Kinks and insecurities

[So****]

Kinks are a fundamental part of our personalities. Even if you aren't big on them, everyone has at least one. But most people I've met are very insecure about it. Some understandable, but others make me scratch my head wondering, "Why are you insecure about that? That's a common thing to be into!" Of course, I respect their desire to keep it under raps, but I still think about it. But I've also seen that a lot of people who are comfortable with their kinks tend to have stories behind them. So now I ask all of you this: What made you comfortable with your kinks? What led to you discovering what you're into and to be happy about it? What led to you breaking out of your insecurity about your kinks? I'm fascinated by peoples opinions on this and would love to see others' perspectives.

[Zhurendragon]

Part of the reason is until recently BDSM,or kinks in general were listed as a mental illness, and that good members of society shunning those into them. As for me, I've always been sewn as a bit of an outcast, so I never worried about it. I did what I enjoyed.

[An****]

Embracing who i am in all aspects. I am comfortable, confident and happy. I’m not insecure about what I desire but access to that part of me is not freely given.

[di****]

It helps find a exbdaddydom who has experience verified by senior women in community supervised by dungeonmasters in community

[Deleted Member]

The simple truth is society got more toxic towards each other because youngsters are not taught simple basics of respect and being a human being. This is why we have the "players " haters childish leading people on etc as they grew up not learning or caring there behaviour is disrespectful, hurtful and wrong.

 

There is nothing wrong with " the BDSM community " just the people abusing it as unlike in person events online we can't filter riff-raff that don't belong until we get someone or reasonable reports to get them gone. Which they just resign up and start again usually -sighs-

 

It's a matter of passing through the trash filled parts to our clear open waters where people can swim freely.

[El****]

I guess a lot of my kinks weren't packaged as kinks. Of course, like most people, I was taught that kinky stuff was sordid, vulgar, and shameful. But I never thought of my particular preferences as sordid, vulgar, or shameful, so I didn't make the connection that they were kinks. In fact, without a clearly defined list of what kinks were (since they were just too awful to mention), I couldn't tell what was supposed to be sordid, vulgar, or shameful, so I assumed kinks had to be pretty awful... Whatever they were.

So I just sort of went through life thinking kink was this dark, mysterious, awful thing, why still shamelessly enjoying leather gear, toys, pet play, B/L, bondage, etc. because they (without clearly defined social context) were fun and pretty to me. 😅 I guess I just sort of "stupided" my way into being unashamed.

[je****]

Once I realised that most 'insecurities' are just passed-down from generation to generation, I stopped caring and started owning who I am. 🫶