Submissive Vs Little?

[PumpkinFlower]

Sorry for the utterly ridiculous, stupidly long post.  I'm just really very confused, and I'm trying to figure it all out. 

 

What is the difference between a Submissive and a Little??? ...... and how do you know what you are?

 

BACKGROUND: 

 Life recently has switched on me, and become immensely difficult. I am now a full-time, sole Carer for my Mother, who's deteriorated rapidly, with recently diagnosed Lewy Body Dementia, and on top of that, there are issues with my Neighbours, and the house, and everything is crashing down on me. I am seeking professional help, from my G.P. for myself now, because it's all coming to a head. Social Services, have done nothing but cause upset and distress, so I struggle alone with Mother, while still trying to seek help.  ... Bear with me... there is a point to my ramblings. 

 

So a couple of weeks ago, I had a "bit" of a meltdown, from all the pressures, and lack of sleep, due to Care work, and crashed badly.  For days I just simply ceased to function. 

 

I have a long term phone friend, who we have very powerful phone sex sessions together, who has listened to me deteriorate with the stresses, as Mother's needs come first, and my life dwindled away, including all forms of relationships, and any intimacy. 

 

It's been very tough. ... but when he called me, and found out that I hadn't eaten for 4 days, and drunk very little, he went all stern and commanding on me, and I found myself resisting marginally, but following his instructions, on the phone, to eat while we were on the phone, and drink a specified amount of water.   That first time, when I had eaten, and drunk, and showered, he lowered his voice, as I settled on my bed, and he whispered "Good Girl".... those 2 words had an instant effect.  He didn't ask any more of me, and simply was there, breathing, and stayed until I fell asleep.  I felt so cared for. 

 

He's been ringing twice to three times a day, instructing me, ever since. I have found myself pouting and resisting at times, while desperately wanting to please him, and the simply commands me again, and I know it's nuts, but I end up giving in.  He is nurturing, encouraging, instructing, supportive, and if his words effect me hormonally, he has not been engaging, as he said it would be wrong right now. 

 

Then, today, late this afternoon, I needed him, I needed that intimacy desperately, so I sexted him a very strong text, giggling and panting as I did, knowing full well what the effect on him would be.  

A few hours later, he'd got home, changed, got into bed, and phoned me.  What proceeded was an intense, but much needed 2 hours of bed sheet stripping, phone sex, with multiple orgasms, on both sides,  with him doing orgasm control (?), on me. He controlled everything, and it was just perfect. 

 

Afterwards, he stayed a while, and in between dozes, he checked I was ok, and if I liked everything we did.  Te seemed to need the reassurance...... and a short time later, round 2 started, for about 30 minutes... only when he finished, he dozed, woke up, and suddenly hung up, without a word.  It's happened before, and while I don't like it, we had been on the phone, and at it, for hours, so I tried to push the bad feelings away.

 

 

But here's the thing, I'd always considered myself a sapiosexual, demisexual, submissive, but we (phone bloke & I) rarely play totally to the Submissive thing, it's more that he takes the lead, and dominates our time, and it works for us, thus far ..... but about 8 months ago, I discovered an online audio artist who does sfw, ddlg roleplays, and I find myself grinning and feeling really good, and relaxed, about the dialogue. I catch myself pouting, and thinking smarta$$y comments back, and giggle at my stupidness at my reaction to it all.  I know it sounds weird, but... it just feels... well... right.

Now - I like the pyschology side of things, and I put my reaction down to my ***d mentally and emotionally, childhood, lack of parental nurturing, and the growing need of comfort, protection, and support in some very, unhappy, testing times. ....... but when my phone guy, has been "looking after me", in similar dialogue construction as those audios, and him praising me, or telling me not to be a brat.... and I'm getting all these big feelings and emotions going on, at that time.... at the end, I'm left utterly confused.....   and then, on here, I find out, that there is this term "little", (what's the difference between submissives and littles???), and that there are even "Caregiver/Little" scenarios, and so on.....  and I'm sitting here so utterly confused, because, I suddenly feel like I don't know who I am, or what I am, and phone guy will never be anything other than on the phone (his choice, not mine), and I'd really like to explore what I really am, for real....  but.... then again - with all that's going on, and the immense pressures I'm dealing with, in life, I just don't know if I should just stop thinking about all of it, and not seek answers, because is it really fair on anyone, when I feel in such a potentially fragile, jumble right now, and feel quite alone in my life's fight. It could just be my Brain's way of trying to seek some form of comfort, from anywhere, afterall.... but then, my Mother's Dementia could go on for years, so how long do I wait? 

Aaaarrrggghhhh!!!!  I'm so confused!!!!! 

[Deleted Member]

First of all, while it is a good trait to be selfless, most things are okay in moderation. You do still need to think of number one, from time to time. As well as doing what you want every now and then, satisfying yourself and giving yourself something to look forward to, I can tell you from experience that true curiosity will not go away. These questions will nag you until they are answered, so I fully encourage you to seek the truth. Do not wait to find out more about the things you want to learn. As for your main question. A little is a Submissive. There are Dominants and there are Submissives, but there are many sub categories, such as Daddies and littles, Caregivers and Age Players. I recommend looking into age play and DDlg (two separate things), and go from there. Again, keep asking questions. So long as you are polite, I do not see why you cannot find out everything you want to know. There are plenty of us on here who are willing to help

[Deleted Member]

DanteReign explained well about the little title. 
I might sound harsh or maybe rude, but it’s not good to play while your mind is not in the right place. While this guy make you feel happy on that moment, it’s like a sugar rush. You need to sort out the big deal first. I won’t say it’s *** or a selfish play on his part, but you need to adresses your issues with him before carry on sessions. 
kind regards  

[Deleted Member]

I'm sorry life is a struggle right now, I'm a submissive ' little' as well and also have a lot of responsibilities, it really helps me when I talk to my online 'daddy' it helps me focus my mind when he speaks to my ' little' .maybe your online Freind will be willing to experiment with a bit of little talk , perhaps not all the time as you've a lot going on . I can only speak from my own experience but since I've fully embraced my inner ' little ' I feel better like I've accepted every part of myself . Good luck on your journey and I hope life gets smoother for you xx

[freddiewoodville]

Hi
Sorry to hear of your struggles my father had the same illness
I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk