not a dom, but ...

[dominionhub]

I am not a dom. Not in my nature.

But, I think that I could be a damned good rigger.


I work in IT, and one skill that I have cultivated is cable management. There are guys who have worked in networking for years who I can out-cable.

Cable-management requires more than just fastening and tying cables. It also requires enough flexibility to allow for hardware to be moved slightly at a workbench.

Does anybody else have so some day-to-day skill that might have some utility here?

(Been awake for nearly 18 hours, after <5 hours of sleep.)

[Si****]

Yeah man. I support u.

[typhoon2]

There are a surprising number of transferable skills within the kink and vanilla worlds. For my part I'm not bad at logistics, so a play scene will always have water available for hydration and refreshment, chocolate for aftercare, the specific toys readily available for planned scenes, general toys in case of deviation from the plan, front door unlocked to ease nerves about being trapped or to facilitate paramedics in case of serious ***, and so on. The ability to plan seems quite remote from the passions and intensity of most play scenes but a missing toy or inadequate ambience or any one of a number of minor but notable deficiencies can make or break a good scene.

Sadly another ability that transferred across comes from my days in the police; as an event organiser, ascertaining what exactly happened when a scene goes wrong and two parties are upset with each other is a delicate but crucial situation, and I've found that only an impartial and thorough approach will stand a chance of maintaining the faith of guests.

On a more positive note, some of my kinky friends are excellent cooks and delicious nibbles really do set up a great event!

[ey****]

so being a Dominant and being a rigger - well - there's an overlap but a lot are one without the other

it may well be that cable management gives some form of transferable skills - but, well, with cable management you don't need to worry about cutting off someone's air or *** flow or causing permanent nerve damage 

[Se****]

To put things in perspective, that's the equivalent of saying: I don't like math, but I love bridges! I think I'd make a great civil engineer..."

Maybe one day champ, but not soon. That "cable management" might be good for storage, but you grossly underestimate what being a rigger is if you think that gives you any sort of edge when it comes to tying people.

Let me be clear... I'm not trying to squash your dreams. I'm just saying if you pursue this path without learning how to Dom FIRST, you will become what's known as a "fake Dom," which in this community is the lowest of the low.

You need to research. I'm not talking about 3 YouTube videos and done... I mean really do the research. Do you even fully comprehend the true weight of the responsibility that comes with that title? It's not something that can be given, it's earned.

Play safe...

[Je****]

Transferable skills that are applicable, so my game design background and raising three kids could be transferable, and likely in the future will be. Still not 100 percent on the level of commitment to the idea yet.

[sardonicus87]

You don't need to learn how to Dom to be a rigger. Being a dom or sub isn't a necessity in BDSM. There's a difference between being a dom and a top or a sub and a bottom.
.
It's absolutely possible to be into kink and not be into power exchange or D/s stuff.
.
Hell, in my experience, all of the least responsible, most reprehensible people I've seen in the scene have always been/claimed to be D/s, while all the best people were just into kink without power exchange. It's always the Doms that are abusive, never the people who are just tops within a given kink. So, anyone claiming Dom, D/s or power exchange is an automatic red flag in my book.

[Je****]

Rigging involves learning how to use rope safely . It’s a learned skill set that you can take courses on as well as a wealth of online resources are available and searchable. Do what you love but learn first

[dominionhub]

9 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

so being a Dominant and being a rigger - well - there's an overlap but a lot are one without the other

it may well be that cable management gives some form of transferable skills - but, well, with cable management you don't need to worry about cutting off someone's air or *** flow or causing permanent nerve damage 

But, there is a question of a table being moved, or the user wanting to move something slightly, or being able to move cables out of the way.

[dominionhub]

2 hours ago, SensationDom34 said:

To put things in perspective, that's the equivalent of saying: I don't like math, but I love bridges! I think I'd make a great civil engineer..."

Maybe one day champ, but not soon. That "cable management" might be good for storage, but you grossly underestimate what being a rigger is if you think that gives you any sort of edge when it comes to tying people.

Let me be clear... I'm not trying to squash your dreams. I'm just saying if you pursue this path without learning how to Dom FIRST, you will become what's known as a "fake Dom," which in this community is the lowest of the low.

You need to research. I'm not talking about 3 YouTube videos and done... I mean really do the research. Do you even fully comprehend the true weight of the responsibility that comes with that title? It's not something that can be given, it's earned.

Play safe...

I have no inclination to actually be a dom. Again, this post was made on <5 hours sleep, and after 18 hours of being awake.

At most, I would help with set up, and then go home early. Or, offer suggestions.... Because, I was just so tired when I made this post.

