myself out and flush out this new very dominant side of myself. Is this a typical progression? Am I simply a switch?

[Do****]

Happy to chat with you, but I haven’t experience as a sub. I do think women can become more confident and possibly dominant in their 40s naturally however.

[Mi****]

I personally think it’s being a switch, like me. I turned to dominating in one relationship as a result of being submissive and also ***d in a previous relationship, but I actually prefer or have a strong need to be submissive to balance out my life. But I do hope some more reach out to you, as one opinion does not always verify things for you. What is your tendancy as a sub, to brat perhaps?

[Do****]

Maybe we needs a chat room just for Dommes?

[ge****]

Whilst it's not a typical progression as such - it's certainly a progression some go through as their explorations of this world expand and evolve and they come to find themselves.
.
Some people are inherently submissive or dominant, whereas some sit in the middle and waver from side to side based on their own initial perceptions of who they are or what they desire until they find a place they are comfortable with, and I guess you probably fit into this last category.
.
It could even be that yes you are simply a switch who has a place on both sides of the slash and that place may be defined by you, or those you interact with.
.
Personally I think we all have a dominant and submissive side in life generally - whilst I'm inherently submissive in this life, there are people in general life who I feel naturally submissive to, and others who I feel naturally dominant towards and that's dictated by circumstance, character and more besides.
.
Ultimately though only you can know what you feel and what you desire, and that typically comes from within.
.
It may also depend who is telling you you're dom? If it's random on here, then I'd pay it little heed, if it's more generally then perhaps it's food for thought, but again there's a difference between being dom, or in control of your life in general and being *a* Domme in terms of this life.

[St****]

I can relate to this so much.
Honestly thinking about leaving the site because I'm asked to Dom by most men.
I'm not even here for men lol.
Good luck to you!

[sl****]

Im always the dom, and I've been feeling strange cause I wanna try subbing

[Ve****]

37 minutes ago, Mianni said:

I personally think it’s being a switch, like me. I turned to dominating in one relationship as a result of being submissive and also ***d in a previous relationship, but I actually prefer or have a strong need to be submissive to balance out my life. But I do hope some more reach out to you, as one opinion does not always verify things for you. What is your tendancy as a sub, to brat perhaps?

Thank you for responding. I’m changing. There’s been a progression away from the very meek, obedient sub over the past year. There were times I thought I was being sub or bratty, but I was actually being dominant and didn’t realize it. I’m at the point where, when discussing dynamics with a dom man, I’m thinking there’s no way I’m going to let this fool dom me. Except for one man I’m in a ld relationship with. There’s something about him that makes me want to submit. In my other relationship I had to discuss with him the fact that I’ve been such a bad sub. He doesn’t mind.

[Ve****]

50 minutes ago, DommeDelight said:

Happy to chat with you, but I haven’t experience as a sub. I do think women can become more confident and possibly dominant in their 40s naturally however.

This. Yes. I’m recently divorced and have def stepped into my power personally, spiritually, and more. Feeling powerful is so new and wonderful. I’m not sure what to do with it sexually.

[Do****]

19 minutes ago, Velicious said:

This. Yes. I’m recently divorced and have def stepped into my power personally, spiritually, and more. Feeling powerful is so new and wonderful. I’m not sure what to do with it sexually.

Absolutely. Divorce does that. It’s a hell of a shock at first and then you grow. I’m six years divorced and 49 now. I’ve never been stronger!

[Ki****]

I can relate to this too. I came in here on Fetish.com. I was a Dominant and I stayed dominant for about a year and two months when I started to realize that really I was a submissive and so reluctantly, I switched over to be a sub I’m so much happier now, and when I was dominant because I felt like I was faking it when I was being a dumb but I really wasn’t faking it because I am very aggressive person. Anyways they say I am a switch it was several people have told me so maybe that’s what you are. You can play both rules. Well whatever so long as you’re happy, that’s all that counts.

[sl****]

Hmn

[sl****]

Being Dom and want to sub is so strange for me.

[Ni****]

You could very well be a switch, I personally prefer a woman lead as far as the everyday relationship goes and like our life but I am entirely dominant sexually and have fairly recently come to terms with the fact I'm in some form a switch myself but maybe it's a natural progression for you with some men

[Ve****]

45 minutes ago, sleeplessinNY said:

Being Dom and want to sub is so strange for me.

