Femdom dating for submissive men

[LadyV]

12 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Why is it necessary for you to argue/tell two Dom women that their experiences are not their experiences?

I think he thinks women need to have it explained to us why men want us to fulfill men's fantasies as immediately as possible. 😂

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

 

Sub men have a serious misogyny problem they're failing to address within themselves, either by ignorance or intent, and it is harming their ability to relate and connect with Dominant women. 

[VoodooQueen_]

1 hour ago, photoiowa said:

Respectfully, I disagree,  I am simply trying to help you to understand WHY the subs tend to want their fantasies fulfilled without looking at the bigger more long lasting relationship picture. 

 

For the majority of submissive men online... They are approached by women who demand *** (tribute) creating a transactional event. It is now their Job. They have taken compensation in the form of currency for any sort of "relationship" with a submissive male... 

 

The Dominant woman that you describe so well are not in the majority and most certainly are not influencing the newer people in the scene who cannot identify the bad ones. I would argue that the submissive male having been exposed to the lessor first has their perception clouded. I started in munches and with some amazingly helpful, caring , and strong Dominant women who through their actions showed how it could be. I still struggle with the ramifications of those experiences. 

 

I am not saying the Dom women approach relationships this way I am saying a large number of male subs that I have seen both here and other sites do. The ones I have met in real life at munches and kink events do not so much. 

 

I guess the takehome. Online only male subs are partially conditioned to look at relationships as transactional involving cash exchange for the relationship. Female Dominants want a relationship that is long lasting with a good man or woman that more than a whipping post and well honed tongue skill.  Neither are not being made whole so they cannot see how to make someone else whole. Their is frustration on both sides and the obvious (to me) is get offline and get *** out of kink. 

So, guys want online relationships. Up to them. They're going to be targeted by scammers. Their pregorative. They need to learn how to deal with it

[LadyV]

https://www.fetish.com/my/LadyV//1718992270

 

I made a meme. It's in my public pics. Enjoy the relevancy. 

Edited June 21 by LadyV

[Un****]

Yep. 99% of the interaction I have are women who want *** and I'm not even a sub. Shit has gotten completely shameless. They just act like a cunt and expect to get paid.

[VoodooQueen_]

Intriguing how male subs never interact with F emDoms on here but are happy to share

[VoodooQueen_]

Their wank fantasies will h everyone

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, VoodooQueen-9510 said:

Intriguing how male subs never interact with F emDoms on here but are happy to share

It's even more interesting how many only ever appear to interact with the Findommes here.
Maybe because they have this 'need' for instant gratification??

[LadyV]

It's wild cause like...none of the D-type chicks here have said or done shit related to "demanding ***." 

 

We're just also not serving men's fantasies or acting "porny" for men's enjoyment. We're pointing out the reality that if you want a specific fantasy met asap, you're gonna have to find and pay a pro cause lifestyle Dominants don't do that. 

 

But fuck us for wanting to be seen and treated like real people I guess. 🙄

[Un****]

Fake doms are going to fake Dom. Don't let them get away with it just because they are an attractive woman. Asking for *** is the sign to turn and run.

[ge****]

12 minutes ago, Underdark said:

If they are asking for *** they are not a Dom. They are a whore. They need your *** more than you need what they are selling. Don't fall for it.

So using that logic - is a legal expert who asks for *** not a lawyer? Is someone who designs buildings and expects payment not an architect?
.
There's a distinct difference between a ProDomme and someone just out to part you with your ***. Yes ProDommes see it as their job and expect payment for it - but they provide a service to those that choose to use them, just as any other service provider does - doesn't make them any less of a Domme though.
.
In fact any reputable ProDomme is usually still quite selective as to who their clients are and expect a level of knowledge and care from any submissives applying to use their services.
.
Yes ProDommes aren't for everyone, I certainly would find it difficult to go to one, but they do provide an option for some.

[CopperKnob]

8 minutes ago, Underdark said:

I guess that means they should be exploited? How can anything justify that? That's just pure narcissistic evil.

