ADVICE FOR NEWBIES.

[Fet-This]

Yours is actually pretty appealing on it's own and I like that your current partner's profile is linked. Your ad makes it unclear though, if you're *only* searching for a third or if you and/or your parter are also seeking more partners on your own. For your ad it might be helpful to expand on what you're open to or looking for. Another submissive as an equal to you or who would be sub to you both, another Domme who would co-top you or what?


thanks, so that bit actually needs updating, unfortunately we've gone out separate ways and I can't figure out how to remove an ad....

[Th****]

3 minutes ago, BakeDu said:

I would love constructive criticism on my profile. Not much of a writer/texter more of an in person type of communicator.

This is always something that can be improved upon. It can be helpful for some to write up their "about me" in a notes app or something where you can work on it a bit here and there rather than all at once then copy and paste it here. It can feel like less pressure that way. 

[Th****]

Just now, Fet-This said:

Yours is actually pretty appealing on it's own and I like that your current partner's profile is linked. Your ad makes it unclear though, if you're *only* searching for a third or if you and/or your parter are also seeking more partners on your own. For your ad it might be helpful to expand on what you're open to or looking for. Another submissive as an equal to you or who would be sub to you both, another Domme who would co-top you or what?


thanks, so that bit actually needs updating, unfortunately we've gone out separate ways and I can't figure out how to remove an ad....

Maybe try posting in the technical stuff forum? People are usually pretty helpful with stuff like that there. 

[YorkshireBiker]

I think I’ll have another play with mine and take some time with it, I’m sure I can do better.

32 minutes ago, namer said:

Wow. Ok, that sounds complicated. Good to know. I just addressed everyone as a Mistress, as I thought that kind of covers everything, where you can then go into more specific kinks if you want 😅

Being inexperienced means you will use some terminology incorrectly, some people won’t be too bothered, some will politely correct you, and some will be extremely unhappy about it. As a general rule, don’t call anyone and kind title (like Mistress) or pet name unless you know they’re happy with it. 
 

My local dialect tends cause issues as we call men ‘mate’ and women ‘love’ and a lot of women call men ‘darling’ so I’ve learned not use those so freely. 

[Fet-This]

4 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

Maybe try posting in the technical stuff forum? People are usually pretty helpful with stuff like that there. 

It's alright, I figured it out.
I think I just didn't want to do it as it was a bit shit to change myself to single and take her off my account

[Fet-This]

Profile updated for my new situation.
I'm still happy for any criticism on it!

[Th****]

24 minutes ago, BakeDu said:

I would love constructive criticism on my profile. Not much of a writer/texter more of an in person type of communicator.

The "I’m here for a Funtime not a longtime." sounds like something one of the vanilla tourists that are running amok around the site would say. People with sti's aren't "dirty" so changing your verbiage to something more like "tested regularly, results available" would be better.

The rest is pretty good, I'd suggest adding a bit more about "vanilla you". 

[Th****]

20 minutes ago, Fet-This said:

It's alright, I figured it out.
I think I just didn't want to do it as it was a bit shit to change myself to single and take her off my account

I feel like most people can relate to those feels. 

[Th****]

4 hours ago, Goddess_Fifi said:

That is true because some people are lazy and don't read, I just ask them 'did you read my profile'? That usually will sort things swiftly.

Depending on if I'm in a benevolent mood or not those who obviously haven't read won't get a reply at all. If they can't be bothered to put in the minimum amount of effort why should I? 

[sm****]

When there is no substance to a profile, it sets a red flag off.  If they can't be arsed to to put some detail in, and i don't mean pictures, they actually mean nothing.  If someone doesn't put effort in to describe themselves, needs, wants what they are here for/experience or lack of, has a high tendency to show they are quite superficial and not really respecting the people they communicate with.

Things have changed a great deal over the years, at one point you would have attended a few munches to get your face and personality known to the local fet scene.   This would open far more real doors for those willing to put some effort in to things.

