Is it right for mistresses to ask for tribute?

[MaleswitchTiger]

10 minutes ago, ThumperG said:

I'll respond to this one~your laws ARE different and just so you know, AS IM SURE MANY HERE IN THE US DON'T EVEN KNOW, the laws are changing. When it comes to prostitution they are prosecuting the patrons...AND it is something I'm behind in my advocacy. WHY should the predominantly women and trans community end up with these long  records in some reasoning just in order to survive. Meanwhile the predominantly male constituents walk away with nothing on their name. There's actually a TED Talk that was giving by a woman who is a former FBI agent who heads part of this movement. As it stands now some states have started publishing the names and pictures of the men who get arrested. Equality means equality does it not? Can they keep pulling women off the street or out of cars and charging them... But letting the men drive away>no. There a video called Catching Johns and you can Google it, the article is by one person and the videos by another. I'm over in NYS but this comes out of the program from Cook County over in Illinois. Amnesty International itself and us advocates who work with them ARE trying to DEcriminalize it altogether but let's call it what it is. ARE street prostitutes wearing the same skirt our outfits a few times a week yes they are, so there goes THAT little theory of costs for clothing. AS for some other expenses, I'm sure they have made friends with somebody they know who works in dental clinics and use their autoclaves for sterilization. OR...you can ask to pay a monthly fee out to a dentist or other places, for multiple usage. AS owning one of these, yeah it IS expensive. BUT once you own one, it pays for itself over and over and over again, doesn't it? THESE ARE all things you'd be paying from r whether or not you charged, just not to be nasty yk? Now... Back to the charges, that changes interstate and when it comes to the other part of this they also pushing back on the men and other women were pushing them into the lifestyle. I worked on the anti human trafficking bill the President Obama signed into law when he was in office... I received a certificate award my work towards protecting women and girls worldwide from Amnesty International for that. So Amnesty International is ALSO involved with the program I told you about, and others. I'm an INTERNATIONAL prisoner and human rights advocate for 38 years~juveniles TO Death Row. Laws are ever evolving and so is the sentencing structure. A LOT OF THAT has to do with past records... Which is exactly why we need to make it an even playing field at least and decriminalize at best. Feel free to pm because I can tell you more to answer this... I DON'T want to hear his it's not on topic because it was spoken on by you first. 😉

 

Oh I know that anyway cuz I have an American step*** who's a lawyer she normally teach me posted an updated about these things cuz she used to do the BDSM lifestyle but she doesn't do it anymore now because she's been very ill so I know certain things about laws on that so I wouldn't be surprised on that one

[ThumperG]

2 minutes ago, MaleswitchTiger said:

Oh I know that anyway cuz I have an American step*** who's a lawyer she normally teach me posted an updated about these things cuz she used to do the BDSM lifestyle but she doesn't do it anymore now because she's been very ill so I know certain things about laws on that so I wouldn't be surprised on that one

Can't PM you cuz ur settings here, would like recommending something to you 

[MaleswitchTiger]

26 minutes ago, ThumperG said:

Can't PM you cuz ur settings here, would like recommending something to you 

Send the friends request if you wish. I think of deactivated it as in what needs to be to add a friend if that makes sense

[ey****]

2 hours ago, MaleswitchTiger said:

The end of the day you had *** over to any mistress and you have sex with them. Class is prostitution by law and can spend a 10 to 15 years in prison RG

You couldn't be much further wrong if you tried.

1) Most Pro Dommes do not have sex with their subs / clients

2) You are in the UK. Selling sex is perfectly legal in the UK even if there are a lot of restrictions.

3) There are no UK laws preventing the purchase of sex in the UK

4) Laws vary wildly between other countries and territories, with a mixture of countries where it is fully legal, limited - and in many countries where it is illegal, it's often tolerated, widespread or not en***d.

5) Even the countries which criminalise buying or selling of sex, I have no idea where you get this 10-15 years from.  