Men are, to use your word 'desperate' because women are more aware of their worth, we're also no longer dependent upon marriage to access mortgages/our own accommodation or to have financial security. As a response, women are asking men to do better, we're no longer accepting the bare minimum of them going to work. Women are no longer tolerating shitty relationships.
.
That's why men are 'desperate.'
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The 'bad sex, no sex' thread is enough of a hint that there are many men that will tolerate bad sex just so that they get to have sex. It's meaningless to them as long as they get that 'want' met so, if some men choose to pay for it, let them. They aren't being exploited, they're fully aware of the transaction they're entering.
.
Truth be told, if some men gave more to the relationships they're in or want to be in, they wouldn't be so 'desperate'

[Un****]

5 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

So using that logic - is a legal expert who asks for *** not a lawyer? Is someone who designs buildings and expects payment not an architect?
.
There's a distinct difference between a ProDomme and someone just out to part you with your ***. Yes ProDommes see it as their job and expect payment for it - but they provide a service to those that choose to use them, just as any other service provider does - doesn't make them any less of a Domme though.
.
In fact any reputable ProDomme is usually still quite selective as to who their clients are and expect a level of knowledge and care from any submissives applying to use their services.
.
Yes ProDommes aren't for everyone, I certainly would find it difficult to go to one, but they do provide an option for some.

It's just prostitution. It's specialized prostitution but that's what it is. They aren't being a Dom. They are faking it for a client.

Comparing a lawer to this is disingenuous. Nobody is approaching someone for legal advise for the sake of intimacy or romantic partnership. There's no sexual exploitation.

Most of these "pro dommes" are just exploiting desperate men. They are creating a one sided connection that isn't real and claiming that other doms are "fake doms" or that the negative experiences men have are only because of "fake doms" and that they are the "real dom" they should be paying.

Pointing out the difference between prostitution and a relationship is healthy. It hurts their wallets and potential pool of clients though and that's why they start victim blaming and gaslighting as they have above.

[Un****]

Shaming men into supporting prostitution is an insane practice. Don't fall for it. You are all better than that.

[CopperKnob]

1 minute ago, Underdark said:

Shaming men into supporting prostitution is an insane practice. Don't fall for it. You are all better than that.

Prostitution wouldn't exist if there was no market for it. Give your head a wobble.

[Un****]

8 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

Men are, to use your word 'desperate' because women are more aware of their worth, we're also no longer dependent upon marriage to access mortgages/our own accommodation or to have financial security. As a response, women are asking men to do better, we're no longer accepting the bare minimum of them going to work. Women are no longer tolerating shitty relationships.
.
That's why men are 'desperate.'
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The 'bad sex, no sex' thread is enough of a hint that there are many men that will tolerate bad sex just so that they get to have sex. It's meaningless to them as long as they get that 'want' met so, if some men choose to pay for it, let them. They aren't being exploited, they're fully aware of the transaction they're entering.
.
Truth be told, if some men gave more to the relationships they're in or want to be in, they wouldn't be so 'desperate'

Keep gaslighting. There's no relationship to be had when the majority of interactions are "give me ***".

You're mad that I'm separating these things and helping other men make better choices and find what they want instead of shaming them into giving up and paying prostitutes for a few minutes of intimacy that isn't even real to begin with.

[Un****]

Just to be clear:

If you want a hooker then pay a hooker. Nothing wrong with that.

If you want a relationship then don't fall for any of this crap. You have to realize their income relies on you being weak and desperate so they will gaslight you into acting weak and desperate. Don't fall for it. You are better than that. What they are offering you is not real and will never be real.

[CopperKnob]

4 minutes ago, Underdark said:

Keep gaslighting. There's no relationship to be had when the majority of interactions are "give me ***".

You're mad that I'm separating these things and helping other men make better choices and find what they want instead of shaming them into giving up and paying prostitutes for a few minutes of intimacy that isn't even real to begin with.

I'm not mad at all, I'm just enjoying you say foolish things.
There is nothing wrong with men paying sex workers of any description 🙄

[ge****]

12 minutes ago, Underdark said:

It's just prostitution. It's specialized prostitution but that's what it is. They aren't being a Dom. They are faking it for a client.

Comparing a lawer to this is disingenuous. Nobody is approaching someone for legal advise for the sake of intimacy or romantic partnership. There's no sexual exploitation.

Most of these "pro dommes" are just exploiting desperate men. They are creating a one sided connection that isn't real and claiming that other doms are "fake doms" or that the negative experiences men have are only because of "fake doms" and that they are the "real dom" they should be paying.

Pointing out the difference between prostitution and a relationship is healthy. It hurts their wallets and potential pool of clients though and that's why they start victim blaming and gaslighting as they have above.

