Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 New Accounts - Genuine bit of advice to everyone who is new here. This isn’t a very big community - on this site. Typically you see the same people and relationships knocking about, sharing advice etc. It’s not like twitter where posts get pushed down a page behind thousands of others. And when someone new to BDSM comes along with a genuine interest - you see them do their research, ask questions and be patient. With that in mind. Consider the quality of your posts and the sincerity of what you say. Nobody in their right mind looking for a legit BDSM partner would start something with ‘strap attack’ And there’s a new account called Lala sweets who has literally commented on every male post in the last 24 hours saying ‘I’ll do that’ despite living in the states and without any self regard. Just take the site in for a few days before you start saying things that truly don’t reflect the best on you because they DO get noticed, trust me. I’m only saying this because if the crap was cut’ you may actually enjoy yourself here and learn something. And it would also be a lot less cringe worthy for those of us who can see straight though someone’s blatant internet-surf-gone-too-far.
Jed Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 Take a bow @Sophiesub190 excellent post and valuable advice for any newcomer to the site!👏👏
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2019 Author Posted October 23, 2019 Absolutely nailed it there Sophie. Eloquently put and right on the ***. Excellent advice indeed that only a fool would ignore. Thanks for taking the time to write this post.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2019 Author Posted October 23, 2019 "Strap attack" was funny though 😂
ey**** Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 43 minutes ago, Normalbutkinky said: "Strap attack" was funny though yeah, but for the wrong reasons haha
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2019 Author Posted October 23, 2019 Sounds like lala sweets is a guy looking for victims...
ey**** Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 4 minutes ago, King38 said: Sounds like lala sweets is a guy looking for victims... I reported them earlier. Their profile breaks the site rules so they'll be gone soon enough.
Deleted Member Posted October 23, 2019 Author Posted October 23, 2019 Thanks for this post Sophie! I've been here a few months and short of a few exciting exchanges, I still haven't found what I'm looking for. What seems to happen is a new woman opens an account, replies and then doesn't log back in again - sometimes for months. Seems strange that someone would create an account once and then not check on it again for months on end. I don't mean, oh doesn't reply to ME, I mean no log back in for MONTHS! And I see this happen A LOT! I just hope they are not fake accounts. I want to keep the faith, as it were, lol!
SassyBratt Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 Im new. Been in and out of here. My trial is almost up. And im not really looking to pay, to stay here. Im new to the lifestyle and just haven't found what im looking for here.
Vandalslut Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 1 hour ago, SassyBratt said: Im new. Been in and out of here. My trial is almost up. And im not really looking to pay, to stay here. Im new to the lifestyle and just haven't found what im looking for here. So...what are you looking for?
ey**** Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 another piece of advice for newbie/new posts is to use the relevant threads....
SassyBratt Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 I was just looking for local groups in my area that i can go to and meet people and learn.
Deleted Member Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 There’s a thread for new people to meet and chat, I’d suggest all the new accounts below to chat in there and hopefully help support each other and become friends over time. Finding BDSM buddies is just as important as play partners. You need friends :) If it helps, I’ve never once paid for a membership so don’t let the free account put you off. It took me over a year to find my Dom - seriously be patient. This is nothing like tinder dating. You have safety to consider, communication, rules, boundaries, dynamics, safe words etc. I can’t stress enough - PATIENCE. @sassybratt - look out for local munches to meet new people and keep meeting people on here. Eventually you’ll definitely be able to create your own network. But I’d suggest you and @vandalslut pick that conversation up elsewhere. And @stephen-1821 tell me the irony isn’t lost on you with that ridiculous comment.
Deleted Member Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 @sheridan some good flags spotted below. Generally, I wouldn’t invest time in anyone who has no pictures, a bare profile, doesn’t log in regularly and doesn’t reply. There’s no point in worrying about those people as they likely weren’t serious in the first place. Probably less likely to be fake accounts and more likely to be people who got a bit excited about BDSM one night and then forgot about even signing up. Keep the faith x
Deleted Member Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 Thank you Sophie. I'll keep that in mind!
Vandalslut Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 Even tho' I'm in the wrong section here, I'd just like to say that I give three cheers to SophieSub for her wisdom. I grew up pre-Interenet, pre-'social forum' and def' pre-Facebook (we still are pre-Facebook) and a very noticeable and notable thing about the internet age is that people who've only known this way of life do tend to be impatient for responses. A forum like this is not like Facebook where you can acquire a hundred friends a day. We found our way here by reading and responding as thoughtfully as possible to the threads/and or questions that pertained to our especial BDSM kinks, reading the fiction (DanteReign and Eyemblacksheep never let us readers down!), and certainly read the magazine articles, plenty of sensible, informative articles and advice there. The chat rooms can be quite hectic and we tend to wait til it's a bit quieter in there - but it's still a place of interest. You can make connections by this method. You can always begin a topic with a questions as well. There is a newbie section but at the moment it seems to be people just saying 'hi'. Why not start a question or thread in there? Wishing you well, SassyBratt and Sheridan.
ey**** Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 2 hours ago, Vandalslut said: Even tho' I'm in the wrong section here I don't think you are it's relevant to this discussion 2 hours ago, Vandalslut said: a very noticeable and notable thing about the internet age is that people who've only known this way of life do tend to be impatient for responses I started drafting a blog many months ago which I'm not sure if I completely scrapped or is sitting waiting for some TLC - but a lot discusses this. That we're in an age where - I can get a taxi, a pizza, whatever at a swipe on my phone. I can order shopping on my way home from work and it be waiting at home for me when I get there. I don't just think it's an age thing - but certainly an era thing that we're so used to getting what we want when we want it that some seem to apply that logic with kink. And, it's still something that (rightfully) still needs time, trust and good impressions. 2 hours ago, Vandalslut said: reading the fiction (DanteReign and Eyemblacksheep never let us readers down!) Thank you I'm a bit behind on fiction but might draft something up soon-ish. (might. soon-ish. haha)
Vandalslut Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 Yes, please - soon as, not soon-ish!! Yours always have a sting in the tale - or should it be tail?
Vandalslut Posted October 26, 2019 Posted October 26, 2019 19 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: I don't think you are it's relevant to this discussion I started drafting a blog many months ago which I'm not sure if I completely scrapped or is sitting waiting for some TLC - but a lot discusses this. That we're in an age where - I can get a taxi, a pizza, whatever at a swipe on my phone. I can order shopping on my way home from work and it be waiting at home for me when I get there. I don't just think it's an age thing - but certainly an era thing that we're so used to getting what we want when we want it that some seem to apply that logic with kink. And, it's still something that (rightfully) still needs time, trust and good impressions. Thank you I'm a bit behind on fiction but might draft something up soon-ish. (might. soon-ish. haha) That would be a really interesting blog so please resurrect it! I do a newsletter eight times a year for a coven and I've done an editorial on this exact topic. We are in an era where whether we grew up with it or not, we have come to expect instantness in everything, and I do mean everything. I understand that people starting on a kink journey want very much to meet a like-minded partner (the Vandal and I got lucky, we were like-minded and didn't know it! We do now ) and yes, a swipe or a tap will get us groceries, pizzas, a dress on ebay - but what's getting forgotten - anywhere - is that PEOPLE are not instant and they never will be. There was a ***age lad on this site (gone now) who bombarded us with personal messages and if we didn't answer immediately he had a hissy fit. WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING ME??? 2 nano-seconds after sending the message. He couldn't even figure out we were in two different time zones.
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