I remember my early days, bulitin boards Mirc etc and I wasn't taken seriously until those first public meet ups after I opened up more and didn't fall in to those all to similar traps...hi wanna meet up A/S/L  looking for some cyber thrills.

It's always worth putting more effort in to building a fet friends list than, im only after "THE ONE".  Scene friends are worth their weight in gold and really do open up more doors for your journey.

 

[FF****]

Hey 👋 would you be able to have a look at my profile ? I have been back on here after a while away dealing with health issues and would like to meet and make friendship connections with all roles. I have tried to keep my profile updated, adjusted settings etc to try an avoid any of the vanillas that pop up for a good time hook up. Also I don’t want to come across as someone who is into the more extreme side. I fully admit that I am a inexperience, and not trying to lead anyone on. I just can’t seem to strike up a conversation with someone in positive way that leads to a engaging conversation.

[CopperKnob]

Whilst I agree in principle, filling out kinks/fetishes/confessions *can attract the wrong type of individual, the ones that do focus on that and that alone. Frankly, My inbox is already unpleasant at tines to the point that I don't want to open messages from those people I've not already interacted with. A green circle over the envelope will often give me enough anxiety not to even look at whose messaged.

[Goddess_Fifi]

12 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Whilst I agree in principle, filling out kinks/fetishes/confessions *can attract the wrong type of individual, the ones that do focus on that and that alone. Frankly, My inbox is already unpleasant at tines to the point that I don't want to open messages from those people I've not already interacted with. A green circle over the envelope will often give me enough anxiety not to even look at whose messaged.

My apologies that you have had that experience, however from my experience I would say 97% off my experience on here has been great, most men are polite when approaching me. I can count on one hand how many people have been absolutely vile and my profile is thoroughly filled profile, you can say what your into without giving details. With anything we will always run into the odd bozo from time to time.

[Goddess_Fifi]

19 minutes ago, FFG088 said:

Hey 👋 would you be able to have a look at my profile ? I have been back on here after a while away dealing with health issues and would like to meet and make friendship connections with all roles. I have tried to keep my profile updated, adjusted settings etc to try an avoid any of the vanillas that pop up for a good time hook up. Also I don’t want to come across as someone who is into the more extreme side. I fully admit that I am a inexperience, and not trying to lead anyone on. I just can’t seem to strike up a conversation with someone in positive way that leads to a engaging conversation.

I would suggest doing the things I mentioned in the post, maybe add some photos, they don't necessarily have to be your face, if you notice my profile all my pictures are obscured in some way.

[Th****]

13 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Whilst I agree in principle, filling out kinks/fetishes/confessions *can attract the wrong type of individual, the ones that do focus on that and that alone. Frankly, My inbox is already unpleasant at tines to the point that I don't want to open messages from those people I've not already interacted with. A green circle over the envelope will often give me enough anxiety not to even look at whose messaged.

For sure but you also have a well thought out "about me" section, last I looked, and you participate in the forums with some really fantastic writings and other contributions. I don't feel like the OP really applies to you. 

[CopperKnob]

21 minutes ago, FFG088 said:

Hey 👋 would you be able to have a look at my profile ? I have been back on here after a while away dealing with health issues and would like to meet and make friendship connections with all roles. I have tried to keep my profile updated, adjusted settings etc to try an avoid any of the vanillas that pop up for a good time hook up. Also I don’t want to come across as someone who is into the more extreme side. I fully admit that I am a inexperience, and not trying to lead anyone on. I just can’t seem to strike up a conversation with someone in positive way that leads to a engaging conversation.

As a women, I wouldn't advertise that you're new here. Certain individuals specifically look for newbies with specific intentions.
Other than that, I'd just add a little more about yourself as a person, forget the kink part for the time being

[CopperKnob]

6 minutes ago, Goddess_Fifi said:

My apologies that you have had that experience, however from my experience I would say 97% off my experience on here has been great, most men are polite when approaching me. I can count on one hand how many people have been absolutely vile and my profile is thoroughly filled profile, you can say what your into without giving details. With anything we will always run into the odd bozo from time to time.