 

[Ka****]

Now I am again just answering the original question. "Is it right for mistresses to as for tribute?" and my answer is that hell of course they have a right to ask tribute. I am not even interested about laws it different countries. I see that it is personal freedom and liberty. (Btw pimping and human trafficking are illegal here.) Another question may be what are good manners and how I hope people act. I have answered that already quite clearly.
Anyway I couldn't stop thinking how I wish things were. I don't like asking for tributes. I would encourage professionals to speak about price of a service or hourly rate.
I have good experiences about arrangement where I paid weekly a small tribute to amateur domme. That was sexually or mentally most satisfying relationship I ever had. In that relationship things went well because of transparency, honesty, trust etc. which worked both direction. Unfortunately things often don't go so. But for me that best experiense begun just from the one that had all warning marks, but eventually in that case they would have caused me to make false conclusions.
(In my history I had a love of my life in 100% vanilla relationship and that was unfortunately a tragedy. No idea why I tell it here.)
Very often those who ask for a tribute will ask very soon another tribute. Tributes are not professional way to work, but make me wary.
I think professional dommes with dungens or similar working places are least problematic group. If they have prices and they pay taxes and have professional ethics, then they probably fon't need to beg tributes here or in Internet. I have used their services and I see their profession have full respect from me.
Then I thought how this fetish called financial domination and tributes and being a professional link to each other - my opinion is that they are linked very loosely. Many dommes who want *** express themselves as a findomme. Submissive with a fetish for financial domination are probably rare and they are really *** for financial exploitation which is legal as it is consensual, but that fetish it is not as I know about paying tributes. There are a lot of things in a gray area. To act morally and ethically right a dom should still think first a sub's wellfare instead of own wallet - just like in all dom/ sub relationship. There are allways good and bad people and something between - and where there are *** given away then sadly the best of human are not first in a line. Financial domination as a fetish makes human so *** that I think it should almost be a mental health issue. Of course people should have right to hive their *** away.

These questions have so many different views, sides and opinions that I am getting more and more interested. I plan to write something serious about this. It is not easy to specify a subject. This subject probably has very limited amount of academic studies made. But it makes it interesting that real studied knowledge is limited, so many different people are involved in this scene and people have much prejudices often grounded on wrong knowledge. Maybe this is just too difficult. Maybe I have to bite a small piece. I don't know who would ever buy and publish my text about anything like that. (At least don't worry - I don't write in English. 😄)

[Deleted Member]

Honestly, I was a Master for 12 years becoming submissive to learn more was what I did and been sub ever since. The tribute is usually used to show your Mistress that you value her time when in a long distance relationship. It also can be used as an attempt to get their sub to trust them or to see how interested they really are in being submissive.

Here is a good thing to do when asked for tribute or contract fee. Ask them to video conference that way you will know if they are real. The phone call isn't exactly perfect because you could be speaking to a 700 pound women that is sending you pictures of a model etc. A picture with the date and something written such as Mistress of your username is real. Works great too. Even this app uses this as a way to verify but it can be faked but has to be very cleverly thought out. If you can't verify them, don't ever send them a penny.

I have sent some tributes when I felt led to reward a Mistress because she is a great teacher or is great in keeping me excited.

Contract Fee or Paperwork charge is the real life. It's the same form if they even send one takes seconds to attach to an email. Also, as an experienced member of this community, I will say that maybe at best there are 15% that practice this lifestyle outside of this app/site. Most of the 85 percent are only trying to make *** and have no idea of the amount of work a Master or Mistress will have to do to help the victims of these fake people to learn to trust again. And your tribute should never have anything saying how much to tribute. That would be entirely up to the submissive and should come out of there heart.

Please be careful out here and protect your personal information such as email address, banking information, birthday Mother maiden name social security number etc..

[do****]

* I dont mind helping with costs but they always want it upfront and i feel its all a scam , so thank you gor your advice

[ey****]

1 hour ago, doncaster186 said:

Im a sub in doncaster im looking for a loving flr possibly leading to a loving hot wife leading to a loving cuckold relationship, not really looking for a mistress but would consider one if they were close by. But everyone i soeak to wants ***. I dont mind helping with costs but they always want it upfront and i feel its all a scam , so thank you gor your advice

As a general rule. If something doesn't feel right, stop.

