Issues starting a conversation

[Mi****]

Honestly the message itself is ok. Decent enough in my opinion to respond to. However, you only have one picture and it's looks extremely professional. Yes you look nice, but it looks like it's meant for a company photo rather than a dating profile. Something a little more personal or sensual may for better for this app.
Also, your profile is very minimal. Granted you have the basics filled out and you know exactly what your looking for for, but you have no discrimination about yourself. You need something for others to know more about you. Just like you picked up information to ask about on their profile, you should do something similar.
Personally, when I respond to a message that has questions I only respond to those questions and maybe a Hello. I don't feel obligated to carry the conversation when it was YOU who reached out and were interested. As was explained earlier, if you have nothing in your profile I can't ask questions that will lead to knowing you better rather than just generic questions. It may seem like an open dialogue, but you have to keep in mind not only the type of questions you ask; if it's too personal, or they don't feel it'll lead into the type of relationship/conversation they want to have.
There is the fact that you're not their type which is an unfortunate fact to consider, but is something that will happen. And if they get lots of messages, a profile picture can be a quick yes or no just as much as a quick scan of a profile.
My recommendation as someone who's turned people down or not responded? Add more to your profile. Change you profile picture to something more inviting of what you want, be it flirty or sensual or just a classic face pic. Add something more to your gallery even if it's just hobbies or something. Add even just a short description of what you're looking for on here. What you want out of the relationship your looking for, something you're looking for in somebody, and definitely add limits. If your profile says you're in a non-monogamous relationship then expand on that, a detail some appreciate when looking for specifics.

[Deleted Member]

I was kinda the same the first time I tried dating sites. At some point I just kinda stopped trying to find romance, sex, or anything like that. I just kinda started treating it like social media, and talked to people like they were in a Reddit thread, or something. I didn’t talk about love, romance, sex, or any thing like that. I just met people, and hung out with them online. I got more results from that than anything else. My wife, and I found eachother on Plenty of Fish over a decade ago. We chatted for probably 6 months before we even met up. She was extremely confused after the coffee date when I gave her a handshake, and relieved when I called her the next day to set up another date. She still hasn’t let me live that down, but honestly it’s probably what kept her thinking of me at the time lol.
I met hundreds of friends, and couple of love interests that went no where, and one wife. A lot of those friends I still talk to today, and some are some of my wife’s best friends now.
Presentation helps definitely, but it’s not every thing
Keep your profile complete, but simple. Don’t give up to much info. Let her imagination fill in the gaps, and leave her the opportunity to ask about you. Pics use pics of you smiling even if you don’t like them they will.
Women are inundated with love interests so don’t be that guy. Let them lead to begin with. They have a lot to be concerned with as far as dating is concerned so give them the control they need to feel safe.
Don’t be an eager beaver.
If it takes her two weeks to respond so be it. If she never responds then move on.
It took my wife two years to respond to my message. She would have blocked me if I had pushed to hard.
The best two pieces of advice I have ever received.
My grandad said shut up it took 5 years to realize that was advice lol,
And one of my best friends told me to relax
The odds are against men, and women. There are trillions of possible combinations, and out comes. There’s a good chance this will go no where. So just relax, and enjoy your time here.
Jump into the chats, and start making friends with men, and women. That will better serve you than popping in the dm’s. Women detest men popping in the dm’s a lot of the time.

[Di****]

It read out like a email to me that Id be responding to from work, formal and didn’t grabbed my attention. Id also suggest making your first message shorter and just mention a couple of the things you said to talk about

[Deleted Member]

Honestly, I just read their profile, make an offer to engage in discussion about how we could make something work and leave it alone. Some reply, some don't. Realize that most women on any dating app are here for attention and nothing more. Most men are here to bust a nut once or twice and nothing more. Very, very few are here for anything more. Or on any app.

[Sh****]

It does kind of read very formal, maybe try being a little more laid-back? I’m incredibly bad at starting conversations myself though so I don’t know how helpful my advice is going to be LOL 

[Deleted Member]

Msgs like that are very mechanical. There's no thought or feeling in mechanical. Which absolutely tells me that u just want sex, to feel nothing but for yourself.
I won't even acknowledge a msg like that.
You are trying to pull someone, it needs to be real conversation.
Just my 2 cents. Good luck.

[ge****]

Lots of good advice already OP - one angle that doesn't appear to have been covered though is your approach - probably the hardest way to try and interact with people on sites like this is sending blind messages to people you've never interacted with before, so find other ways...
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...getting involved in the forums on a regular basis is one, getting along to local Munches and kink events is another - in all my time using sites like this I've sent less than a handful of blind messages and yet I chat to a number of people on a regular basis and have done so by doing both of the above and have no complaints about my experience.
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Also don't making meeting someone your primary aim here - take the view that you're looking to network and get to know people while increasing your knowledge of kink as a primary intent and if that happens to develop to something "more" that it's a pleasant additional benefit.

[Or****]

Honestly I think your approach has merit you take the time to read the persons profile which I can say is more than what most men do. I personally respond to most people based on what they say and if our interests align. Though I sometimes find it hard to reply
When someone messages with something that has no merit or interest behind what they send. Such as when a man sends something like he wants me to put on lingerie band peg him. It’s hard to respond as my profile shows no interest in that. So if your interests aligned I don’t see why they wouldn’t respond unless they look at your profile and don’t decide they aren’t attracted to you or maybe you are too far away for their liking? Possibly add some more pictures and information about yourself.

