New Here? Introduce Yourselves!

[Bigdonpatrick]

Hi I'm new in this site and just like to introduce myself to all the members. 

My name is Patrick and I'm Dominant living in Sweden.

Edited February 19, 2020 by Bigdonpatrick

[ElsonSanchez]

Hi,this is Elson from Newyork

[ba****]

Hey there everyone, new to the site and would love to hear from someone to have a chat and see where things go. If you like my picture and profile, please get in touch

[Papi71]

Happy to be here!

[Bournemouthmaster2se]

New here but not to kink.  I'm from south coast of England,  Dom, been in lifestyle 25 years plus.

[QueenHeidi]

How do block someone?

[Jaydeesub]

Hey new im trying to Experience Bdsm the first time always thought it was hot!I like a bunch of differ Fetish’s such as,pegging,***s,etc.Looking for my first Mistress to  use and *** me.Any takers

[Uhhuh98]

What's up from gurley,Alabama 

[Trebyr]

Hi All! Can't believe I found you!! Very new to kink and have led a very vanilla (and middle-aged  ) life. Hoping to expand my horizons and explore new sensations.

[pn****]

HELLO! everyone.... im a newbie hope everyone is well! from So California

Edited February 28, 2020 by pnpdaddy

[Rocknrolla313]

Hi all I'm new here.. I have quite recently broke from my first 24/7 sub/dom relationship.. It was my introduction to the Bdsm lifestyle but I learned so much during the relationship and now am looking for a new sub. I thought this site may be a good place to start any advice on meeting a new sub/slave would be greatly appreciated. 

[Vandalslut]

On 2/24/2020 at 9:59 AM, QueenHeidi said:

How do block someone?

There was a discussion in the SOS tech kinks about blocking, that may be helpful.

[Vandalslut]

9 hours ago, Rocknrolla313 said:

Hi all I'm new here.. I have quite recently broke from my first 24/7 sub/dom relationship.. It was my introduction to the Bdsm lifestyle but I learned so much during the relationship and now am looking for a new sub. I thought this site may be a good place to start any advice on meeting a new sub/slave would be greatly appreciated. 

Yes, great place to start! There's been a few discussion threads along these lines lately, from Doms who are WELL over the hysterical submissive begging them to 'take' them and do anything to them, please! And from Submissives who are WELL over the 'Bull-Dom' approach: "HEY. YOU. Get your knickers down, I want a photo, NOW! Write 'SLUT' on your tits in lipstick and give me your immediate submission, because this is what I'm going to be doing to you and I'LL make you beg for My mercy...' and other assorted ignorant crap.   If you are definite about what you want in a sub, and whether you want a 24/7 relationship again, or a different type of relationship...then you spot a likely looking partner - contact them and behave as if you have just been introduced at a party. Send a message saying, "Hi, you look very attractive, can we talk and have a back and forth and see if we might get along?" 

Any questions, send us a PM. Good luck.

[Vandalslut]

On 2/26/2020 at 7:38 PM, Jaydeesub said:

Hey new im trying to Experience Bdsm the first time always thought it was hot!I like a bunch of differ Fetish’s such as,pegging,***s,etc.Looking for my first Mistress to  use and *** me.Any takers

Try reading these posts first, before offering yourself for use and ***  to 'any takers':

https://www.fetish.com/topic/11135-grace-millane/?tab=comments#comment-49020

https://www.fetish.com/topic/11201-those-new-to-the-scene-please-read/

[Rocknrolla313]

5 hours ago, Vandalslut said:

Yes, great place to start! There's been a few discussion threads along these lines lately, from Doms who are WELL over the hysterical submissive begging them to 'take' them and do anything to them, please! And from Submissives who are WELL over the 'Bull-Dom' approach: "HEY. YOU. Get your knickers down, I want a photo, NOW! Write 'SLUT' on your tits in lipstick and give me your immediate submission, because this is what I'm going to be doing to you and I'LL make you beg for My mercy...' and other assorted ignorant crap.   If you are definite about what you want in a sub, and whether you want a 24/7 relationship again, or a different type of relationship...then you spot a likely looking partner - contact them and behave as if you have just been introduced at a party. Send a message saying, "Hi, you look very attractive, can we talk and have a back and forth and see if we might get along?" 

Any questions, send us a PM. Good luck.

Thanks for the advice.. Yes I have been tempted to message a few potential partners but wasn't too sure about the best way to approach it. So do you think it's better idea to make my initial approach a completely vanilla introduction and wait to introduce the power exchange aspect until we have got to know each other a little and made sure we get along? 

[ey****]

for contacting people - my general advice

- read their profiles; this might give any give aways on how they'd prefer to be contacted and while you're at the mercy of what they've written there may be other talking points.   I did once have a conversation going on another site where someone said they were a big Dr Who geek and so my message was very DW heavy.  

- if there's no giveaways, then triple ask yourself why you are contacting them.  That's something else that should also come across in your message.  I mean, obviously, you're here to meet someone - but why *them* what makes them so special?

- this is stuff that can help you come across in your first message.  That yep it should be kept warm, friendly, vanilla - unless there's something on their profile that suggests otherwise.  

