Fi**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 I want to ask, no, rather, I want want to know what the actual real reason behind whatever is happening, sexually or not(but let’s not deviate from the kinks side too much either), what are some of your reasons for doing something specifically or wanting something done to yourself in a particular way, in that moment, what’s your reason? Your objective? Your intention? What is going through your mind that drives and craves you satiate that desire? Please don’t be shy, or worse unoriginal by going to the default response of “I just want my partner to have fun or so they can feel appreciated “ BS, I have this innate curiosity to know individually what makes the kinks kinkier. It’s what makes you more unlike the rest of the crowd
DemonCandy Posted April 19 Posted April 19 I will likely post a comment with more details later but in my sleepy head following idea came: I think what separates people that truly into bdsm from the crowd is that desire to enjoy unique sensations and dynamics that, as people progress into bdsm lifestyle over time, get more and more linked to sexuality and that 'turn-on' sensation. Often it is, conscious or subconscious, a way to process and release negative emotions from the past, often emotional trauma of some kind, through sexual tension and its release (not all kinks/dynamics will be connected to past emotions but often the one or more kinks (often the ones a person feels the most strongly drawn to, and/or the one their curiosity starts with) that are connected to past emotions is what would make a person strongly drawn and attached to bdsm activities/lifestyle (mind that kink is not fetish, and fetish is a different topic and psychological process)).
GL**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 I think as I have evolved in this, I have definitely jumped into a wonderful rabbit hole. Now, I know I’m definitely addicted to how a woman glows when everything I’ve put together comes out just the way they envisioned it or better. Most reading this will initially think that I’m talking about what goes on in the bedroom. For me, it starts from the very beginning of talk to someone. Paying attention to what they have to say and really listening to them. remembering every little detail. Really diving deep and getting to know that person. always making them laugh and smile. Showing genuine interest in their life and how they feel about things. Me being *** enough to open up to them about who I am and what I’ve been through. Really let them know who I am as a man. Getting that person the glow I’m looking for has to start outside of the bedroom. Then when you meet them, really being who you say you are helps. It’s one thing to be able to tell somebody what you’re about. It’s another thing to show up and do that. How I treat them in public. How I treat other people in public and how they perceive me helps. It all starts with her mind. If you can get into her mind the body will follow. Once I have her mind.fascinated and intrigued, The things I do in the bedroom mean more and she can feel more. I don’t wanna have somebody who’s going through the motions because they’re doing something I want them to do. I can tell the difference. I want someone to really crave and enjoy their role with me because they genuinely in their soul feel it! The stuff in the bedroom is easy to learn. Especially with the Internet nowadays some of these young women are more knowledgeable about things than women my own age. the knowledge is out there if you wanna go and find it. It’s the little things outside of the bedroom that can’t be taught. If I was to say what sets me apart from others is my attention to all the tiniest of details about every aspect of the connection. My effort and constant willingness to learn and keep growing and evolving. My ability to be adaptable to my persons interests. I am also still friends with the majority of the women I have been in this lifestyle with. The woman I have been with genuinely know I care about them without question. The glow I’m looking for takes more time, thought, energy and effort than some men make in a lifetime. That’s what separates me from others.
GL**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 So many people want the friends with benefits thing, but don’t really focus on the friend part of it. Turns out being a what was that guys name again with benefits lol. No woman I’ve been with forget my name. The stuff in the bedroom is just the cherry on top of a humongous sundae of connection that we created together. When the Sunday is complete, that’s when the real glow happens.
