Info

[TheBookCollector]

1 hour ago, davemiller1988 said:

Site link for help for newbies like myself? Or most desired would be hands on training. You do dates and meets

Munches and other events will be able to point you to local classes or have people willing to mentor you.

[Pe****]

Ms Elle X and Evie lupine on YouTube are really great too as well as some of the comments here.

Also Google for information on the BDSM lifestyle

[Th****]

4 hours ago, davemiller1988 said:

Site link for help for newbies like myself? Or most desired would be hands on training. You do dates and meets

This site unfortunately doesn't allow us to share links which is really frustrating because there are so many really excellent educational organizations out there. 

There are lots of opportunities for hands on workshops. Fetlife is really the best place to search local community things and regional. It's nit uncommon to have to travel a bit for in person depending on your area 

Edited April 18 by ThaliaV

[Th****]

A lot of people are saying it depends on what you're into. Well.... new people don't even know all the possibilities and options so how are they going to know what they're into? 

Yes, it's all customizable but there are a whole lot of basics and 101 level stuff that's pretty universal, things like safety, how munches and events work, basic etiquette and vocabulary. It's also best to get information from many resources and cross reference so you can determine if the information you're getting is good information or not. 

Fetlife has an events section where you can tab between conventions, play parties, munches and educational opportunities (many of witch are virtual/online). If you look up Wicked Grounds and TES on fetlife they are both orgs that offer tins of education for many different educators. TES is the oldest org in the US. 

There are also many people on fetlife who have compiled lists of resources (WITH LINKS!) for massive amounts of information. You can search specific tags like "newbies" and "education" there as well where people have tagged their resource lists 

Edited April 18 by ThaliaV

[Th****]

3 hours ago, PervyPenelope said:

Ms Elle X and Evie lupine on YouTube are really great too as well as some of the comments here.

Also Google for information on the BDSM lifestyle

I have mixed feelings about some of miss Elle X stuff but some is just personal style and preference differences, I like most of Evie Lupine's info, Morgan Thorne is another good one, others to check out are Sunny Megatron, Kinky Sam Jones, I forget if Midori has a YouTube or not, Kat Blaque, Watts the Safeword

Podcasts there's 

Loving BDSM

What the kink

 

[LM****]

What the kink

[Deleted Member]

Domination and Submission by Michael Makai
BDSM basics for beginners by Michelle Fegatofi

[TheBookCollector]

2 hours ago, wickednew said:

Domination and Submission by Michael Makai
BDSM basics for beginners by Michelle Fegatofi

I have a problem with the Michael Makai books, given his history.with law en***ment.and trafficking charges, which granted didnt stick due to a technicallity, but thats still a red flag.

[Pe****]

Thursday at 04:02 PM, ThaliaV said:

I have mixed feelings about some of miss Elle X stuff but some is just personal style and preference differences, I like most of Evie Lupine's info, Morgan Thorne is another good one, others to check out are Sunny Megatron, Kinky Sam Jones, I forget if Midori has a YouTube or not, Kat Blaque, Watts the Safeword

Podcasts there's 

Loving BDSM

What the kink

 

Oh I LOVE watts the safe word!! Those 2 are just so suited and sooo funny!
I’ll be sure to check out the others!!

[Th****]

57 minutes ago, PervyPenelope said:

Oh I LOVE watts the safe word!! Those 2 are just so suited and sooo funny!
I’ll be sure to check out the others!!

Not all are my favorites but they all mostly seem to be decent and a variety from both sides of the slash

[Bl****]

The Ultimate Guide to Kink

[si****]

Mostly learned from experience myself tho are few sites with some decent teachings for both dom and sub , just depends on what your style/kinks are as to what's best

[Deleted Member]

Fetlife is a great community site with groups dedicated to any anf all kinks. Nothing like getting experiential views and info.

[Mr****]

If it hasn't been suggested, "Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns" is a really good read for people new to the lifestyle

[Deleted Member]

(Might be late to answer) Searching EventBrite and similar networking sites for local Kink 101/Introduction events can do wonders for nerves and disillusionment. I recommend seeking out vanilla/non-kink attire events for a casual feel of the community first. 🙂

[Th****]

4 hours ago, Minuette said:

(Might be late to answer) Searching EventBrite and similar networking sites for local Kink 101/Introduction events can do wonders for nerves and disillusionment. I recommend seeking out vanilla/non-kink attire events for a casual feel of the community first. 🙂

This is actually a really good recommendation. There are lots of online educational opportunities to be found there as well. I know of several organizers and educators who use eventbrite for ticketing then use Zoom for their live webinars. 

