What's a Dom to a Sub

[Deleted Member]

As a Master I'm always wanting to know more on the subs opinions

[ge****]

My equal, who shares my views on D/s, just from the other side of the coin. Someone I trust and respect and who trusts and respects me.
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Find that and everything else falls into place neatly.

[Jo****]

I see them a someone I can trust and rely on, someone who knows me so well that knows my limits and respect them, more than just a sexual partner, is someone who really cares for me and I can care for in a different position.

[di****]

Haha sometimes a sub, especially a brat sub runs the show and is secretly "Dom"... being a master is basically wanting a slave which, yea.. slave is a sub, but there are so many subgenres of submissive that isn't slave like... I learned this from a chick who was "sub" but is only submissive if you submit to them lol I know, it's confusing until you see it and watch the science of this psychology.

[SO****]

Well said @dillybar69. The sub is always the one in control, the Dom only has the illusion of control. Everything stops when they command. I am curious about the opinions of how subs honestly view their doms

[ru****]

He is my world. He is my safe place when there is no other place to hide. The one I can tell everything to. He understands without any words spoken. Just one look at me, and he knows what I need. He is my release, ,my pleasure , my strength when I have none left. My higher power

[Mo****]

A true Dom knows that the sub actually holds all the power. Think about it, who is playing to whose needs and kink?

[HA****]

A Dom to a sub is everything in her world!! Her guardian, protector, teacher, best friend, mentor, guide, user and owner!! ❣️❣️

[ge****]

5 hours ago, SOB420 said:

Well said @dillybar69. The sub is always the one in control, the Dom only has the illusion of control. Everything stops when they command. I am curious about the opinions of how subs honestly view their doms

IMHO the control is held equally between dominant and submissive and *that* is the balance of power.
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Yes, a submissive can withdraw control from the dominant at any time, but a dominant can also hand back control at any time.
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The key though is finding someone who aligns with your own perspective regardless of whether you are dominant or submissive.

[Deleted Member]

I think in general subs are looking to give up control in some aspects of their life, and the Dominant simply embodies the pathway to which this is achieved. WHY a sub seeks this is personal and unique to each lived experience.

[Ja****]

Sorry, but imo if this is something you are asking, you are not ready to be an actual Dom. You should know that as a Dom, it is your job to know this. You have no control. You need to have a sub that you understand and can read their bodies' movements. It is your job as a dom to know you sub better than you know yourself.

[Dm****]

A Dom/me is a caretaker. The job is to take responsibility for their sub and make sure their needs both physically and mentally are met. Their job is to bring out the best of their sub not for the Dom/me but for the sub to their best self. A Domiant ensures trust is absolute and stands as a rock for their sub while pushing them through extremes to become stronger. The Dominant must also be soft and caring giving comfort in low times and stability in chaotic times. I always say a true Master must master themselves before they can truly Dominate another properly.

[Th****]

@laughlin805457 this is an incrediblely vague and broad question. Could you perhaps elaborate on what specifically it is you're curious about? 

You're very likely to get wildly varying responses with the op as it is. Especially since, for whatever reason, people here have a tendency to read a post and interpret it very subjectively and respond with something they seem to have a need to say rather than directly to the words in the op. As well as those who seem compelled to answer for those the question is directed at even though they don't themselves fall into that category. As is evidenced by several of the previous responses. 

 

[in****]

I've always included romance with my subs. Getting to know her in and out

[ru****]

This is a dom asking for subs to say what our doms mean to us. You are going to get various answers because it means different things to different people. It means different things in the different stages of the dynamic. I'm in full-blown dynamic with my dom. Yet I have had other doms. They were important to me, and I loved them all in different ways and reasons. That's the wonderful part of the lifestyle. We each make it our own.