DemonCandy Posted April 19 Posted April 19 4 hours ago, GLOWfiend said: I think as I have evolved in this, I have definitely jumped into a wonderful rabbit hole. Now, I know I’m definitely addicted to how a woman glows when everything I’ve put together comes out just the way they envisioned it or better. Most reading this will initially think that I’m talking about what goes on in the bedroom. For me, it starts from the very beginning of talk to someone. Paying attention to what they have to say and really listening to them. remembering every little detail. Really diving deep and getting to know that person. always making them laugh and smile. Showing genuine interest in their life and how they feel about things. Me being *** enough to open up to them about who I am and what I’ve been through. Really let them know who I am as a man. Getting that person the glow I’m looking for has to start outside of the bedroom. Then when you meet them, really being who you say you are helps. It’s one thing to be able to tell somebody what you’re about. It’s another thing to show up and do that. How I treat them in public. How I treat other people in public and how they perceive me helps. It all starts with her mind. If you can get into her mind the body will follow. Once I have her mind.fascinated and intrigued, The things I do in the bedroom mean more and she can feel more. I don’t wanna have somebody who’s going through the motions because they’re doing something I want them to do. I can tell the difference. I want someone to really crave and enjoy their role with me because they genuinely in their soul feel it! The stuff in the bedroom is easy to learn. Especially with the Internet nowadays some of these young women are more knowledgeable about things than women my own age. the knowledge is out there if you wanna go and find it. It’s the little things outside of the bedroom that can’t be taught. If I was to say what sets me apart from others is my attention to all the tiniest of details about every aspect of the connection. My effort and constant willingness to learn and keep growing and evolving. My ability to be adaptable to my persons interests. I am also still friends with the majority of the women I have been in this lifestyle with. The woman I have been with genuinely know I care about them without question. The glow I’m looking for takes more time, thought, energy and effort than some men make in a lifetime. That’s what separates me from others. I would love to have someone like you in my life for a romantic partner and also as a friend because this is exactly what I need and love. Someone who understands those tiny details. Nothing can match the emotion and freedom a person can feel when he/she starts feeling unrestricted and doesn't fee the need to hide behind filters. To me, attraction and love come after this mental connection, naked minds before naked bodies.
Th**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 (edited) 10 hours ago, FieryAries_420 said: , I want want to know what the actual real reason behind whatever is happening, sexually or not(but let’s not deviate from the kinks side too much either), Bdsm isn't inherently sexual there is so much more to it than sex. Bdsm isnt something to be added to sex, it's the other way around, sex is something added to bdsm. Most of the lifestyle kinksters I know and am friends with would probably argue that most of the best parts even aren't based in sex. Loads of asexual people are heavily involved in the bdsm lifestyle. 43 minutes ago, DemonCandy said: naked minds before naked bodies. So much this. People > kinks is where the magic happens. Edited April 19 by ThaliaV
GL**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 1 hour ago, DemonCandy said: I would love to have someone like you in my life for a romantic partner and also as a friend because this is exactly what I need and love. Someone who understands those tiny details. Nothing can match the emotion and freedom a person can feel when he/she starts feeling unrestricted and doesn't fee the need to hide behind filters. To me, attraction and love come after this mental connection, naked minds before naked bodies. You will find your person. Sometimes you have to talk to hundreds before you find the one. Not all of us require such connection. There’s nothing wrong with people that don’t. to each their own. It’s like playing a video game once you reach a certain level, you don’t want o go backwards.
DemonCandy Posted April 19 Posted April 19 56 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: So much this. People > kinks is where the magic happens. I am aware of this and I never implied that bdsm is mainly about the sex. Sexual tension itself isn't limited to just sex. If you notice the beginning part, I mentioned that it is about the desire to experience unique sensations and dynamics that themselves would be a way of releasing/expressing emotions (regardless of them being connected to something deeper from the past or not). And sometimes it is just about wanting to be deviant. Nonetheless, you have to understand that I was writing this at 4am, very exhausted, so I apologize if I unintentionally implied something false or something I actually don't agree with.