[Deleted Member]

I always read profiles but main issues are women are sswamped. I get very few messages

[Ha****]

Agree with others that it's a bit mechanical and you're just filling in blanks, but it's good to read the profile. Try imagining their bio as an opening message I itself and fully react on it, rather than it reading like a cover letter for an employer. It's more effort, and can seem like too much if you've not had a good response rate, but the returns do tend to be a lot better. If it's a blank profile, we'll then you just have to get creative aha.

Worth remembering that a lot of feminine presenting people have probably gotten a larger volume of messages than ourselves and from what I've been shown by people on this site, probably have defences up already from terrible chat experiences! So the more human and interesting you can appear in that first message, the better

[kimutu72]

maybe a simple " hi" see if you get a response or like a pic or something on their profile, when someone messages me I will always look on their profile to see what they are " advertising" do I think they would be a match? are we looking for the same thing? is their age or distance right? then I would look at their pics, would I be attracted to that person? what do their pics say about them?, are their pics about them bending over, kneeling, dick pics, so its not just about the approach its how your profile " sells you". Hope that helps from a womans (well my) point of view, but we are all different. Good luck

[Ad****]

Let's cut to the chase, most people on here are just time wasters. No two ways about it. It's also a reflection of the times we are in right now.

[la****]

A lot of women believe they turn into Goddess when they go online 😂 jk .

[Deleted Member]

Are you timing out the messages ?? For.example .. send the message when the person is online vs just sending a message without knowing if they are currently online or not

[91****]

I'm with Oriana here...your message appears to be researched and specific, stating multiple variables to form a possible connection. Last thing I'd call your message is mechanical, being so specific for said person

[me****]

So me as a woman, if a man sends me a message the first thing I do is I go on their profile and read it. If your profile doesn’t have at least 3-4 pictures of yourself, and not a decent description of what you want or like etc, I’ll lose the interest. But I look for someone super engaging. If your profile can’t engage me in some shape or form, in my mind, you won’t engage me in person. But that is strictly my opinion

[St****]

As someone lucky enough to have found a partner to be on this journey in life with, the best piece of advice I could offer would be to easy up on the icebreaker. I'm not saying just go and change everything up. Just like when driving, you never want to just floor it. First apply the big toe (if you have a large foot, the pinky toe) gently, then proceeded to place whole foot firmly on pedal in a smooth like fashion. I personally see nothing wrong with your approach. However, as mentioned by Sappire83 the Message would be viewed as quite Mechanical, devoid of feeling and emotion. I know you already have that with someone so that also presents other issues. Women don't want to be viewed as second choice, and why should they. So when engaging conversations with a potential partner, maybe be more soft in your approach. Perhaps start of with topics to better help you understand what the other person may be looking for, I would typically like to converse over the phone for about a week or two before attempting to meet in person. I hope some if any of what I mentioned helps you. There is munch this world has to offer, you only need to reach out and grab it.

[Da****]

Slow down. Create some wonder. Treat it like an IRL encounter. Like a dance.

Start with “Hello. I’m . Nice to meet you. 😊

Lead the conversation with individual inquiries, rather than dump all that on someone. Let it unfold…

[CopperKnob]

I don't want to read through 33 others comments so what I say may be a repeat of others.
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Believe it or not, I'm socially awkward, when people ask "care to chat" or the like I feel do much pressure.
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You're clear taking a good approach, reading profiles, filtering who to message or not but then the actual message, I feel falls short. Ask them questions based on their profile.
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Lastly, I typically do not reply to messages from men that I've not seen or interacted with in the forums. Could you be a little more involved? People base opinions on others based on how they come across in social settings

[no****]

Do as above but try adding in an about me that shows some of your personality. When trying to find a sub you need them to feel safe in your presence anything mechanical sounding or lack of personality/ feeling is not giving that confident vibe a woman needs to reach out.

[Do****]

Ok... I've been on and off online sites for many years, and here's what another man sees. You are doing it RIGHT, no matter what others say. You're thoughtful and insightful... as well as showing you've read the profile. So, what's the problem? It's all the men that came before you. They treated them poorly. That, combined with the fact that EVERY site like this is set up so the women get a maximum number of potential individuals, while men keep reaching out, is the problem. I got lucky... I found my perfect match. Trust me... what you're looking for is out there. Maybe look into finding some munches to attend... a lifestyle friendly meet and greet. I'll bet you'll have a much better chance of finding what you're looking for there than online.

[Da****]

As a woman, I find that what you are doing is RIGHT! That was what attracted me to my Daddy/BF. He tried to TALK to me and not send me a gross message. It's not mechanical at all, and I think it's exactly how people should approach each other on these sites. If you were to message me, I would very nicely reply back, letting you know my status and what I was looking for. Women who don't appreciate this are just not worth your time. So take it as a way to weed out the garbage. Keep shooting your shot, and you will find someone worth your time and effort! 🤗

[Deleted Member]

7 hours ago, Adventurer_45 said:

Let's cut to the chase, most people on here are just time wasters. No two ways about it. It's also a reflection of the times we are in right now.

Yup ..... Most dating sites and lifestyle sites ... attention seekers
.I agree

[Deleted Member]

I do apologize if I offended you.
I was only stating my personal experience.

I wish you well.

[Co****]

1 hour ago, BBCDaddyDom said:

Yup ..... Most dating sites and lifestyle sites ... attention seekers
.I agree

Those seeking external validation are red flaggers for sure. I realize that on some level we all enjoy being recognized and appreciate for whatever reasons…then there are those who’s mood depends on it.