TheCopperQuean Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 For you, it’s so often used. This is for you, this is for your good et cetera. I had the classic DM last night of would you like to watch me come for you? For me. Doesn’t even really make sense does it because it isn’t for me at all, it is 100% for you. And would I ‘like’ it? I mean, I get that some people may do so, personally I’d be as bored as hell and see nothing in it for me at all. Some tasks in authority transference, although couched with ‘for me’ , will never be for me, and within that relationship that can be good enough as you please, as you care, as you like being told what to do. I would also rather hear that it isn’t for me, but it is completely about you because that’s the point isn’t it? Sometimes? Of course, over time, just giving becomes draining and actually for many without that complete slave persona, also creates resentment. I often see life and authority transference like a bank account, through necessity you may have to live in an overdraft, however long term that is not healthy and you never gain any interest. I often wonder when somebody starts very aggressively about them where this would potentially end up, as let’s face it, people get worse, rarely better if they start selfishly. There is a huge difference between dominant and selfish/arrogant. I think it is really important at times to ask yourself, when somebody says would you like to, would you really like to? Do you want this? Who is it for? What’s the cost of this in time or emotions? Often, we do not realise until too late that we are empty, that we are not being refuelled, nor asking for what we need, let alone what we want, which is a pretty toxic trait as a people pleaser. Resentment builds, and we can end up on the drama triangle, blaming the other person, feeling like a victim and whilst they did have a lot to do with it, actually so do we. It was a tradition, and still can be, that a father is asked for his daughters hand in marriage, I am not here to discuss the rights and wrongs of that and want to take one small part of it as often in that moment, intent is mentioned. Intent is a ***y good word. To understand your own and to understand somebody else’s and work out if we are on a similar trajectory can be really beneficial. For you can be sexy words, for me, can be sexy words, for us? Well that’s as sexy as fuck when your intent is aligned. Whether for a moment or a lifetime.
SissymaidMeg Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 Passion, insight and wisdom. Powerful well written words. Thank you
The_Rev_ Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 I agree with the point but wonder whether it's just like my cooking, a little overdone.
Obispo Posted December 9, 2023 Posted December 9, 2023 Well put. As for 'for you' etc, isn't that sorted with knowing boundaries and safe words. By all means talk, not asking them before if they'd like it ... Find out! Stopping to have a self gratifying wank is boring, the Dom shud either have better ideas or some self control. Yes we need release, but find a better moment. Better to play with the slave, there's a point to pleasurable ***! And that's 'for both' Seeing life as a bank account! I'm fucked!!
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