The scammers will always want the *** quickly.

The online ladies you pay them, they play, then you pay them again and this continues until you stop paying.
The Pro Dommes will meet for a session but would want a deposit up front as this both shows you are likely to be serious AND means their costs are covered if you no show.  And there's one Domme who once said she wouldn't ask for deposits - and then found 80+% of bookings were not showing up and/or cancelling far too late for her to sort anything else.   She started asking for deposits and the no shows dropped to around 10%. 

But, as a general rule - I'd recommend if you were looking for a pro session to search as such - not just contact folk who then pop up with a "OK, pay me" when this wasn't a route you wanted to go down.  

[ThumperG]

9 hours ago, BiSub4Goddess2Own said:

Honestly, I was a Master for 12 years becoming submissive to learn more was what I did and been sub ever since. The tribute is usually used to show your Mistress that you value her time when in a long distance relationship. It also can be used as an attempt to get their sub to trust them or to see how interested they really are in being submissive.

Here is a good thing to do when asked for tribute or contract fee. Ask them to video conference that way you will know if they are real. The phone call isn't exactly perfect because you could be speaking to a 700 pound women that is sending you pictures of a model etc. A picture with the date and something written such as Mistress of your username is real. Works great too. Even this app uses this as a way to verify but it can be faked but has to be very cleverly thought out. If you can't verify them, don't ever send them a penny.

I have sent some tributes when I felt led to reward a Mistress because she is a great teacher or is great in keeping me excited.

Contract Fee or Paperwork charge is the real life. It's the same form if they even send one takes seconds to attach to an email. Also, as an experienced member of this community, I will say that maybe at best there are 15% that practice this lifestyle outside of this app/site. Most of the 85 percent are only trying to make *** and have no idea of the amount of work a Master or Mistress will have to do to help the victims of these fake people to learn to trust again. And your tribute should never have anything saying how much to tribute. That would be entirely up to the submissive and should come out of there heart.

Please be careful out here and protect your personal information such as email address, banking information, birthday Mother maiden name social security number etc..

OR A 120 POUND Mistress when you were EXPECTING and under the impression that you were serving A 300 POUND ONE RIGHT? 

[LeggyLivia]

It is right for a Mistress to ask for tributes or payment at any time. You are paying for her time and experience. If a Mistress wanted to dominate someone for free, it would likely be her significant other or someone from her local BDSM club, not someone from the Internet who expects her to perform for free because he or she feels like it. Just like a Mistress has the right to ask for any form of payment, it is also fine for the submissive to not pay. If you do not pay, you do not get to enjoy the company of that Mistress. You can try to find another if you wish. No one inherently deserves the time of another person for free for any reason. 

[do****]

I agree in principle. Absolutely. But i would want in person, and most want online sessions.

[ey****]

2 hours ago, doncaster186 said:

I agree in principle. Absolutely. But i would want in person, and most want online sessions.

If I wanted to do a paid, in person, session - I wouldn't look on dating sites for it.   I'd go and look at one of the many sites designed for people who offer in person - whether a directory account, or something like adultwork.   anything else just seems bonkers

[Deleted Member]

Yes ma'am

[do****]

Im not that clued up on this site i just want to play

[fabss41]

if someone is on a dating site, talking to you first, then out of nowhere demands a tribute, theyre only in it for the ***, and a lot of the time they're not even the person in their profile

if they make it clear that they will charge in their profile before you even send a message then it's up to you

the people who out of nowhere demand payment shouldn't be on a dating site, and they know it, and if you report them they'll probably get blocked, theyre purely trying to get people horny to make them think they're getting something

sadly it actually works, I know a guy who used to get a couple hundred a month with nothing more than a few copy pasted messages and fake photos of a girl on a profile