[Da****]

I can tell you a hundred ways to learn and a thousand references to the Lifestyle. But what none of it will do, is actually teach you how to discover yourself. You can take hundreds of polls and help discover your likes and dislikes, your needs and wants, even your desires... But until you find someone willing to experiment and explore with you, it's all useless information.
Here's your first lesson though... Every single person alive or dead, creates their own version of what and how BDSM and or the Dominant/submissive dynamic is created (which basically means what's right for you might not be right for anyone else.) You can use books like "the Loving Dominant," or "Screw the Roses, Give Me the Thorns," or any other number of websites and books to learn different aspects and even techniques to use, but remember one thing... There are no rules, except those you make for yourself, or those created within your relationships.

[da****]

13 minutes ago, Daddy_Voodoo said:

I can tell you a hundred ways to learn and a thousand references to the Lifestyle. But what none of it will do, is actually teach you how to discover yourself. You can take hundreds of polls and help discover your likes and dislikes, your needs and wants, even your desires... But until you find someone willing to experiment and explore with you, it's all useless information.
Here's your first lesson though... Every single person alive or dead, creates their own version of what and how BDSM and or the Dominant/submissive dynamic is created (which basically means what's right for you might not be right for anyone else.) You can use books like "the Loving Dominant," or "Screw the Roses, Give Me the Thorns," or any other number of websites and books to learn different aspects and even techniques to use, but remember one thing... There are no rules, except those you make for yourself, or those created within your relationships.

So basically youre saying you can have external info and influences to guide you so much but the best way to truly learn is to be honest with yourself, explore many things you may or may not like to know for sure, and to draw your own conclusions based on your own experiences, whether or not influenced by external sources, as they can help narrow down but only do so much

[da****]

Just now, davemiller1988 said:

So basically youre saying you can have external info and influences to guide you so much but the best way to truly learn is to be honest with yourself, explore many things you may or may not like to know for sure, and to draw your own conclusions based on your own experiences, whether or not influenced by external sources, as they can help narrow down but only do so much

Question mark at end lol

[Da****]

47 minutes ago, davemiller1988 said:

So basically youre saying you can have external info and influences to guide you so much but the best way to truly learn is to be honest with yourself, explore many things you may or may not like to know for sure, and to draw your own conclusions based on your own experiences, whether or not influenced by external sources, as they can help narrow down but only do so much

Exactly. There is no such thing as a how-to book on the Lifestyle. There are also very few rules while you attempt self discovery. You're going to try and fail. Just try to learn from your mistakes.

[da****]

42 minutes ago, Daddy_Voodoo said:

Exactly. There is no such thing as a how-to book on the Lifestyle. There are also very few rules while you attempt self discovery. You're going to try and fail. Just try to learn from your mistakes.

Thank you sir for sharing your wisdom!!

[lo****]

Well, there ARE rules, but they are mostly surrounding consent and safety.

I do agree, when it comes to self discovery, trying things and then processing afterwards for a bit after you try it to evaluate your response, feelings, etc around it is the best way to go.. and don't go trying a whole lot of new stuff in one session.. that can over load you.

[Da****]

Friday at 11:17 PM, locketheart said:

Well, there ARE rules, but they are mostly surrounding consent and safety.

I do agree, when it comes to self discovery, trying things and then processing afterwards for a bit after you try it to evaluate your response, feelings, etc around it is the best way to go.. and don't go trying a whole lot of new stuff in one session.. that can over load you.

I did say there are very FEW rules, not there aren't any.
Consensual behavior
Risk Awareness
Basic First Aid skills
Communication, Communication, communication
Trust
Honesty
... These are all things that need to happen prior to trying anything. And I completely agree that trying a whole lot of different things in one go is not only dangerous, but can confuse your own responses and determinations.
... What I was trying to say though, is the fact that books, blogs, etc are written by people who are telling their version of what, why, and how the Lifestyle means to them. There is no "guide" that encompasses everyone's personal choices or desires, therefore you should only use that knowledge as a guideline and discover for yourself what and how your Lifestyle evolves.