Shovelin' It

[Phoenyx]

At times, I tend to wonder if people really want to hear what I have to say.  But then, if I don't say it, they will never have the chance to decide.  I have been told, that when a man reaches my age, he is looking for only two things---a place to take a leak, and someone to listen to his stories.

I can understand some folks not wanting to believe my tales.  Honestly, if I heard my own stories, I would think they were the biggest load of bull since Baron Munchausen fired up the backhoe.  But, it all really happened.  Still, I can understand folks being incredulous.  "Well, if you know all this, and you can do all that, how come you're not Bill Gates or Elon Musk?"  Really, there is no easy answer.  Or, maybe there is.

Of course, it would be easy to blame human society.  Coming from a poor, working-class background, I was automatically two to three laps behind those born to more affluent families.  Also, as an adult, I was often accused of "not plying the game" or "not getting with the 'program'".  Yet, as I look back now, I suspect that the reason was something far different, something far more intrinsic.  To me, "Life" was always more about the journey, than the destination.  No, I'm not Yoda, trying to preach some Zen philosophy.  I'm saying that it had been my nature, ever since birth.  Mine is more of a cautionary tale, of what could happen when one actually lives their life that way.

The American philosophy of life seems so cut-and-dried.  First set a goal.  Then, jump onto the soulless Interstate, and drive all-out toward that destination---s***d limits be damned!  I, however, was more of a Sunday driver.  I preferred the back roads, the rolling hills and swaying trees, the little forgotten towns that had all but dried up and blown away, in this modern, hurry-up, get-'er-done world.  Truth be told, in life, I was probably paying more attention to the scenery, than the road.  I still headed toward my destination.  But, I was in no real hurry to get there.  Perhaps, that was why, I often arrived to find my objective closed, or out of business, or that the road had been shut down by a landslide.

Was it a mistake?  Honestly, if I had it to do over, I would likely do the very same thing.  Throughout it all, I had remained true to myself.  How many others in this modern world could say that?  Regrets?  Hardly.  Sure, I never found "success".  Sure, I have to suffer Society's harsh judgement for supposedly being "irresponsible".  Sure, I now live alone, surviving on the meager scraps that Social Security so begrudgingly allots me.  Yet, I have seen and done things that the drones of the work-a-day world can only imagine.  I have been to places and experienced moments, that others have only read about.  My journey has taken me to realms that even I had never known existed.  Those images on the all-seeing eye of television, those visions that have drawn folks to their screens in awe, I have seen in real life.  Maybe, I can be accused of being "irresponsible", of not finding the obligatory "Success".  But, I will never be accuse of not LIVING life.  Perhaps, in that light, we need to redefine our notion of "Success".

[ey****]

I think one of the good things about kinda community-based forums like this is that it's a place where even if just telling the story feels good then it's good (though, the heart reacts suggest to me people are reading) 

I know what you mean on the stories that don't sound believable.  Some of mine sound bullshit but, I know they happened.... 

[SpiritDraggon]

Oh wow...you speak from a place I recognize

[Th****]

Of course, it is the successful that get to define what success means. Which is sad as I agree with your premise.

Though I think that maybe you already fall into one of the definitions of Success, it is the words archaic usage. It has come to mean rich and powerful but it did not always.

                      SUCCESS-    the good or bad outcome of an undertaking.

 

It certainly sounds like yours has been a successful life by any sane measure. We need people with those experiences and those stories to show generations to come there is more to life than slaving away to the next load of useless rubbish and pay the bills. That there is value in that very journey we are living right now. That it is how we gain wisdom, depth, and insight.

Respect to you Phoenyx