[fabss41]

personally for me there's nothing less submissive than saying "give me your *** as a tribute", whether it means it or not it ALWAYS comes across to me as "I'm not independent enough and have to rely on /ask/beg you for ***", which is pretty much on the same level as grovelling for anything such as an orgasm like a sub would

when I dom someone it's the opposite, I'll be the one buying them gifts and stuff, showing them they're mine because they're now wearing my thing I bought them or whatever, and showing them I'm not begging them for ***

if I want to buy someone I like a gift to show show i like them, then thats different, that's my decision to do something that wasn't asked of me, but IMHO to ask for *** is to put yourself at the person being asked's mercy

[Tearmybuttocks]

On 10/11/2017 at 8:46 AM, Submissivef-6706 said:

I'm really not sure about this but I need to ask what your thoughts are.

Do you think mistresses should ask for tribute, do you think it's right that they do this? Or do you, like me, think is totally wrong and should not be in the BDSM community? I really need to know because I had a really big argument with a mistress, and I need people's opinion on this. I don't believe this belongs in the BDSM community!

Please let me know what you think, I don't know if I'm right or if I'm wrong.

I think it is OK but not before a meet as iv been scammed 11 times on the bounce so clearly tribute mistresses need to change the way they do this 

[Tearmybuttocks]

On 3/24/2022 at 9:47 PM, AdelaDivine said:

Whether someone requires a tribute for interaction is solely up to them and has ZERO indication on their "realness" or if they're genuine. Female domination dynamics come in all different shapes, sizes and types and just because YOU don't personally enjoy intertwining *** with your power play doesn't mean the Domme you're interacting with is not truly dominant, genuine, etc. It simply means you aren't a match. Claiming *** doesn't belong in the BDSM community is utter bullshit given that *** IS power and thus - an erotic tool used in power exchange. How would you feel if someone claimed a submissive wasn't real or genuine because they don't want to tribute? Pretty ridiculous assumption, right? Right. If you seek someone who is purely lifestyle, that's a totally valid preference to have. If someone wants to incorporate tributes or gifts into their dynamics, that's also valid. Don't yuck someone else's yum just as you wouldn't want that done to you. 

On the topic of paying people you "don't know" and are strangers, well... Duh. When seeking out a ProDomme, you should be doing your research on this person before sending them any cash. That's a given. If you're blindly sending *** to people you haven't vetted in the slightest, that's YOUR own fault. Genuine Domme's that aren't in it to scam people always have more than one way to show they are verified.

The beauty of BDSM is that it can be what WE make it. We choose the people we want to play with and the scenes we wish to experience. BDSM is not, never will be and was never intended to be ONE way. 

It's certainly not wrong but there's too many fake mistresses scamming us submissives it should be a meet 1st before tribute is handed over and if given 1st what if u don't like each other in person 

[MaleswitchTiger]

Even submissives are now even asking for ***

[MaleswitchTiger]

That's why if anyone ever asks me for *** I want a video call face to face. Want a picture of them holding up a piece of paper with today's date and time on it and ask for a picture and you can use a reverse imageer To check their face pick even can go down at a wire and get their home address or they give you an address called an address finder

[ey****]

5 hours ago, Tearmybuttocks said:

It's certainly not wrong but there's too many fake mistresses scamming us submissives it should be a meet 1st before tribute is handed over and if given 1st what if u don't like each other in person 

for the same reason you don't go to a restaurant and spend an hour talking to the chef before deciding if you want to eat a meal there

you're paying for a service 

[ThumperG]

23 hours ago, Tearmybuttocks said:

It's certainly not wrong but there's too many fake mistresses scamming us submissives it should be a meet 1st before tribute is handed over and if given 1st what if u don't like each other in person 

Understand that you're absolutely "spitting into the wind" here as the expression goes. They are very proudly PRO payment here in all ways when it comes to this site overseas. Trust me, do yourself a favor~save your breath, ***, lower your BP AND your aggravation level. 😉

[MaleswitchTiger]

