Is there possibility to stay in monogamous BDSM relationship?

[Ba****]

I’m fairly new here, so there is still much for me to learn and pick up on, I’m sure. But don’t get me wrong, I’ve lived life and had my own kinky streak burning within ever since my 1st girlfriend lit it far too many years ago!

What I can comment on is my initial “take” of this site and the community within that I have read or in one or two instances began a contact with. I can (so far) happily report that all have been very open minded and non judgemental. Yes, there will be personal views on poly v monog as there will be on gender, specific kinks etc. but ultimately your view does appear to be respected here, certainly more-so than in a vanilla world. You should of course (and I am sure you do) respect theirs.

Everyone has their own sexuality, ingrained or chosen ethics, life choices, friend and family influences, circumstances, conscience, emotions, to manage/deal with. That list of factors is almost endless. The mix of factors can and does gradually change for everyone. Consequently, you and what is important to you will change. Occasionally, that can be quite sudden. The Fetish community by my reckoning is the most able in society to accommodate differing views, perspectives and persuasion’s.

Because you are here on a fetish site suggests you have an open mind and looking to engage with people more likely to share your own non-vanilla urges and personal requirements. You will find a playground of choice here, not all to your taste, but, so far my limited experience of this particular site has been good. Just don’t completely drop your guard, things do change!

[Si****]

Very possible

[Pe****]

This community is for everyone. It matters not whether you are monogamous or polyamorous. It’s all personal preference.

[Deleted Member]

22 hours ago, MinnesotaMinx said:

Enjoying kink and/or BDSM is a completely separate thing from whether or not you are monogamous or non-monogamous. Many kinksters are in happy, healthy monogamous relationships. And there are people non-monogamous relationships who build families. And there are non-monogamous people who are not kinky.

What you say is true, but it appears to me that the proportion of non-monogamous people is much higher among “kinky” people than among “vanilla” people.

[ey****]

1 hour ago, hedonio said:

What you say is true, but it appears to me that the proportion of non-monogamous people is much higher among “kinky” people than among “vanilla” people.

I don't think it's so much the proportion. Moreso... the openness.

and it skews things a bit.  because... in vanilla circles we make a lot of assumptions about people's relationships because those who are any shade of non-mono often find it easier to go along with people assuming they're mono then trying to explain their dynamics 

[OmahaTom]

I have that same interest in finding one partner to share my life with totally.

[Pi****]

I am looking for a partner to be monogamous to me.

[UrMomsTheBomb]

I have been in a monogamous marriage for 11 years successfully and raised a family while enjoying our BDSM with just one another

[Deleted Member]

I wouldn't say being into bdsm has made me more inclined to have multiple partners instead of just sticking to one, in fact the opposite is true as my kinks are pretty extreme and therefore I need to build up a massive amount of trust with someone before I play. Of course there are all sorts of people amongst the bdsm community and many are poly or playing with multiple people but this happens also amongst more vanilla people, I think the only difference is that people in the kink community are more open to talk about it so it looks like we do it more? Just my thoughts, happy to be corrected if wrong.  

[bu****]

I think mono dbsm relationships have to be the most beautiful relationships out there. If you can find that person where most of your kinks line up and you're both incredibly happy then, ugh 😍. I think poly/open are so prevalent because a lot of people have kinks that involve multiple people. It's hard to have a gang bang with one Daddy, ya know. 

[ma****]

Yes, it's very possible to stay in monogamous BDSM relationship.

I'm a family oriented person and I need that in my life, but I also need this part of me in my life; I'm in no rush. I am not compatible with someone who has got or who wants multiple partners. I am also not be compatible with someone not wanting a family. I found that it's more difficult to find people who are compatible with me, but I'm willing to wait.

[Cr****]

Enjoying BDSM and partner sharing etc aren't mutually exclusive. If you and your partner share similar tastes there's nothing saying you have to open it up to others

[Mu****]

This community is suitable for poly, open relationships, and monogamy. Not everyone is poly or in an open relationship. Not everyone is monogamous. 

[Ra****]

Dom for my entire adult life. Monogamous the entire time. I think I might be living proof.
My 2¢
Love is blind, but not dumb