Are Long Term Relationships a Thing of The Past?

[ey****]

I don't think - in general - that long term relationships are a thing of the past (15 years with my primary partner) however - there's less pressure to either stay in a relationship that isn't working or frantically find someone with a view of settling down compared to 40-50 years ago.

 

[ns****]

Long term is good... It fulfills a lot of emotional and social needs, and does allow one to develop intimacy.
However, IMHO aiming for ltr ends up being counterproductive... My longest lasting relationships started very informally and without much strings attached, on the other hand, relationships that starred of as a formal connection aiming at long term ended up being a very frustrating experience.

[Lu****]

I feel it depends entirely on the people. When I was single I always* dated with the intent of a long term/ lifelong relationship, regardless of where I met the person. That's how I was because I knew what I wanted. *There were a few that were just flings and nothing more, and that was based on how they came onto me. E.X. putting boobs on my arm and asking what my plans were later. That one was a bad decision too. Lol

[di****]

It depends on the chemistry, dynamics, where you're emotionally or mentally at in life and knowing what you and your partner wants. They both have their pros and cons, I've enjoyed both but prefer long term if the puppy love stays and doesn't get toxic or stale.. I adore connection and companionship way more than sex that's meaningless, usually. Also, romance and kink are new school and old school but can get tricky and be like mixing water and oil sometimes.. I've seen people use romance to control people in a Stockholm syndrome way which is ugly but also seen married couples that are naughty kinky folks use romance to feed their passion and love for each other and it's beautiful. It all depends if it's worth it or not.

[Mi****]

I think a serious long term relationship and life long partner is the only fulfilling option.

[Fu****]

Most kinky people apply the same type of critical thinking about societal imposed sexual norms toward societal norms about monogamy. ** In Vanillaland, if everyone who swears they ONLY wanted monogamy REALLY wanted monogamy, cheating would be nearly nonexistent. ** Long-term relationships aren't necessarily a thing of the past. If two kinky people only want each other, nobody is stopping them. Are long-term relationships as the DEFAULT EXPECTATION a thing of the past? YES! ** By old school, do you mean when people waited until marriage to have sex? And even then, it was only missionary without sex toys? ** I equate "old school" with "antiquated." Why would people in the kink community have open relationships, short-term relationships, and casual playdate relationships if we didn't want them? ** What do you mean by "romance?" Many DD/lg dynamics are full of adoring, romantic partners. The dynamic between a Sadist and Masochist is much more likely to be casual, but there is no reason why they can't go on cute dates. ** I fell in love once with a woman who insisted on a no strings summer fling. If I caught feels she was gone. Fkur months later, we couldn't deny we were deeply in love. That lasted 8 years. ** Finding someone who wants the same relationship dynamic as you is ust like finding someone with the same kinks. ** I am a Hedonist. Most of the women are subs, wanting Doms. Why can't we revert to "old school" relationships without power dynamics? Why is being a brat tolerated, let alone sought after? ** The only "normal" should be being a respectful person (unless otherwise negotiated! 😉)

[Deleted Member]

I’d much prefer a fulfilling long term dynamic. I feel that it’s important to understand the mind of a submissive for it to really “click” and that takes time to develop.

[li****]

At this point in my life I would choose the 3 to 6 week Fleet because in all want to see who knows that three to six week perfect fling good turn into the fulfilling relationship but if not hey you going to it knowing you're just there for 3 to 6 weeks I need to leave with a smile or you leave as soon as you find out actual feelings and emotions are getting involved and then you just back out and save all the emotions and all the hurt that's just my opinion you'll have a safe night

[Deleted Member]

I didn't start this thread but wanna say getting a lot of insight on this.

[Ho****]

LTR. Whatever you're doing with someone, it gets better and more fulfilling the longer you've known each other. I'm polyamorous so it isn't a question of excluding other options but the depth that comes from knowing each other well, long-term, on the vanilla and platonic levels as well as dates, sex, play - for me that's the core. (Assuming good relationship of course! But that applies whatever someone's answer to this.)

[Deleted Member]

I'd prefer the relationship but not settling for a partner who's just meh... and in the mean time I'd prefer to explore with playpartners who I consider friends, who actually care about me even if there's no romantic attachment.
Guy's looking for flings leave ya feeling hollow in my experience 🤷‍♀️

[Do****]

Right now I would pick the fling. Just because I need my desires fulfilled right now. However ideally I would love a LTR that leads to marriage & kids.

[No****]

Your LTR should feel like a fling at times. If the fun isn't there why stay in the relationship?

[Deleted Member]

I'd absolutely prefer a long-term committed relationship. It's simply nearly impossible to find people interested in talking, courting, being romantic anymore. It's all immediate gratification for themselves, and in a relationship you can't put yourself first and I believe that's why most people don't want one anymore.

I definitely want a partner that is kinky, but I'd no contest take a vanilla ltr over a super kinky fling.

[bu****]

I would much prefer a long term relationship that is kinky. The constant search for a new partner is exhausting, especially with the regular stress of life added in.

Whether Mono or poly, having somone to plan goals and celebrate them with is at least as important as being sexually stimulated. To me

[LT****]

Long term all the way. I bet if you look at answers you'll see some kind of age gap

[Ge****]

I’m certainly hoping long term is still a thing as it’s what I’m looking for. I mean I’ve done short term and it was very enjoyable an’ all but it did feel like something was missing

[da****]

I'll just add this little nugget...
Through our society, media, and community, most of us are TAUGHT there is a happily ever after.
Yet, all of us are here because discovered we have kinks and enjoy making new connections.
Which of the two seems more natural?

[Cp****]

I want eternity with a woman who shares my passions and kinks.

[Ma****]

From our perspective, we want a long-term term relationship, something we can build and foster in a positive way also to go along with the comments of others ( ie the search for a new partner being tiring and aggravating)
I also have to say we dislike this new trend of ghosting people. It's very hurtful and childish behavior. Also, to think about the involvement of feelings and emotions to have a short-term is not what we are personal searching for.

[Deleted Member]

Long term is still real, I just think people need supplementary elements to fulfill themselves fully. I think it is unrealistic that one other human is a perfect fit for another and can fulfill all that persons needs

[Ma****]

@LTW2378 I agree. I think younger people dont grasp the concept or see the value. In people and relationships are treated as a disposable, consumable commodity

[Ki****]

I hope long term relationships aren’t a thing of the past. They definitely seem harder to find, especially here. All I ever see are guys looking for a hookup. 

[Deleted Member]

Thank you guys for participating in this thread!! I learned so much and am grateful that I got to read your perspectives. ❤️

[Bi****]

I know I hate the search part so long term