And this is why I have my own walk of shame or what with six BDSM groups on Facebook where I put all the bent and corrupt people from all different BDSM sites to keep the BDSM community safe as there's too many *** scammers out there. See them bastards at *** and they're not real because of the end of the day. A real mistress only once you're submission to her and submission is given freely. You give yourself to your mistress. I've been in this lifestyle 12 years. I've had death threats thrown at me because I won't hand *** over. Think about it. Logically would you send *** or stranger you've never met before? Because technically if you had *** over to a mistress and you have sex with that mistress that's classed is prostitution by law and you can spend a minimum between 10 to 15 years in prison because I've had no end of them in the past. Off here that they will speak to you. You will get their email address. They will take you off a protective site as in this type of site and ask you to speak to you on Gmail now when they take you off this site and you go on a Gmail their own private one you have to think are they going to ask for *** and I've had no end so always think that in the back of your mind it might not be all the timer mistress once *** but just bear that in mind. Why does she wanting to take you off a prepaid site which is *** is in track 24/7 to stop scammers but they want to send you an email and swap emails and speak to them off the site. Always bear it in mind. That's the way I look at it from my point of perspective

[ThumperG]

1 hour ago, MaleswitchTiger said:

And this is why I have my own walk of shame or what with six BDSM groups on Facebook where I put all the bent and corrupt people from all different BDSM sites to keep the BDSM community safe as there's too many *** scammers out there. See them bastards at *** and they're not real because of the end of the day. A real mistress only once you're submission to her and submission is given freely. You give yourself to your mistress. I've been in this lifestyle 12 years. I've had death threats thrown at me because I won't hand *** over. Think about it. Logically would you send *** or stranger you've never met before? Because technically if you had *** over to a mistress and you have sex with that mistress that's classed is prostitution by law and you can spend a minimum between 10 to 15 years in prison because I've had no end of them in the past. Off here that they will speak to you. You will get their email address. They will take you off a protective site as in this type of site and ask you to speak to you on Gmail now when they take you off this site and you go on a Gmail their own private one you have to think are they going to ask for *** and I've had no end so always think that in the back of your mind it might not be all the timer mistress once *** but just bear that in mind. Why does she wanting to take you off a prepaid site which is *** is in track 24/7 to stop scammers but they want to send you an email and swap emails and speak to them off the site. Always bear it in mind. That's the way I look at it from my point of perspective

Ohhh believe me I hear you AND certain things have changed a lot AND my lifestyle has absolutely DEvolved into something I barely recognize anymore, that's for sure. I'm from one of the earlier generations of this that came in relatively soon after the Old Leather Guard. I am a former biker because due to my disabilities I'm no longer active. So we were the second group into this lifestyle. I've been in our lifestyle since the mid 1980's, trust me I've seen a lot of changes. AS a Mistress I haven't changed, I have my ways with what's expected. Either you get with the program and we have a meeting of the minds OR r you don't and then you leave. It's just like I'm sports~No penalty and no foul, just leave the field. But I do not engage in excusing away or rewarding bad behavior.Things CAN be soooo easy~if people would just ALLOW them to be easy. THAT is just part of my opinion with some of what I've seen over several decades. Feel free to approach if you wish to continue the discussion because they're going to say it's going a little sideways from your post originally ok? 😉💜😎

[ey****]

1 hour ago, MaleswitchTiger said:

Because technically if you had *** over to a mistress and you have sex with that mistress that's classed is prostitution by law and you can spend a minimum between 10 to 15 years in prison because I've had no end of them in the past.

Most Mistresses do not have sex with their clients

You are in the UK, full service sex work is not a crime.  Meeting someone to have sex for *** is not a crime.  There are restrictions, but they relate to soliciting (i.e. red light districts, approaching people in a bar, etc) and brothel keeping (i.e. not multiple girls in a house waiting for callers) and not the provision

Even in countries where it is a crime to pay for sex, the sentence is not 10-15 years.  I do not know where you get this information from but it is woefully inaccurate.