Deleted Member Posted April 13 Posted April 13 Not new to D/s, but relatively new to exploring the appeal of DD/lg. Psychologically speaking, there's so much that makes sense about it in that it provides a strong sense of safety and security for littles to be more open and *** as subs in general, but I'm curious about what the biggest draws are from both sides of the slash who play with this dynamic. What turns you on about being a caregiver or a little? What do you get out of it most and what are your primary takeaways/goals with those roles?
GodofPunishment Posted April 14 Posted April 14 What I enjoy most about having a sub/little is caring for her and giving her pleasure in all sorts of ways. Her submission comes very easily after that, and I consider that as my reward. I give her tons of attention. She is constantly telling me that I am the best Daddy ever.
Da**** Posted April 14 Posted April 14 For me I am a natural caregiver and enjoy being needed and appreciated. However like many of us I do not sexualize the little space. I enjoy giving my sub a place where she feels she is cared for , appreciated and loved in whatever space she is in…so when she is not in the little head space I do enjoy her sexually but never when she is being a little
br**** Posted April 14 Posted April 14 I enjoy it cause I get to give the affection I never received care giving gives me pleasure I’m not necessarily attracted to littles but it lets me give my little a comfortable space to express them selfs and I enjoy when they show me there *** side especially the cuddles after a scene and being able to give them my sold caregiving side cause in my work space I have to be jaded in a way
GL**** Posted April 14 Posted April 14 For me there is nothing sexual with the dynamic. I will give you an example… I like to create a little space room. In that space there will be all the things that help make that person feel little. It can be things like coloring books, crayons, arts and craft stuff, dolls,stuffies, movies and video games. I usually try to find my person‘s favorite toy when they were little for whatever age they like to regress to, if regressing is something that they do. Not all Litttles or middles regress. I’ve done tea parties. We’ve made decorated pacifiers together. I used to have a fake kitchen with fake food. Lots of outfits for them to choose from. Since I’m in control out of the little space room,I usually let them have some control in that space if they choose. I will fetch their favorite snacks or drinks. change their video game or movie for them. Cuddles on command. Read bedtime stories so they can take a nap. I have a bubble machine so they could take a bubble bath with toys and have real bubbles floating around. It all really depends on what being little to that person means for them on how I create things. I get pleasure from seeing my person enjoy the world I created for them. It shows I pay attention to everything they’ve told me they wanted or needed. It shows I truly cared by putting in the time and effort. This is usually just a small part of a longer session that could last a few days on a cation.Most of the time it’s in the morning. I will do like breakfast in bed. When they are down being in little space, we go on to other things. I will always have activities planned that I know they will enjoy. I usually get a place where I can have different themed rooms. It’s al about creating a fun safe environment and atmosphere for us to both thrive in. Little space is just little piece of a bigger cake we are creating together. It’s all about the afterglow for me when the cake is finished. There used to be no better feeling than swim that glow from my person.
GL**** Posted April 14 Posted April 14 There is no better feeling than seeing that glow in my person*
4g**** Posted April 14 Posted April 14 Every little is different. Every daddy is too I’m sure. I am a born leader, people gravitate to me. I enjoy being able to help in many ways. My littles are diverse. I can’t speak for them but I am catering to their needs as long as I too find it gratifying in some way. Great question, personally if there isn’t a spark then it won’t go anywhere. For me, I am looking for long term relationships as I have had for decades with some. For me it’s doing things that make them happy ( fill their kinks ) and myself happy too. (My kinks) Just like any other long term dynamic, just with extra layers. Which makes it even a stronger bond in my opinion than a conventional couple…
b0**** Posted April 14 Posted April 14 I think if both people feel safe and cared for, in both their sexual and emotional needs the sex is better. They are more comfortable to explore and try new things because there is trust, respect and safety. I need that sense of safety and openess. I dont want to feel like I need to hide aspects of my emotions , especially if im so open with someone sexually. That can make me feel used, and not in a good way.
DemonCandy Posted April 15 Posted April 15 13 hours ago, b00b00kitttty said: I think if both people feel safe and cared for, in both their sexual and emotional needs the sex is better. They are more comfortable to explore and try new things because there is trust, respect and safety. I need that sense of safety and openess. I dont want to feel like I need to hide aspects of my emotions , especially if im so open with someone sexually. That can make me feel used, and not in a good way. Totally agree, that is where I am at. What I didn't know that it is part of the dd/lg kink and that it has so much depth.
jackass12 Posted April 15 Posted April 15 I have found exactly what b00b00kittty was saying about Safety to be true in our DD/ig play, there is a huge part for safety and what works best for me is listen to my sub. Doesn’t matter if Dom doesn’t get it. sub is anxious about it so it’s real. Ropes help a lot. Which is nice and always fun. I can see her posture change and know she feels more safe.
RainbowTea Posted April 19 Posted April 19 (edited) I second b00b00kittty, I absolutely need to feel safe and close to a Daddy Dom before I can enter into anything sexual with them. I need a deep connection otherwise I just can't enjoy anything sexual. The biggest draws for me are what makes Daddy Doms actual, real Caregiver Doms. The gentle, nurturing, caregiving style and desire actual Caregiver Doms have. Dominating in the soft way is like an art form that few can master. It's easy to be bossy and harsh when dominating, much harder to find ways to dominate with gentleness and sensuality - and I can't help admiring that and those kinds of Doms. Those who can do it earn my respect far quicker than other types of Doms. There's just something about that style of domination that really does it for me. There's nothing greater than feeling safe in someone's arms and having someone you can run to and lean on, especially at your most ***, and knowing you can trust them to catch you and lift you up instead of tearing you down. That juxtaposition of domination with being gentle and nurturing is so sexy to me. 🤌🏻 The harsh/strict styles of domination (especially sadism) are too mentally and emotionally abrasive and would only make me shut down or nope out. Those discourage my submission. Gentle nurturing domination encourages it. That saying "you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar" is a good way to put it. Edited April 19 by RainbowTea Typos and edited sentences
DemonCandy Posted April 19 Posted April 19 3 hours ago, RainbowTea said: I second b00b00kittty, I absolutely need to feel safe and close to a Daddy Dom before I can enter into anything sexual with them. I need a deep connection otherwise I just can't enjoy anything sexual. The biggest draws for me are what makes Daddy Doms actual, real Caregiver Doms. The gentle, nurturing, caregiving style and desire actual Caregiver Doms have. Dominating in the soft way is like an art form that few can master. It's easy to be bossy and harsh when dominating, much harder to find ways to dominate with gentleness and sensuality - and I can't help admiring that and those kinds of Doms. Those who can do it earn my respect far quicker than other types of Doms. There's just something about that style of domination that really does it for me. There's nothing greater than feeling safe in someone's arms and having someone you can run to and lean on, especially at your most ***, and knowing you can trust them to catch you and lift you up instead of tearing you down. That juxtaposition of domination with being gentle and nurturing is so sexy to me. 🤌🏻 The harsh/strict styles of domination (especially sadism) are too mentally and emotionally abrasive and would only make me shut down or nope out. Those discourage my submission. Gentle nurturing domination encourages it. That saying "you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar" is a good way to put it. I need exactly this, where do I find this? I am deperate for this. The dominant doesn't exactly have to be "daddy" but this is the dynamic I like.
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