II'm confused

[Thronos]

Hello, the reason why i'm making this topic or even making this account is due to the fact that as you can see, I'm confused. I have always been interested in  bdsm being the sub. However, contrasting that is the fact that I tend to become enraged when I feel like I'm being advantage of or if I see other people in those situations. So i came to this forum since I hoped to get some clarity about this and I really don't wan to talk my family about this in order to figure it out.

[ey****]

I think to be simple

being a sub <> being taken advantage of

or it shouldn't

activities, play, relationship should be something of mutual benefit.  

[Deleted Member]

Submission and being taken advantage of, in my eyes, are not the same thing. Submission is exactly that, submitting to something or someone. Being taken advantage of is, by default, an unconsenting occurrence. If you are allowing yourself to be the receiver of something, you are consenting to it, therefore I would think you would not be upset or angry about it. Would anyone agree with this?

[Wo****]

Agreed.

Submission is all about consent and choice. This ties on with the thread about who is really in control within a D/s relationship.

For me, D/s (a genuine one) relationship is probably more balanced than a vanilla one because of the communication involved.

To the OP ..  I loathe *** (If it's your kink, great, each to their own) and feel that being submissive gives me all the control. 

I was ***d as a ***, one question I get is How i can allow someone control over me after that. The answer is in the question... how can I allow it? I choose to, I control it.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

I was ***d as a ***, one question I get is How i can allow someone control over me after that. The answer is in the question... how can I allow it? I choose to, I control it.

I sometimes loathe the human race, especially after hearing things like this......but it's hearing about how people grow and blossom afterwards that keeps that hope alive.

To the OP, i believe there is a line for everybody that only they can draw.....some people see "being taken advantage of" as a kink/fetish......but again THAT person has allowed that to happen, but rather than becoming "enraged" as you say you do......think it through and try to handle the situation with more finesse. Yes not everyone will respond in the same manner, but then......theres always a way to figure things out.

Sorry its not too helpful 

[Deleted Member]

There is no confusion, if  someone take advantage of you just walk out end of. Even the slightest if you don’t like it or didn’t agreed with it’s the path to more and escalated.

Edited November 10, 2019 by Deleted Member
Typo

[Deleted Member]

LPB, nicely put. I would agree that the submissive is very powerful in the relationship, since they are trusting the Dominate to protect their beat interests. The communication practices are definitely more open and free-flowing than most Vanilla relationships.