It may be geographically dependent but in many countries providing Dominatrix services isn't legally considered prostitution actually.
.
Whether they're faking it or not is irrelevant - if the client gets what they are looking for from the service provided is all that matters.
.
Arguably a customer service assistant in a store with a smile plastered over their face and full of "Have a nice days" is faking it, yet they're not considered any less of a customer service assistant as long as their customers are happy - so I really don't see the distinction.
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Most reputable ProDommes aren't exploiting men in the slightest - they're not forcing men to seek out their services or pay for them - and if those men are happy to go to them, again I don't understand the problem.
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Reality is there are many lifestyle Dommes who don't expect payment, who are looking for relationships etc - but sadly many men have totally the wrong idea about how to find them and approach them, and it's through their own acts that they become desperate and frustrated when the tools to avoid that are all within their own hands.

[Un****]

9 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

It may be geographically dependent but in many countries providing Dominatrix services isn't legally considered prostitution actually.
.
Whether they're faking it or not is irrelevant - if the client gets what they are looking for from the service provided is all that matters.
.
Arguably a customer service assistant in a store with a smile plastered over their face and full of "Have a nice days" is faking it, yet they're not considered any less of a customer service assistant as long as their customers are happy - so I really don't see the distinction.
.
Most reputable ProDommes aren't exploiting men in the slightest - they're not forcing men to seek out their services or pay for them - and if those men are happy to go to them, again I don't understand the problem.
.
Reality is there are many lifestyle Dommes who don't expect payment, who are looking for relationships etc - but sadly many men have totally the wrong idea about how to find them and approach them, and it's through their own acts that they become desperate and frustrated when the tools to avoid that are all within their own hands.

The shaming in here already proves your point wrong.

Legality has little to do with anything other than what you can go to prison for. A hooker is a hooker.

You're right. They don't have to. So what's wrong with pointing out the differences between a hooker and a Dom who is offering a real connection? The fact that if they know the difference they might stop paying. That's why they move to shaming.

[Un****]

Before you let the gaslighting distract you...


Real doms aren't going to ask you for ***. If they ask you for ***, they are not going to make a connection with you. They only want your ***. If you want a real sub/Dom connection then avoid anyone asking you for ***.


If you want a few moments of fun then pay a hooker for a few moments of fun.


Don't get the two mixed up and don't fall for the shaming tactics used by the person trying to sell you something.

[ge****]

1 hour ago, Underdark said:

Before you let the gaslighting distract you...


Real doms aren't going to ask you for ***. If they ask you for ***, they are not going to make a connection with you. They only want your ***. If you want a real sub/Dom connection then avoid anyone asking you for ***.


If you want a few moments of fun then pay a hooker for a few moments of fun.


Don't get the two mixed up and don't fall for the shaming tactics used by the person trying to sell you something.

So people expressing different opinions from your own is gaslighting?
.
As for "real" doms - the only person that gets to define what a "real" dominant is, is the person engaging with them - and for the record many ProDommes have regular customers who go back time and again for their services - does that make them any less real? Does that mean they don't form a level of connection, albeit a very transactional "in the moment" one?
.
I think you'll also find most ProDommes don't *only* want your ***, they want customer satisfaction, they want to provide a good service and more - sure ultimately they want paying for the service they provide too, but to say it's the *only* thing they want is not right.
.
And there is no shame in using a ProDomme, just as there is no shame in not doing so, it's ultimately personal choice.

[ey****]

gosh there's been a lot to unpack since this morning, but here goes.

On *this site* asking for *** (or offering ***) in all forms is not permitted.  So if anyone does it, just end the convo and hit report

In the wider sphere.  And form of a "real Doms..." is a set up to fail; it's a form of no true Scotsman fallacy.   But also when it comes to *** - straw scenario - you meet someone online and have good vibes and do the whole meeting for a coffee thing - you both talk about fetishes and what sort of things interest you in a dynamic and there's overlap. Hurray.  But, while there are assorted "kink on a budget" options, most things are going to cost ***, like if it's a fetish for leather or latex, if it's a desire for impact play, pegging, so on - these all cost *** and someone has to pay for it.  And - I'm talking generally here rather than specific but it's amazing how many men - say - "want to try" pegging, but have never bought anal toys to train, haven't even learnt to douche - so, is this an expectation that the lady will already own everything?  

And kink costs ***.  

Regarding those who work professionally; the thing is if this is a route you don't want to go down - don't let it bother you.  It's not your concern.   Sex work in many guises has thousands of years of history and will go on for thousands more - and for many reasons.   There's a lot of different types of client with a lot of different backgrounds.  

Equally; sites like this one are under attack from assorted legislation in the EU, UK, US, Canada and more.  Do you know who is fighting against these legislations? Sex workers.

This doesn't mean you have to go see one (even if what they offer is the right option for some people) but too many people are quick to throw shade on something they pretend to understand.  

But ultimately, the existence of sex workers impacts nil on anyone's ability to find a relationship.

 

[Un****]

5 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

So people expressing different opinions from your own is gaslighting?
.
As for "real" doms - the only person that gets to define what a "real" dominant is, is the person engaging with them - and for the record many ProDommes have regular customers who go back time and again for their services - does that make them any less real? Does that mean they don't form a level of connection, albeit a very transactional "in the moment" one?
.
I think you'll also find most ProDommes don't *only* want your ***, they want customer satisfaction, they want to provide a good service and more - sure ultimately they want paying for the service they provide too, but to say it's the *only* thing they want is not right.
.
And there is no shame in using a ProDomme, just as there is no shame in not doing so, it's ultimately personal choice.

No it's when they misconstrue my words or are disingenuous to themselves.

Everyone who is selling wants customer satisfaction. That's how you sell them more.

I never said there was shame in it. I only pointed out what it is. Something about that is super triggering for a lot of people here.

[Th****]

3 hours ago, photoiowa said:

Respectfully, I disagree,  I am simply trying to help you to understand WHY the subs tend to want their fantasies fulfilled without looking at the bigger more long lasting relationship picture. 

 

For the majority of submissive men online... They are approached by women who demand *** (tribute) creating a transactional event. It is now their Job. They have taken compensation in the form of currency for any sort of "relationship" with a submissive male... 

 

The Dominant woman that you describe so well are not in the majority and most certainly are not influencing the newer people in the scene who cannot identify the bad ones. I would argue that the submissive male having been exposed to the lessor first has their perception clouded. I started in munches and with some amazingly helpful, caring , and strong Dominant women who through their actions showed how it could be. I still struggle with the ramifications of those experiences. 

 

I am not saying the Dom women approach relationships this way I am saying a large number of male subs that I have seen both here and other sites do. The ones I have met in real life at munches and kink events do not so much. 

 

I guess the takehome. Online only male subs are partially conditioned to look at relationships as transactional involving cash exchange for the relationship. Female Dominants want a relationship that is long lasting with a good man or woman that more than a whipping post and well honed tongue skill.  Neither are not being made whole so they cannot see how to make someone else whole. Their is frustration on both sides and the obvious (to me) is get offline and get *** out of kink. 

Do you seriously think we don't know the why's and how's here? Telling Dom women they're wrong about their own lived experiences is not a good look. 

The reason "sub" men have so much trouble is because they don't actually take the time and care to educate themselves on how Dom/sub relationships work and the ins and outs of kink and bdsm. 

If you're going on a road trip and don't look up how to get there and don't follow the road signs and just drive, there's only yourself to blame for getting lost or driving off a cliff at night for driving without direction and no headlights. If you're also trying to drive to a place that doesn't exist, you'll never get there. 

The amount of completely FREE education that's out there is immense. Not to mention people like the Dom women here and all over the place telling those who seek them what they need to do in order to achieve what it is they seek. Genuine lifestyle Dom women aren't as rare as it seems, it's just that most are cleverly hidden and don't wish to be found, they do the finding and if the man has done their homework they know how to determine if she's really who they seek. It's really not that complicated. 

[ey****]

4 hours ago, photoiowa said:

I would offer a differing way to look at this... If you feel like you are a giving person. While at the same time being ***d to repress your wants/needs (will not open that can of worms). It may be difficult to accept that "just as good" is worth the effort.... For example.. When I have to something built for me and we have to go through a design process routinely the people working with me will offer options that are just as good as what I asked for but NOT what I wanted/needed. 

I think actually one thing I will say and this is somewhat of an agreement; given kink/fetish is a want (not a need as such) there is no obligation to enter into a relationship you don't feel you would be happy with - but then this becomes something where you have to also learn to be happy with solitude.  I think this is where some men can struggle.

In these cases you have to first accept you might not get what you want and therefore have to be happy being single.

But simultantiously second, looking what you can do to help make this happen - which, for example hoping the nice lady in accounts will Domme you is a nice idea, but she might not be won round even if she agrees to a date - but partaking in fetish munches/events/etc you at least know the people there are at least kink curious - and someone who is potentially curious has potential, providing what they are curious about aligns with what you feel you might want.

In some cases mind, there is the question of "this is what I want - what does the other person get out of this?" (because even if there's stuff they enjoy, stuff can be laborious) and actually, do you really want this?  Because there's another trope of a lot of men saying they want a Dominant woman; until they actually have one