Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 16 minutes ago, TammyNatalia said: I would find neither sexy nor erotic And thats what makes this scene so much fun, the variation. For some its not about being sexy or erotic, its about being raw and harsh. Primal and rough. Taking ***fully 😊
Ta**** Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 6 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said: For some its not about being sexy or erotic, its about being raw and harsh. Primal and rough. Taking ***fully 😊 Quite so! In the end it depends what you want to get out of the scene/ lifestyle. As long as whatever a person does, is done with consent in mind and respect for the other.
Goldenrich Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Yes, the other party must give consent from my point of view, because if not you are getting into something different, and maybe not very respectful
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Just now, Goldenrich said: Yes, the other party must give consent from my point of view, because if not you are getting into something different, and maybe not very respectful A basic understanding of the scene. I think if we started randomly spitting in faces it wouldn't go down very well 😂
Ta**** Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 I think for me personally, I am not that interested very much in any kind of play acting, unless I feel there is something erotic and sexy somewhere in the background, even if i have not met the person. But I understand that some people get into scenarios in which sex and eroticism play very little, or no part at all, and that is entirely OK in my view!
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 6 minutes ago, TammyNatalia said: I think for me personally, I am not that interested very much in any kind of play acting I wouldn't see something like this as play acting, I see it as part of my sexual nature, part of what I am, and importantly part of what my partner is
Ta**** Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Perhaps not so much acting then, but certainly play, as it is not something I could do 24/7. However, it would depend on how deeply committed I am with my partner. It's possible that it can become so real with the right person that it ceases to be play acting, and becomes totally real and authentic.
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 1 minute ago, TammyNatalia said: Perhaps not so much acting then, but certainly play, as it is not something I could do 24/7. However, it would depend on how deeply committed I am with my partner. It's possible that it can become so real with the right person that it ceases to be play acting, and becomes totally real and authentic. None of what I do is play acting, what I did for 30 odd years in vanilla was play acting. Of course with the right partner ANYTHING is possible.
Ta**** Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 With me, I think it very much depends on the level of emotional commitment and yes....love. In that kind of relationship, anything is possible, and anything we do could become entirely real. And that includes vanilla as well. On the contrary, if I was to do a scene with a stranger, I think it would probably feel a lot more as if I was play acting.
Goldenrich Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Maybe with the right person things just happen naturally, for me I wouldn't go into a relationship thinking, I am going to do this, I'm not going to do that, if you are with the right person, you don't have to think it just comes naturally, and for me that is very erotic, because mother nature takes over
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 1 minute ago, TammyNatalia said: On the contrary, if I was to do a scene with a stranger, I think it would probably feel a lot more as if I was play acting. Of course but not many of us engage in activities like this with strangers. As I said earlier it would have to be part of what she is too, and you wouldn't know that with a stranger. What you would do with a new partner compared to one you have been with for a year as example can be poles apart. I would never spit in the face of someone I was just getting used to, unless she directly made it clear it was what she craved.
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 2 minutes ago, Goldenrich said: I am going to do this, I'm not going to do that For most of us that's exactly what we look for, one who can match those desires we carry. We actively look for them, well I do. I want so I seek. I'm talking to a girl right now and she's made it plain verbal is not for her, I've agreed to that without thought as she's interesting. It's not an issue BUT a year down the line if we became close then things can and do change and I will slowly drip feed it into her mind, plant a seed and see if it grows
Ta**** Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Some of the places I went to with my late husband, we certainly did see some stranger on stranger activity. I shall never forget Club Doma in the Hague, a memory to be savoured. But a lot of people on the scene do know each other. You get groups as well as couples..and i am sure many of them engage in mutual scenarios. As to the spitting, I don't think I would appreciate that even if I had been with someone for over 20 years! So it is clearly not something I would like or want to engage in.
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Just now, TammyNatalia said: As to the spitting, I don't think I would appreciate that even if I had been with someone for over 20 years! So it is clearly not something I would like or want to engage in. I'm getting a little confused, this is a basic tenant, limits and consent so that is clearly your limit not mine. This thread is about spitting and you have quite clearly stated it's not for you which is totally your decision and one that should be respected. This is why we talk, communicate, vet but over time limits and views can change and often do, not always though.
Goldenrich Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Yes, i understand where you are coming from, but from my point of view, I wouldn't want to drip feed any thing into any ones mind, because if it's not there in the first place, than it isn't there, but yes I agree with you, maybe I'm looking for the impossible, but that's what makes us interesting, we are all indeviduals and that's what makes life interesting, long may it last!!!
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 6 minutes ago, TammyNatalia said: I shall never forget Club Doma in the Hague, a memory to be savoured. But a lot of people on the scene do know each other. I'm not talking about clubs, only one on one and if I was in a club with a partner and a Dom randomly spat in her face he would receive something a little harder than a spit in return. As you say a lot of these people know each other and limits I would have thought would already be clearly defined unless CNC or no limit.
Ta**** Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 4 minutes ago, Donnykinkster said: I'm getting a little confused, this is a basic tenant Why confused? Certainly limits and consent are a basis tenet. I would never dispute that!
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 1 minute ago, TammyNatalia said: As to the spitting, I don't think I would appreciate that even if I had been with someone for over 20 years! So it is clearly not something I would like or want to engage in. Because you said this. It's a no brainer, not for you, that's your limit and that's that. If you feel you need to point this out to me then you don't know anything about me at all. It may not be for you and I respect that limit
Goldenrich Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Also If I were to drip feed something into somebody's mind, I would think she's only doing this because I want her to, really she is hating every moment of it, so for me it's got to be natural, not a shopping list of what I want
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 12 minutes ago, Goldenrich said: Yes, i understand where you are coming from, but from my point of view, I wouldn't want to drip feed any thing into any ones mind, because if it's not there in the first place People change especially as trust and affection build and it's a Dominant trait, to want and to shape your partner into those wants. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. When it doesn't that's the end of the matter
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Goldenrich said: Also If I were to drip feed something into somebody's mind, I would think she's only doing this because I want her to, really she is hating every moment of it, so for me it's got to be natural, not a shopping list of what I want I don't have a shopping list, just wants. Do I always get them? No. A d/s relationship is all about what the Dom wants, maybe your in the wrong place Edited July 6, 2020 by Deleted Member
Deleted Member Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 2 hours ago, Goldenrich said: so what ever floats your boat This aswell bothers me somewhat, it's as if you are giving me permission. Whatever floats your boat? Hmmmm yes that's right it is whatever floats my boat
Goldenrich Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 Well, maybe what ever turns you on, I am not judging you, I'm simply saying we all have things we like, and things we don't like, for example, I would love a woman to *** in my mouth, but maybe you think that is discusting, that's what I meant by whatever floats your boat
ey**** Posted July 6, 2020 Posted July 6, 2020 I feel some of this is getting left field, so here is some stuff to bundle it back on track. - I love spitting. The last porn clip I bought involved 5 ladies absolutely showering another lady in spit. It was glorious. And one of my favourite scenes I've been in involved 3 ladies spitting on me and using me as an ashtray. I loved it. - it's not for everyone - it's also a high risk activity. especially now. I was pretty ill once after a spiting scene a few years ago - the concept of doing things for your Dominant I can get behind. But not every Dominant loves spitting. If this is a no no for you, then of course like every limit this should be respected, but probably worth not dealing with those who love it.
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