Sasaru Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 I’m into BDSM but my wife isn’t she confronted me that she was into it but she’s into the kink not the full time lifestyle wether it be in the bedroom or full time and ever since I got into this lifestyle I’ve been hooked and can’t seem to live a different lifestyle not vanilla lifestyle or the norm I want to be in it but I can’t *** my wife in something she’s not comfortable with how do I go about this
ey**** Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 as you rightfully say, you can't *** your wife to do something she's not into I think a question is what is it that you don't do within your relationship that you would like to - because it may be there can be assorted things brought in that works for both of you. While this doesn't overall improve your position, remember there's probably hundred of people would kill for a position like you are in. It's best to work with what you have than fawn over what you do not have.
Sasaru Posted August 17, 2019 Author Posted August 17, 2019 Well we're both into this lifestyle but she's not sure if she would want to commit to it she's asked me if I was sure I said of course I am I did my research and did everything that's about this lifestyle the pros and cons what we like and dislike what we are willing to do and not do but for one reason or another she seems uncertain about it we discussed this topic before we got married this year in June and the topic was discussed well over a year now
Wo**** Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 Keep talking and communicating. Discuss the possibilities. Could you perhaps set aside certain times to play? See how you both feel. Is it something you could introduce into your everyday life? Or maybe play partners? Ultimately, just be honest, listen to each other and talk it over.
Sasaru Posted August 17, 2019 Author Posted August 17, 2019 I have talked and communicated and it's difficult to set a time to play when she's always on her schedule and such not always in the mood and whenever I'm in the mood she's not and when she's in the mood I'm not it's always in inconvenient times and during the week I work nights from afternoon to almost midnight and after hours is usually when I like to play but I like to be full time dominant
ey**** Posted August 17, 2019 Posted August 17, 2019 it sounds like you really need to discuss to arrange some time together - obviously that there's times when she is in the mood and you are not - that you can understand this is just a co-ordination issue this is the type of thing where a few days away that can be set for time can work - potentially even booking out a dungeon premise,
Sasaru Posted August 18, 2019 Author Posted August 18, 2019 Perhaps but some days I'm lucky to find the right time and coordinate our schedules and set a time for playtime
ey**** Posted August 18, 2019 Posted August 18, 2019 you definitely need to look at a time management - among anything else if you want any form of "full time" relationship then there may well need to be time and structure added in. I'd definitely look at sorting out managing your own time together first.
ey**** Posted August 19, 2019 Posted August 19, 2019 that I don't know because I don't know what your commitments are. But certainly you need to make sure there's time each week spent together whether this involves kink or not. If time really does seem a challenge, then trying to book a weekend away for just the two of you might be a good start.
Sasaru Posted August 19, 2019 Author Posted August 19, 2019 I would if I can do that she works weekends for now and doesn't get home till very late and when she does come home we end up going to her mom's for dinners and even that is fine but sometimes it gets frustrating that when I want to cook for her. Her mom has already made plans for dinner and we have to join them granted I don't mind it at all but when we finally get home she's too tired for anything and that is very frustrating to me I can't even set a day or time for us at all it's soo annoying
Deleted Member Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 On 8/17/2019 at 3:04 PM, Sasaru said: I have talked and communicated and it's difficult to set a time to play when she's always on her schedule and such not always in the mood and whenever I'm in the mood she's not and when she's in the mood I'm not it's always in inconvenient times and during the week I work nights from afternoon to almost midnight and after hours is usually when I like to play but I like to be full time dominant My husband and I were in the same position but most of the time my husband would start off with a massage and then I was completely his. I told my husband I wanted to go fulltime but the more I thought about it. Giving up complete control is really foreign to me maybe it is for her too? We have planned "date" days as we call them sometimes it doesn't lead to sex or scenes but some form of intimacy is there Get her to go to a munch or get her to come on here maybe it would help her to talk to someone about BDSM But I agree with black sheep focus on what you can do together
Deleted Member Posted August 20, 2019 Posted August 20, 2019 On 8/18/2019 at 8:50 PM, Sasaru said: How do I do that There are time management sheets online you can get
Sasaru Posted August 20, 2019 Author Posted August 20, 2019 Ok and it is difficult to set up a time to play but everytime I do something always comes up and and we never get a chance to play and I get really frustrated
Recommended Posts