- The old "meet for a coffee and see how it goes" is dull and tiresome.  The recipient might feel that while YOU have the time/*** to sit in a coffee shop with a stranger on something which is likely to go nowhere - they don't.   It only really works if they're actually interested in *you* 

- Remember, that you can do everything right and still not get what you want and it's how you respond to this that's important.  Being adjitated and angry isn't a good trait - whenever a guy comes back on the forum and expresses frustration they messaged people and didn't get what they wanted, this tells other people that you will get adjitiated, frustrated, etc. when you don't get your own way. 

[Vandalslut]

1 hour ago, Rocknrolla313 said:

Thanks for the advice.. Yes I have been tempted to message a few potential partners but wasn't too sure about the best way to approach it. So do you think it's better idea to make my initial approach a completely vanilla introduction and wait to introduce the power exchange aspect until we have got to know each other a little and made sure we get along? 

Yes, that's as good a description  as any.  Even if they might seem as if they're looking for the heavy 'Dom of their dreams', the reality may be bit  of a shock when they DO get a message from someone who's coming across as a storm-the-fortress boots-and-all Dom.  Gentlemanly manners - at least until you are familiar - and warm and friendly as eyemblacksheep has suggested, is your best start off.  And again, if I may quote eyemblacksheep - you may do everything right and it still doesn't work, your response will be important.  Getting in a state about it won't do you any future favours, even if you think you 'should' be angry. Dignity will score positive points. Wishing you luck - honey catches more flies than vinegar.

[ey****]

I guess for example - there are assorted ladies on here who make me go star eyed; some of which I've not gazed longingly at their profiles for a bit but that I know for reasons I'm not what they're looking for (like, among anything else - I'm in the NE, poly, etc.  so no good if someone who wants something mono with someone local to them. So on.) that just seeing their names on a thread makes my heart skip.   

But, I did find someone local who I thought we had potential to work and swapped a few messages including on WhatsApp and then she decided she was unsure and it was a no from her.  I was a little disappointed, sure, but in accepting it with humility it means that if in a few months time she thinks "you know what...." then something might happen - whereas if I'd been an arse then something definitely would never happen.

 

[aleks-9472]

Hello all

[MickTucker]

Hi there, I'm a BBC journalist working on a radio documentary looking at 'rough sex' amongst young people (18-39 year olds). It's particularly focussing on men who slap, ***, gag, bite, spit on their partners - or pull their hair - during sex. I'm looking to speak to young men who do this to hear about their and their partners' experiences - why you enjoy it, and what your influences are. This is purely for research at the moment, and any initial conversation would be completely anonymous and off-the-record. If you are UK-based, and interested in getting in touch, please drop me a message or email me at [email protected]   Many thanks, Mick

[cautiousswitch]

On 2/23/2020 at 5:59 PM, QueenHeidi said:

How do block someone?

If they appear on your Who Viewed Me list then there will be an icon that will block them.  If you are in table mode then you will have to scroll over their picture for the three icons to appear.  If you are in list mode then the three icons appear to the far right.

[Wo****]

9 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

If they appear on your Who Viewed Me list then there will be an icon that will block them.  If you are in table mode then you will have to scroll over their picture for the three icons to appear.  If you are in list mode then the three icons appear to the far right.

You can only block someone who you've had contact with, as in messaged.

[cautiousswitch]

2 minutes ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

You can only block someone who you've had contact with, as in messaged.

No, it just let me block someone who viewed me and I've had no other contact with.

[Vandalslut]

6 hours ago, Newstarter said:

Hi, I'm a total newbie, trying to master the site while ideally seen if there are any local masters, to see if I am trainable, I like a guy to take control, so thought no better way of looking for a Dom would be here, the starts of a new journey 

Hi, Newstarter - welcome to the world of Kink, where no-one judges you. This site is pretty well monitored - tech is a bit wayward sometimes. There are plenty of friendly, experienced people who are willing to help. Read the discussions and threads that interest you, the magazine has a ton of good articles. Ask questions, it's OK!  Not wishing to be  wet blanket or put you off, but please, always exercise caution.  If you see someone you feel can help you, ask if they wouldn't mind PM-ing.  Read here: 

https://www.fetish.com/topic/11135-grace-millane/?tab=comments#comment-49020

https://www.fetish.com/topic/11201-those-new-to-the-scene-please-read/

And good luck!

[Vandalslut]

10 hours ago, CurvedNewbie said:

Hi! Completely new to this world and would love to know how to get started. Extremely shy and haven't really had experience with this kind of stuff. Would like mentors who can guide me through this world. I'm a potentially subby bi-woman who would love someone with a firm guidance.

Read, ask, research - all of it, the good, the bad and the downright hilariously misinformed as well.  There are plenty of people here willing to give friendly help and advice; the magazine has plenty of helpful and down-to-earth articles; comment on posts and discussions...and since you are completely new, please read:

https://www.fetish.com/topic/11135-grace-millane/?tab=comments#comment-49020

https://www.fetish.com/topic/11201-those-new-to-the-scene-please-read/

Not trying to be a wet blanket, but caution is never a bad thing.  Welcome - and if you see someone   here you feel might be helpful, ask if they would like to PM with you.  Good luck!