Th**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 (edited) 2 hours ago, DemonCandy said: I am aware of this and I never implied that bdsm is mainly about the sex. Sexual tension itself isn't limited to just sex. If you notice the beginning part, I mentioned that it is about the desire to experience unique sensations and dynamics that themselves would be a way of releasing/expressing emotions (regardless of them being connected to something deeper from the past or not). And sometimes it is just about wanting to be deviant. Nonetheless, you have to understand that I was writing this at 4am, very exhausted, so I apologize if I unintentionally implied something false or something I actually don't agree with. I was agreeing with you. The first part of my comment wasn't directed at you, that's why it was underneath a quote from the OP. Which is who it was directed at Edited April 19 by ThaliaV
DemonCandy Posted April 19 Posted April 19 20 minutes ago, ThaliaV said: I was agreeing with you. The first part of my comment wasn't directed at you, that's why it was underneath a quote from the OP. Which is who it was directed at Ohk, sorry for the misunderstanding 😅. I actually don't know how to reply on this site without quoting (I am using mobile app) so I assumed you were telling me, sorry again. Can you tell me how to reply to someone on forum topics like this without quoting?
Th**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 You can also @ them @DemonCandy I'm most familiar with the mobile browser version of the site though
DemonCandy Posted April 19 Posted April 19 Maybe the app just is just bad I guess. For example, you have to watch ads to view someone's last login and stuff while on browser, I was able to see it without problem and had few other things that are missing in the app.
Th**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 2 minutes ago, DemonCandy said: Maybe the app just is just bad I guess. For example, you have to watch ads to view someone's last login and stuff while on browser, I was able to see it without problem and had few other things that are missing in the app. I'm going to dm since we're getting off topic from the op
Re**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 My intense urge to have my mouth stuffed with a nice hard cock ready to explode on my tongue! I am a nymph/slave that needs cock and to be fucked everyday! That’s what I need to survive! I am unlike everyone, and I am proud to be the slut/slave that I am!
Mr**** Posted April 19 Posted April 19 I don't know. Well, I do but I don't have the words. It transcends any language I know. It's an order of magnitude beyond sexuality or even lust. When I can be one driving and controlling her pleasure and ***, it's a magnificent rush. The more removed from her true self she is, the more degraded compared to her in RL, the greater the excitement. For me, to know that the person I have before me is an intelligent, competent, confident woman who voluntarily reduced herself to the most base objectified hedonistic levels of depravity and anguish imaginable then return, and I can be there alongside her for the journey: nothing else compares.
Deleted Member Posted April 20 Posted April 20 5 hours ago, MrSyd1024 said: I don't know. Well, I do but I don't have the words. It transcends any language I know. It's an order of magnitude beyond sexuality or even lust. When I can be one driving and controlling her pleasure and ***, it's a magnificent rush. The more removed from her true self she is, the more degraded compared to her in RL, the greater the excitement. For me, to know that the person I have before me is an intelligent, competent, confident woman who voluntarily reduced herself to the most base objectified hedonistic levels of depravity and anguish imaginable then return, and I can be there alongside her for the journey: nothing else compares. As the woman i relate to this to know that i am an intelligent competent and confident woman but love to just be objectified and debased as much as possible huge turn on. To have a man/woman exude that power over me that i willingly comply with no hesitation makes them even more attractive to me. In mind as well as body
DemonCandy Posted April 20 Posted April 20 5 hours ago, MrSyd1024 said: I don't know. Well, I do but I don't have the words. It transcends any language I know. It's an order of magnitude beyond sexuality or even lust. When I can be one driving and controlling her pleasure and ***, it's a magnificent rush. The more removed from her true self she is, the more degraded compared to her in RL, the greater the excitement. For me, to know that the person I have before me is an intelligent, competent, confident woman who voluntarily reduced herself to the most base objectified hedonistic levels of depravity and anguish imaginable then return, and I can be there alongside her for the journey: nothing else compares. I wish I find a dominant like you who claims and appreciates my submission and understands its separation from my normal intelligent, bold, competent side; understands that it is a side of me but also an escape from being in control all the time. This is the definition of the term alpha submissive.
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