How to find bdsm partners easily

[Deleted Member]

I only have three Ds because the version of my name with only two was already taken! I’ve many times made a bit of a joke about it, and most people take that in good spirit and play along with the joke. But there are some, probably off their heads, nasty, vitriolic and abusive people, who decided to take issue with it and lead a whole herd of lemmings off the cliff by blocking me. What the fuck? I never deserved this, not in the real world. I am tolerant, accepting of other peoples views, willing to engage, enthusiastic, I am actually a really nice guy. If I am not the sort of guy that people want to meet, then I don’t know who is. Certainly, this has been borne out by my meeting up with people off this site already, after only a very short membership. I am honest, straight-talking and I know what I want and I’m clear about that. Most people respect that and value it. But I’m also extremely emotional. And it really hurts me deeply when people are nasty. Do you know, a few years ago, it would have been water off a ducks back, but now, at the age of 50, I’m more in tune with my emotions, and it really hurts. That’s why I value the encounters I’ve had so much. Encounters with people who are genuinely decent, honest, fair and certainly “on my level”.

It is truly a wonderful thing when two people, who have been previously complete strangers, can get together and have the most amazingly satisfying and rewarding encounter together, despite never really having properly known each other for very long. To be able to have an out of body experience on the first encounter with somebody? It’s truly amazing. But it seems that unfortunately, on this site, jealousy reigns supreme: I was accused of making it all up. Of fabricating the entire story. Of living my life vicariously by making up a story. Really? But there was so much detail in my account of the encounter. So much emotion. So much feeling. So much real, true, experience. You can’t make that up unless you’ve experienced it. So I feel pretty resentful at that. The member of this site that I had the most amazing encounter of my life with is a real person. She totally gets it. She has her own crosses to bear, as do we all, but she totally and really understands everything. Including me. I felt honoured and privileged to have made her acquaintance, let alone to have played with her!  And the play I did have with her was mind blowing. Life changing. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have had this experience. An experience that most people never would have a hope in hell of having in their lifetime. So when I say that we should all be nicer to each other, that’s exactly what I mean. Let’s be more tolerant, let’s be more accepting, let’s be more willing to accept that some people have a different point of view and we have to let them have their own opinion, even if we don’t agree with it. This way, life will be better for all of us.

[DanielHoup]

3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

You don't need 100 pictures (some people don't like this as they feel the person is a show-off, for example) or to go to 20 munches a month (some aren't interested in that side of things) but the better you can present yourself and what you can offer the more likely people are to be interested.   

"Good looking" just seemed to be something you were very keen to stress - and, it was coming across that because you considered yourself good looking that there should be women fawning at your feet to deliver your desires; obviously I imagine this is not how you wished to come across but especially coupled with some of your comments on "older overweight" women it was coming over that they should be grateful you exist and it came over fairly entitled.

Imagine, if you would, a scenario like this.   A woman on a dating site suddenly gets a message from a guy - he has no picture, little/no profile, nothing to really go on.  She looks at his profile and see he joined the site extremely recently.   How do you think she will react?  I imagine the likely reaction is "oh look, another bored horny guy who signs up, puts in no effort and contacts a bunch of women hoping for a bite.... ignore" 

You don't need 100 photos or a thesis - you just need something that when someone reads your message and looks at your profile they go "you know what, this guy might be interesting" 

 

2 hours ago, Fredddy said:

It all comes down to what I mentioned before: let’s be nice to each other on this site. People who live in glasshouses should not throw stones. Like it or not, those of us who are into things beyond vanilla, are in a minority. The vast majority of the world is vanilla. Do when we have others entering our world of non-vanilla, we should be nice to them. It all makes for a better, happier and more pleasant experience. Please, be nice!

This is Gold!

You will be just fine if you follow steps above.

Thank you  @eyemblacksheep & @Fredddy

[NL****]

A little late on this one perhaps but let me see if I can summarise this thread in one.

The original post caused a stir because some of the wording was contradictory or in complete honesty offensive to some members.

You have said you want to find someone to experiment and explore kinks with, that's is to be encouraged and supported. This can definitely be achieved on site without heading into the chat rooms or forums and being an 'active'  member of the site. Try creating a personal add and building up a basic profile for a start.

Kink and BDSM is a huge topic so inevitably finding the right partner for you is not an easy task however I will say that pointing out you are good looking is rather pointless when there is no evidence to show this. Of course you are welcome to remain anonymous on site and not post pictures, however in this instance perhaps not using this as the selling point is beneficial.

Finally I would ask if you don't want to be part of the community was there any wisdom in posting here as that has in effect joined you into the very community you wish to avoid.

Please take to heart the genuine advice given out by members in this thread and if you feel someone has been unfair or harsh in their responses please also consider not provoking further reactions by escalating matters further.