Can BDSM heal?

[Deleted Member]

Does BDSM have any healing power from past trauma? 

[Ki****]

I think it can help u regain power and security. Channel the trauma to work for u to repair.

[Deleted Member]

Yes I believe it can help you regain control of yourself and help you to understand more about yourself and what you want. It helps you to create positive boundaries in your life.

[un****]

i’m personally of the belief it can but as with everything it takes the right person to work with in a manner of speaking otherwise it will not end particularly well

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, KitanaWins82 said:

I think it can help u regain power and security. Channel the trauma to work for u to repair.

As a caregiving daddy, it has always fulfilled me but without it, one suffers the void and the flashbacks are returning. I wonder if bdsm was my only healing space.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, boston92855 said:

Yes I believe it can help you regain control of yourself and help you to understand more about yourself and what you want. It helps you to create positive boundaries in your life.

On contrary it has helped in going beyond the boundaries, in liberating from past traumas and helping my play partner loose her sense of insecurities as well. What for of healing if any did you experience from it?

[Deleted Member]

46 minutes ago, undeaddom said:

i’m personally of the belief it can but as with everything it takes the right person to work with in a manner of speaking otherwise it will not end particularly well

Thank you. I too believe it.

[ey****]

some people find benefit from it - but there lacks proper studies : that also the reliance on kink for 'healing' can have problems if kink is not available - and also there can be false attributes

 

[A_****]

It can help, but it is no replacement for therapy. I’ve utilized many techniques in play and in vanilla life to assist partners, but it wouldn’t have gone far enough without their work with their therapists, and their willingness to grow.

[earthyangel]

It depends... it can also trigger past traumas.

I would suggest going to a therapy in order to solve such things. in any case I wouldn't mix the two. a Master that is not a therapist should not treat you. and a Therapist, should not do BDSM sessions with you if he is treating your trauma, or treating you in general, because its not ethic. 
Beside that, being in a situation that you choose, that you have full control of, and you can pull your consent in any moment, might give you some sense of power.. and again it might do the opposite.
 

[Da****]

Can BDSM heal? In my experience, most definitely. Can it heal trauma and issues from the past. Again, most definitely.

Perhaps the OP will explain more of the questions behind the question to get into it more.


There are healers who are certified, licensed and insured, who incorporate kink and bdsm into the work they do. Some are even therapists.

I've experienced it where an individual with the trauma uses bdsm and the consent-building activities to 'rewire' their way towards their soverignity, towards their being in control, towards their healing. In some cases the other players in a scene, dont even need to know or even have a part in it. It's also not something that is done to them (e.g. My Dom will fix me instead of a therapist). In another case the person carrying the trauma and their long term kink partner used some time with a therapist to design 'homework' to take back to their play sessions.

Lastly, i wanted to add that its not only sexual trauma that has been worked on, but other forms also.

[earthyangel]

3 hours ago, DanTienDomD said:

Can BDSM heal? In my experience, most definitely. Can it heal trauma and issues from the past. Again, most definitely.

Perhaps the OP will explain more of the questions behind the question to get into it more.


There are healers who are certified, licensed and insured, who incorporate kink and bdsm into the work they do. Some are even therapists.

I've experienced it where an individual with the trauma uses bdsm and the consent-building activities to 'rewire' their way towards their soverignity, towards their being in control, towards their healing. In some cases the other players in a scene, dont even need to know or even have a part in it. It's also not something that is done to them (e.g. My Dom will fix me instead of a therapist). In another case the person carrying the trauma and their long term kink partner used some time with a therapist to design 'homework' to take back to their play sessions.

Lastly, i wanted to add that its not only sexual trauma that has been worked on, but other forms also.

hm.. there was one that I heard of.. many went to him. till some started to talk about him abusing his power to do things that are not ethic or not by what the law allow him. I guess different countries have different rules. in some its allowed, in some its not. and probably for a reason.