It is what it is, I've been about a little longer. Just wanted to add a different perspective so that people could consider their own circumstances.

[CopperKnob]

4 minutes ago, ThaliaV said:

For sure but you also have a well thought out "about me" section, last I looked, and you participate in the forums with some really fantastic writings and other contributions. I don't feel like the OP really applies to you. 

Maybe not, though it could do with a bit if an update 😀

[Th****]

8 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Maybe not, though it could do with a bit if an update 😀

Everyone needs to update theirs from time to time. It's been a minute since I've looked at mine 

[***fulPleasures]

New to the platform and labeling my kinks as I have minimal experience and fantasize a good bit. If anyone is willing to give a nub some help not matter how brutal, I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

[CopperKnob]

11 minutes ago, ***fulPleasures said:

New to the platform and labeling my kinks as I have minimal experience and fantasize a good bit. If anyone is willing to give a nub some help not matter how brutal, I'd appreciate it. Thanks!

Again it tells us nothing about you as a person?
Your first kinky ad, fine. The second, you need someone to fantasise about? Honestly, log on to a porn site. It feels as though that ad is literally for your benefit. What's the deal for the other person?
Lastly, and this is personal to me, others may have different thoughts but, take out length and girth. Did you take a measuring tape to it? Is this the only thing about you? I'd hope not.
Whilst the OP suggests filling out everything, there are some things that can be excluded

[Goddess_Fifi]

5 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Again it tells us nothing about you as a person?
Your first kinky ad, fine. The second, you need someone to fantasise about? Honestly, log on to a porn site. It feels as though that ad is literally for your benefit. What's the deal for the other person?
Lastly, and this is personal to me, others may have different thoughts but, take out length and girth. Did you take a measuring tape to it? Is this the only thing about you? I'd hope not.
Whilst the OP suggests filling out everything, there are some things that can be excluded

Hi there, it is great that you are giving people advice, however you can do that without throwing shade and making a reference to what I have stated in my post, if you disagree with anything I have suggested make your own post.

[CopperKnob]

28 minutes ago, Goddess_Fifi said:

Hi there, it is great that you are giving people advice, however you can do that without throwing shade and making a reference to what I have stated in my post, if you disagree with anything I have suggested make your own post.

That's not me throwing shade at you or your post at all. It's my take on the options available within the fet profile template that for me, personally, is unnecessary. It's information that I feel does not need to be added in anyones profile. Which is what I believe I said within my comment.

[***fulPleasures]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

Again it tells us nothing about you as a person?
Your first kinky ad, fine. The second, you need someone to fantasise about? Honestly, log on to a porn site. It feels as though that ad is literally for your benefit. What's the deal for the other person?
Lastly, and this is personal to me, others may have different thoughts but, take out length and girth. Did you take a measuring tape to it? Is this the only thing about you? I'd hope not.
Whilst the OP suggests filling out everything, there are some things that can be excluded

I appreciate the feedback and apologize for the second ad. I agree it was in poor taste. However I put my length because I am proud of it. It is not the only thing about me or that is all I would have put. And though that may be a personal thing to you please don't be disrespectful to me or others like that. It puts you in an entirely poor light.

[CopperKnob]

23 minutes ago, ***fulPleasures said:

I appreciate the feedback and apologize for the second ad. I agree it was in poor taste. However I put my length because I am proud of it. It is not the only thing about me or that is all I would have put. And though that may be a personal thing to you please don't be disrespectful to me or others like that. It puts you in an entirely poor light.

A) you don't need to apologise to me
B) it's not being disrespectful. You asked for feedback "no matter how brutal" and you received it.
The point is, it's feedback that struck a chord/you aren't accepting of which, gives you reason to feel it's disrespectful. I'd have said the same to a woman had she had added her breast size (it's an option for female profiles). IMO, it's unnecessary information particularly in a world, especially online that sees people as commodities or, more relevant here, sex objects.