Newbie to BDSM

[Deleted Member]

So, I'm a newbie to all of this and met a woman on another site who didn't live in my town but was supposedly moving there for work in a couple of weeks and that's why she contacted me. Anyway short story she agreed to be my mistress and teacher and for a couple of days we messaged back and forth then last night she said I had to pay a one of tribute of $100 for her to get me a collar for when she arrived she could put it on me straight away.I refused to send *** or buy a gift card and now she's gone saying I don't trust her. Is this usual to make a tribute payment? And to send it by sephora giftcard just doesn't seem or feel right, was I wrong? I offered to go and get the collar with her when she arrived but not good enough.

I think I just escaped being ripped off but being new to the lifestyle I wanted to make sure, thanks in advance!

 

[ey****]

you basically escaped a scam

[Deleted Member]

Thanks, I've heard of tributes but not how they work properly but it just didn't seem right. Appreciate the reply.

[ey****]

there's assorted variations on this scam.

how this plays out is that you'll be contacted by someone who very quickly offers to play or be your Mistress.  At this point it's fairly important to do some due diligence.  A low post count, low activity, spamming or inconsistent posts is a big sign it's a scam : someone generally quite active might be less of a scam, but still ask why they contacted you.

OK, so anyway.  This will seem exciting and usually the guys that fall for this just don't do any due dilligence they get very excited especially if they find someone so soon.  The person will always have a cover story that they are moving to your area soon, have some form of work interests or whatever cover story of why they're not local but can make it work (they may even offer an online relationship via similar scam) they may even be saying they're intending on checking out an event and want someone to accompany them.

They will then either....

a) ask for an expensive gift to prove you are serious.  This will either be via a gift card or purchased from a very dubious looking site (as in, it doesn't exist, it's just a store front to the scam)

b) tell you that you need personalised items - collar, butt plug, whatever, which feels less of a scam because it's *for you* and, hey, if this falls apart you now have a collar... again, you'll be directed to a site which is a store front for the scam : the item just won't show up.  It'll also be surprisingly expensive.  

c) tell you that they will meet you for free and play, you just need to book the dungeon - and point you to a dungeon site which is full of stolen pictures for a "chain" of dungeon B+Bs (one in every major city) none of them exist and, again, you pay and the *** disappears and you turn up and find the property is just an empty flat above a chip shop or whatever.

-

this site is often a little better at weeding out and dealing with scams then many of the rivals - but knowing some of the tricks used helps you pick up quicker if it's a likely scam or if it may be someone genuinely interested.

[Deleted Member]

I really appreciate this information, thank you for taking the time to type all this out!

[ey****]

how tributes work.

Usually these are requested by those who work professionally.  As a general rule someone working professionally would never be the one to initiate contact with a client.  They're usually too busy doing, well, work.

It's common when you book a Pro that a tribute should not be a surprise and many also ask for a deposit (usually circa 50% of the full cost) as this protects them against timewasters and no-shows (if you don't turn up, as well as a lost wage they still have to pay the dungeon hire) and of course this is something that scammers have tailed onto also.  Luckily, it's extremely easy to research many pros - via their websites, clip stores, or those who can vouch for, or recommend, them.   

[Deleted Member]

Once again, thank you! I feel a lot better prepared to spot scammers now.