Significance of Staying Safe in Online D/s BDSM as a Submissive Male

[at****]

 

In the realm of online BDSM, it is crucial for submissive males to prioritize their safety and avoid falling prey to fake profiles pretending to be mistresses. The internet has opened up new possibilities for connecting with like-minded individuals and exploring one's submissive desires. However, it has also given rise to numerous risks and scams that can exploit those seeking genuine D/s experiences. Therefore, understanding the importance of staying safe in online D/s BDSM is paramount.

Identifying Fake Profiles

Fake profiles are not uncommon in online communities, and the BDSM world is no exception. These profiles often pose as dominant women, enticing submissive males with promises of fulfilling their deepest desires. However, their intentions are often malicious, seeking to exploit *** individuals for personal gain. To avoid becoming prey to fake profiles, it is essential to develop the skills to identify them.

Verify the authenticity of the profile: Look for signs of credibility, such as a well-written bio, verified accounts or references from genuine sources.

Engage in thorough communication: Ask questions, discuss boundaries, and gauge the dominant's knowledge and understanding of BDSM dynamics.

Do not rush into submissive commitments: Genuine dominants will prioritize thorough discussions and consent, so be cautious of those rushing for immediate servitude without proper communication.

Research and use reliable BDSM platforms: Join reputable online BDSM communities or platforms specifically designed for BDSM dynamics, where profiles are better vetted.

Seek recommendations: Consult trusted friends or fellow submissives who have had positive experiences with online dominants. They can provide valuable insights and references.

Safety Measures as a Submissive Male

To safeguard oneself from potential harm, submissive males should follow certain safety measures while engaging in online D/s BDSM activities. These measures aim to protect personal information, establish trust, and ensure the encounter is consensual and respectful.

Maintain privacy: Avoid sharing personal details such as full name, address, or workplace until a level of trust has been established.

Establish boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits, interests, and expectations from the beginning to ensure compatibility with potential dominants.

Safeguard personal media: Be cautious about sharing explicit photos or videos, as they could be used against you.

Use safe words and signals: Establish a system for communication during play sessions to indicate discomfort or the need to stop.

Research BDSM best practices: Educate yourself about consent, negotiation, and aftercare to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience.

Practice ongoing communication: Regularly check in with the dominant to discuss any concerns or changes in boundaries.

Trust your instincts: If something feels off or suspicious, prioritize your instincts and remove yourself from the situation.

Conclusion

In the realm of online D/s BDSM, staying safe as a submissive male is of utmost importance. By recognizing and avoiding fake profiles, taking necessary safety measures, and prioritizing open communication, submissive males can navigate the online BDSM community with confidence, ensuring their experiences are fulfilling, consensual, and safe.

Note :- I’m submissive male and I have tried my best to express my understanding in the best possible manner. I do not intend to hurt or offend anyone. I apologize for anything that could be hurtful to anyone as I’m not a native English speaker so there might be issues with my language and ability to express.
Thanks in advance

[SmidsUKsub]

Thank you for taking the time to write this. Very useful information and thoughts.

[Su****]

Tineye* is good for reverse image search. You upload the photo they have on their profile then the site scours the internet for anywhere else it has been used.

Edited November 14, 2023 by FETMOD-TF
*External link removed

[ge****]

Can I be the first to say but what about staying safe as a submissive woman? 😁 How dare they be overlooked by this?
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And yes I am being ironic after the recent thread asking about how women can be safer on-line which essentially was answered by men asking why men had been precluded from the subject.
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Ironic observation over however, whilst there is much I agree with in your post which covers all the key areas, one thing that has been missed is that quite often men who fall prey to the types of behaviours you describe are their own worst enemies, because in their desperation for interaction and having their fantasies fulfilled many make themselves *** to the kind of predators ready to take advantage of them - and lose sight of the safety measures, you've outlined, they themselves need to be taking to protect themselves.
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Most scammers are easily spotted by using common sense and a little due diligence and yet we hear tales of them succeeding regularly, usually by men who later confess to having struggled to make connections with other more genuine people.
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I'm not seeking to blame the victim here, but in many cases that I've seen or heard about the victim could have done a lot more to protect themselves if they'd not been blinded by their desperation.

[at****]

@SmidsUKsubthank you for your kind words and you are welcome!!! 

[at****]

@Subboy39thats awesome, thanks for sharing this with us. I feel that this is something that anyone can easily do in order to stay safe. 

[at****]

@gemini_man

Thanks a lot for reading and responding to this post. , I do concur with you and I strongly feel that you make a valid point about how men can sometimes make themselves *** to predatory behaviors in their pursuit of fulfilling their fantasies. It is crucial for everyone, regardless of gender, to take responsibility for their own safety and be cautious when engaging with others online.

 

Moreover , I do agree that common sense and due diligence can go a long way in identifying scammers and protecting oneself. It is important for individuals to prioritize their safety and not let their desperation cloud their judgment. You do make a very valid point and I know that you aren’t definitely blaming the victim but rather asserting the vitality to stay vigilant and not become a  prey for the predators because of their desperation. Trust me one of the many reasons why I have written this from submissive men’s perspective is because of this and the fact that I have been there. Almost every-time I was too excited or rather desperate to find someone immediately I almost feel for this but I guess I was lucky enough to stay away from this vicious web /trap.

[Ia****]

Thanks for the info!

[at****]

@IamSam137thanks for taking time to read this. 

[gr****]

I've already had this happen in the first days of when I installed the app - I want to add that if someone wants you to go on Google Chat they are likely a scammer. It was obvious when there was no negotiation possible.

[at****]

So true.

[SwitchMade]

Great write. Scammers commonly refer to subs as "sluts" and "slaves" in every single sentence from the get-go. Not suggesting everyone who does it is a scammer, but for me, it's a red flag that someone's being lured. They're relentless, but before long, picking them out is like shooting fish in a barrel, you can't miss. Important to always watch for the signs, stay vigilant, and don't give out ANY identifying information until you actually know someone.

[ey****]

I feel it's still often interesting that when we talk about "male safety" the biggest *** is often being scammed. 

[ey****]

Also. Why does this read like a chatgpt post?

[ey****]

But, to add something

for a lot of men the worst thing they can think happen is being scammed (can cost ***, a bit humiliating and may lead to feelings of distrust or contempt) or that the person they meet doesn't look like their profile (honestly, studies the biggest *** of men on dates is "she might be fat" and biggest *** of women, "he might get angry if I don't give him what I want") and the former - is just an eyeroll - and, the latter... in a lot of cases *** can be recovered or - you're not out of pocket forever.

However, for me these are narrow views of safety and if your main focus on safety and mitigation is "I might be scammed" then I'm not entirely sure you're ready for kink at all.  Because the safety of yourself and any play partners is paramount.

So, basically, here's some safety advice I think is essential.

Don't rush into play! It's worth meeting somewhere neutral to discuss what you're intending to do together and the context of a relationship.  

A lot of men when getting the potential for play/relationship tend to get into an overly pleasing "I'll do anything" or go along with presented ideas despite being unsure about them ("I'll try Mistress" seem positive) a lot does come to the context of how well you know the other person but really you need to understand the play the other person is broaching

So for example, there was a guy on here said he'd love to be a rope bunny. Great! So do some research before anyone ties you. Maybe get some rope and practice. Understand how to prepare before being tied and how this affects your body so that you can recover after.

The same is true for pretty much any activity.  

It may be of course that something is brought up and you have a conversation to understand, but it helps to go in with your own knowledge.

Never play under the influence of alcohol or illegal ***.  Especially with a partner you don't know.  Oh, and even aspirin, it thins the *** so to be avoided if you're doing anything like impact play or ballbusting.

Don't assume that the person you are playing with is responsible and all-knowledgeable unless you have the trust and they've demonstrated it.  Even someone well meaning can make a mistake and if you don't know it's a mistake it can be bad for you both.

But there are dangerous/reckless players who are Dommes, as well as Masters, subs, etc. 

Which on that, never ask for anything dangerous/reckless (including but not limit to - any form of breath play to the point of pass out.   "no limits" with someone you don't know. intentionally breaking skin. being isolated. mutilation. etc) while most people will eyeroll and refuse to play, there's always someone daft enough and this seldom ends well.

As well as communicating your own likes, dislikes and limits - also understand those of your play partner.  This helps keep your own conduct in line

more thinking with big head, less thinking with little head