[dominionhub]

Again, to be clear, I was *really* tired last night, and have no interest in actually being a dom.

[Je****]

2 minutes ago, dominionhub said:

Again, to be clear, I was *really* tired last night, and have no interest in actually being a dom.

I understood that you were wanting to be a rigger not a dom.

[Th****]

4 hours ago, SensationDom34 said:

To put things in perspective, that's the equivalent of saying: I don't like math, but I love bridges! I think I'd make a great civil engineer..."

Maybe one day champ, but not soon. That "cable management" might be good for storage, but you grossly underestimate what being a rigger is if you think that gives you any sort of edge when it comes to tying people.

Let me be clear... I'm not trying to squash your dreams. I'm just saying if you pursue this path without learning how to Dom FIRST, you will become what's known as a "fake Dom," which in this community is the lowest of the low.

You need to research. I'm not talking about 3 YouTube videos and done... I mean really do the research. Do you even fully comprehend the true weight of the responsibility that comes with that title? It's not something that can be given, it's earned.

Play safe...

Nope, one doesn't need to be a Dom in order to be a rigger. They're separate things that can overlap/someone can be both a Dom and a rigger but it's not inherent. A rigger is simply a rope top. 

[ey****]

1 hour ago, dominionhub said:

But, there is a question of a table being moved, or the user wanting to move something slightly, or being able to move cables out of the way.

I'm going to go the other way here.  I am useless at cable management - but - I can tie someone safely.  Granted, not an overly exciting suspension - but I can make someone not move if I don't want them to move. Hog ties, harnesses, etc.   The things I watch for is stuff that can slip or cause friction damage

[Th****]

A rigger is a rope top, period. Someone can also be a Dom but not all tops are, and not all bottoms are submissive. 

 

There are loads of people who engage in kink and bdsm without the involvement of D/s. It seems that a very large portion of people don't quite grasp the differences. Most people I see talking about wanting to be "dominated" are actually wanting to be topped. 

[Th****]

Here's a rudimentary thing since we can't post graphics in the forums. Loads of people are also not any of the Dom, switch, sub components and that's totally OK, it doesn't mean they're any less kinky or into/proficient with bdsm. They simply engage in the bondage and sadomasochism parts and not the dominance and submission parts. 

Some people do both, depending on their partners and circumstances. I'm one of them, I'm a bottom leaning vers Dom but I can also separate out the D/s and just do all the fun sadomasochism things without the power and control things being part of it. This is how Dom couples are actually pretty common, both generally Dominant if there's D/s in play but with each other they're equals and a team but they can do any number of variations on who does what to each other. 

 

Dominant       Dominant         Dominant
      top                 vers                 bottom

   switch             switch               switch
     top                   vers                 bottom

submissive     submissive      submissive
       top                   vers                bottom

[LadyV]

1 hour ago, ThaliaV said:

Here's a rudimentary thing since we can't post graphics in the forums. Loads of people are also not any of the Dom, switch, sub components and that's totally OK, it doesn't mean they're any less kinky or into/proficient with bdsm. They simply engage in the bondage and sadomasochism parts and not the dominance and submission parts. 

Some people do both, depending on their partners and circumstances. I'm one of them, I'm a bottom leaning vers Dom but I can also separate out the D/s and just do all the fun sadomasochism things without the power and control things being part of it. This is how Dom couples are actually pretty common, both generally Dominant if there's D/s in play but with each other they're equals and a team but they can do any number of variations on who does what to each other. 

 

Dominant       Dominant         Dominant
      top                 vers                 bottom

   switch             switch               switch
     top                   vers                 bottom

submissive     submissive      submissive
       top                   vers                bottom

Exactly. 

 

I myself am a "Dominant vers."

I primarily Top but there are a few kinks I enjoy bottoming for. Like wax play. I find the sensation of hot wax incredibly relaxing. 

 

But I am always the Dominant. I run the fuck.

 

So my sub might be service Topping for me by pouring the wax, but they're still serving and following my commands like, "begin, higher, lower, left, right, more, less, done."

 

If you *recieve* oral sex we could call that "bottoming for oral." But somehow men never seem to feel that getting a blow job has placed them in the bottom position (oh right...because misogyny and porn clichés are what guide most men's concepts of what is "Dominant" and what is "submissive"). 

 

Long story short:

D/s and Top/bottom aren't the same thing. 

 

Switching for D/s and vers for T/b aren't the same thing. 

 

Rigging isn't being a Dominant. Rigging is just being a rope Top. Adding a D/s mutually agreed upon power dynamic is what transforms it into D/s. And a sub can be a service Top rigger. 

 

Men need to read more books about BDSM and stop relying on porn tropes for education.