[Pneuma]

Can it heal? No. 

Can it help to heal? Yes

[ey****]

2 hours ago, earthyangel said:

hm.. there was one that I heard of.. many went to him. till some started to talk about him abusing his power to do things that are not ethic or not by what the law allow him. I guess different countries have different rules. in some its allowed, in some its not. and probably for a reason.

there are a few ladies I know who are trained in therapy/counselling.  and are also Dommes.

only one will cross the streams.  and that has others eyebrows raised

because at the simplest, you can shift the problem to create a co-dependency. Intentionally, or otherwise.

and this to be is a big thing - because if you put stock into BDSM for your own healing, mental heath, etc. and then for whatever reason this is not available - it makes things worse.   

[Ta****]

1 hour ago, Pneuma said:

Can it heal? No. 

Can it help to heal? Yes

I agree with this. It is far better to work on healing from past trauma (as much as is possible) prior to entering a dynamic, and those that seek to be healed by their next dynamic often, sadly, wind up with more trauma. As the saying goes, “hurt people hurt people”.

[ki****]

It really helped me. After sexual *** and domesticated *** I needed validation. Only way I could feel validated was by having sex. Now I could of become a massive hoe but luckily a good friend and me became fwb. He knew my trama and what triggered me. He dealt with a lot of panic attacks and lots of blue balls 🙃 but we became solid together and we slowly started bringing me back into my kink loving mind. And learning it can be a safe space again. We were fwb for 4 years in and out of relationships. I owe him my life as honestly he saved me from giving up. Am I healed hell no. Will I ever be. Probably not. But now kink is my therapy . My only hard rule is no *** wether im receiving or giving I know it will take my mind right back to that experience

[Do****]

29 minutes ago, kinkybitchsc said:

It really helped me. After sexual *** and domesticated *** I needed validation. Only way I could feel validated was by having sex. Now I could of become a massive hoe but luckily a good friend and me became fwb. He knew my trama and what triggered me. He dealt with a lot of panic attacks and lots of blue balls 🙃 but we became solid together and we slowly started bringing me back into my kink loving mind. And learning it can be a safe space again. We were fwb for 4 years in and out of relationships. I owe him my life as honestly he saved me from giving up. Am I healed hell no. Will I ever be. Probably not. But now kink is my therapy . My only hard rule is no *** wether im receiving or giving I know it will take my mind right back to that experience

It sounds like you found an extraordinary FWB or more accurately FWBB. The importance of honesty in communicating past traumas is in itself the***utic. Avoiding triggers is part of the healing process and should be given more prominence in any discussions related to Dynamics and relationships.
We all know a wound will not heal if it is constantly aggravated. In time the trauma may become just a small scar, a little reminder, but not debilitating.

[Su****]

Absolutely. Taking back control of your own body and control of feeling powerless

[Deleted Member]

On 1/8/2024 at 4:45 PM, kinkybitchsc said:

It really helped me. After sexual *** and domesticated *** I needed validation. Only way I could feel validated was by having sex. Now I could of become a massive hoe but luckily a good friend and me became fwb. He knew my trama and what triggered me. He dealt with a lot of panic attacks and lots of blue balls 🙃 but we became solid together and we slowly started bringing me back into my kink loving mind. And learning it can be a safe space again. We were fwb for 4 years in and out of relationships. I owe him my life as honestly he saved me from giving up. Am I healed hell no. Will I ever be. Probably not. But now kink is my therapy . My only hard rule is no *** wether im receiving or giving I know it will take my mind right back to that experience

thanks for sharing your story. its really helpful. ive gone through something similar. 

 

[dook]

Being a submissive really helps me release certain feelings I have about myself that have no other channel to express. 

[Na****]

Yes for me it most definitely has! Ropes and a safe space and connection really helped to overcome my sexual trauma. To the point I even embrace my slutty side.

[ha****]

Never tired it