To be honest I’m struggling. We entered the relationship with the d/s dynamic inn mind, because that’s what unthought I was (sub). Over time he’s pointed out that I’m def a domme. Which surprised me, intrigued me and delighted me. I’ve been a very bad sub lately. I want to dom but most of the sub men i have talked to are aggressive and overwhelming. I hate the pleading. I want to dom a man. Not cry baby boy.

[Di****]

Ah yeah everyone has this split personality relentlessly we have to find the best n enjoy the more well I'm Dom so dirty Dom I have given satisfaction to many who was with me they said I am wild beast n so dirty 🥵🥛

[sl****]

12 minutes ago, Velicious said:

To be honest I’m struggling. We entered the relationship with the d/s dynamic inn mind, because that’s what unthought I was (sub). Over time he’s pointed out that I’m def a domme. Which surprised me, intrigued me and delighted me. I’ve been a very bad sub lately. I want to dom but most of the sub men i have talked to are aggressive and overwhelming. I hate the pleading. I want to dom a man. Not cry baby boy.

I understand. I want to have a woman I can be Dom and sub with. I like being Dom, but I also wanna be released from the control element. I want a woman who can take control. A lot of women aren't Dom. I wanna try stuff like pegging and can't find the right girl

[Do****]

15 minutes ago, Velicious said:

To be honest I’m struggling. We entered the relationship with the d/s dynamic inn mind, because that’s what unthought I was (sub). Over time he’s pointed out that I’m def a domme. Which surprised me, intrigued me and delighted me. I’ve been a very bad sub lately. I want to dom but most of the sub men i have talked to are aggressive and overwhelming. I hate the pleading. I want to dom a man. Not cry baby boy.

There are many types of male sub. You need to know what kind of Domme you want to be, and what kind of sub you want. Try to outline this in your profile. Once you have a Domme profile the subs will contact you, and you can chat with them to find who vibes in the way you want them to.

[Pe****]

I started off as a sub in the lifestyle and really thought I knew my place as a sub. I always had an itch in the background though and then started to speak to male submissive.
It went from there really and I’ve been a Domme for coming on 2 years now and I really feel comfortable. I don’t feel the need or want to submit for the foreseeable future. But who knows. It does happen.
Here for chats or questions ☺️

[Pe****]

3 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Whilst it's not a typical progression as such - it's certainly a progression some go through as their explorations of this world expand and evolve and they come to find themselves.
.
Some people are inherently submissive or dominant, whereas some sit in the middle and waver from side to side based on their own initial perceptions of who they are or what they desire until they find a place they are comfortable with, and I guess you probably fit into this last category.
.
It could even be that yes you are simply a switch who has a place on both sides of the slash and that place may be defined by you, or those you interact with.
.
Personally I think we all have a dominant and submissive side in life generally - whilst I'm inherently submissive in this life, there are people in general life who I feel naturally submissive to, and others who I feel naturally dominant towards and that's dictated by circumstance, character and more besides.
.
Ultimately though only you can know what you feel and what you desire, and that typically comes from within.
.
It may also depend who is telling you you're dom? If it's random on here, then I'd pay it little heed, if it's more generally then perhaps it's food for thought, but again there's a difference between being dom, or in control of your life in general and being *a* Domme in terms of this life.

Always says what I’m trying to but can’t find the words😂😘😘

[Pi****]

There’s more to kink than being a domme or a sub.

[Se****]

I wonder if sometimes it would be easier not to try to label oneself.

I understand that it’s difficult in terms of your profile and who contacts you. However, it would leave your options open for you to engage however feels most comfortable with the people you speak with without there being a need to “perform” in one specific way.

It could be that you fluctuate dependent on the qualities of the other person. It could be that you’re realising a new version of yourself you weren’t previously aware of.

Personally, if it were me, I’d try (and probably fail but that’s just me) not to overanalyse it and just go with what feels good and right between you and the person you’re with.

Also (although it doesn’t sound like this was the case here), don’t let someone else tell you who or what you are or that your actions etc are inherently submissive or dominant. Quite simply, everyone views these things differently and what one person believes makes you one thing might not be interpreted the same by someone else - you do you.

X

[Di****]

Yes princess kinky 😘😘

[br****]

I sometimes feel the same way however serving others gives me the most pleasure. There are times when being on the dominant side of the exchange would be beneficial however that doesn’t fit my personality. I have thought about being a daddy because that role doesn’t necessarily require me to be as dominant as like being a master. Maybe I’m just complicating things too much.

[Deleted Member]

Kink is all in all a generalization of the ways people express love (usually). If you feel an urge for being dominant, great, but it should be with the person you are interested in and not just for whatever.