[Th****]

Its different person to person to dom degree,there are different types of doms and subs. So theres obviously going to be slightly different dynamics in each situation. I myself happen to be a switch so ive got some insight to some degree on the subject because as a dom i tend to lean a bit more towards sadism, the good old " let me hurt you till you cum and cry at the same time then kiss my cock to thank me for it " vibe with lots of sweet and gentle aftercare wheras my submissive side tends to lean more towards the " im a filthy boy and this woman is going to take advantage of me to fuffil her filthy degrading and dirty desires and use me as her personal sex toy and source of cum" and im more degredation based than *** based when im in a submissive headspace. so what i crave from a dom is in some ways the opposite of what i offer as a dom. Theres no one way to go about it.

[ve****]

A dom is leader to a sub. A dom should always be stern , offer guidance and support and be there to correct wrong or bad behavior.

[Na****]

3 hours ago, indianapolis71948 said:

I've always included romance with my subs. Getting to know her in and out

That's the spirit man! 👍 I love having a deep bond with my dom

[Na****]

In my opinion, a dom is a partner who takes the lead, guides me, embraces the real me, and accepts me as I am, with all my faults. They care for me while creating a bond built on trust and mutual respect. The dom is like my left hand, I can't hide anything from them, and they are kinda a part of me. They both a protector and mentor, helping me embrace my tastes and explore my desires and vulnerabilities without feeling judged. It’s like a passionate dance of power with a deep mental connection (I am a romantic) that blends with tender affection during aftercare, wrapped in the warmth of shared trust and intimacy. ♥️

[CopperKnob]

7 hours ago, gemini_man said:

IMHO the control is held equally between dominant and submissive and *that* is the balance of power.
.
Yes, a submissive can withdraw control from the dominant at any time, but a dominant can also hand back control at any time.
.
The key though is finding someone who aligns with your own perspective regardless of whether you are dominant or submissive.

Fancy that, a power exchange relationship with an actual exchange of power between two or more parties rather than one person holding all the power. Who knew? 🤣😂

[CopperKnob]

7 hours ago, JandB24 said:

Sorry, but imo if this is something you are asking, you are not ready to be an actual Dom. You should know that as a Dom, it is your job to know this. You have no control. You need to have a sub that you understand and can read their bodies' movements. It is your job as a dom to know you sub better than you know yourself.

Not really, Gemini and I are both subs. While we agree on a vast amount point's when discussing D/s relationships, we're both looking for something different within a relationship.
OP asked for the opinions on subs as to what a Dom means to them. They're asking for various perspectives, I'm guessing, in order to further their knowledge. Frankly, I don't see an issue with that.
I've previously asked in the forums for Doms to share their experiences, and it makes me no less a submissive.

[fi****]

8 hours ago, JandB24 said:

Sorry, but imo if this is something you are asking, you are not ready to be an actual Dom. You should know that as a Dom, it is your job to know this. You have no control. You need to have a sub that you understand and can read their bodies' movements. It is your job as a dom to know you sub better than you know yourself.

There is absolutely no problem with someone asking for their viewpoints to see how others dynamics and views are. The best access to actually achieving and being good at what you seek to achieve I'd to ALWAYS have a learning mindset, Doms/Masters alike should ALWAYS be willing to learn. Therefore the bratty snarky remark you gave shows you don't choose to grow and learn further.

[Fu****]

I think the question the OP is asking is, "How do submissives differ from slaves?" I often wonder the same question in reverse. Other than no safewords ever, how do the dynamics differ?

An oversimplification is subs have a little *** with their relationships. And slaves have a little relationship with their ***.

[si****]

My safe space. My rock. My constant.

[Th****]

Sure are an awful lot of apparent D type responding to something directed at s types. While the op is vague it does specifically mention the opinions of *subs*. Just because someone is interested in hearing what others are looking for doesn't mean they themselves are clueless. There's a myriad of different types of both submissive as well as Dominants and they aren't all looking for the same style of dynamics. I'd argue there are even roles that don't inherently fall under either the D or s category, even though they can, an individual might simply fall into either top or bottom. Sadists and masochists are prime examples of this.