Think power-play may be what my wife needs

[Deleted Member]

I'm looking for advice, especially from female subd

Something clicked the other day when I heard a woman describing why she likes bondage and submission.

1) My wife finds it hard to let go of control and it leads to her getting stressed. Having a release from this is one benefit I have heard people give for being a Sub.

2)  My wife often wants to try something new sexually but then find it hard to let go. Having an excuse to "be naughty" because it "isn't you" is another benefit.

So, I thought power-play/bondage could be a good release for her and good for our sex.

The thought of power-play turns me on and I think I could be a creative dom.

I'm worried that if I suggest the idea it will seem totally self-serving.

I'm looking for advice and thoughts on how to introduce the idea.

 

We toyed with the idea of me tying her up a while back but nothing ever came of it. I think it was her idea to begin with but then she got cold feet.

In our marriage generally we have great communication. Perhaps less so on the subject of sex.

She used to have a bit of a shoe kink, perhaps that is a good place to start.

 

[Deleted Member]

Communicate, always, and start small. There are plenty of ways to ease into it and give your partner a taste, without overwhelming them

[Vandalslut]

Hi, Count:  Here's the news from a sub-slut and do feel free to share it with your wife. To be taken over and have all choice taken away is the most liberating thing in the world.  The Vandal puts me in his handcuffs and in that instant he frees me to be in the moment of what is happening - or what is NOT happening.  Or what may or may not happen. And when a  Dom is creative  it's a real trip from the Hell of Control to the Heaven a Dom creates exclusively for his sub-slut. We live in a world that's 24/7 and we're losing the ability to switch off and close the doors - we think we've got to control everything and in reality, everything is controlling us!  Phones beep demandingly and emails  have to be answered and grocery shopping's got to be done and what's my status on Facebook (actually we're being facetious there - we've never been on Facebook and don't want to be either) or there might be kids or family to deal with...it just goes on and on!  Since you and the wife have discussed these possibilities, you could try surprising her with a in-house 'kidnap' and simple wrist tying and see how that works for you and her. It won't be self-serving - you'll be serving both yourself and her if she really wants to let go of control and finds it difficult - and that difficulty is probably what caused the 'cold feet'.  Good luck.

[Deleted Member]

Thank you both
@DanteReign

@Vandalslut

that's very helpful.

Edited October 15, 2019 by Deleted Member

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, CountFirmhand said:

Thank you both
@DanteReign

@Vandalslut

that's very helpful.

You are most welcome. If you ever need any more help, do not hesitate to ask

[Deleted Member]

This is my dream and maybe hers...to be freed from being in charge, the expert. Oh, to just be told what to do to please someone else. Trust me, she wants a break.

[Vandalslut]

When I was walking and thinking today it occurred to me that it takes a lot of strength, trust and courage to surrender and to be willing to surrender and hand over control of the mind, body and spirit to another.  And it takes great honour and strength to be a good Dom.  I hope you attain your dream, BabygirlBelle.

[Deleted Member]

Hello.

You could try her with some mild corporal punishment, such as spanking to get her started.  Maybe the rest will go from there.  It might be a good way for her to relinquish control to you, but it depends how she copes.  As one Dom said to me, C.P is very much an acquired taste, and it always requires consent by both parties.