What should i do?

[Little_Duck]

I met a man 1,5 years ago we dated a couple times, liked eachother very much, after that he wanted to stay friends, the reason: that we are to different. He keeps telling me that he isn't atrracted to me at all and don't feel chemistry at all almost each conversation that we have. But still he always tried to help me and be there. But lately he did give me hints that he liked bdsm and when i did react positive, he did some bdsm play with me only in messaging. After this couple days that he did showed interested he was again not interested anymore. after 1 or 2 weeks he said that he wasn't trying to have a sexual relationship with me. He said he need space, i asked why, he said that i am to analyzing, questioning him to much and that i am to dependant. He has an avoidant attachment style. So he need space now, he always need a lot of space.

He is a sub or brat. So in the messaging he tried to help me to be a dom. But i wasn't reacting to much and didn't tried to much because he tell me each time how not interested he is in me and know all of a sudden he was? And i don't know all of his bdsm preferences. I am quiet dominant outside the bedroom but sexual i am not dominant at all, i am a brat. I do care for him a lot and i would like to try a bdsm and/or sexual relation with him. I am also very curious about what he all like into bdsm. I like to discover with him or i can be a dom or maybe that we switch sometimes roles. He triggers me in ways that nobody else can, good and bad. I think i also do trigger him a lot.

 

But the problem is i really don't know what he wants because his actions don't align with his words...like you can read. I also didn't tell him this but i think he knows that i want that. Have somebody some good advice?

 

 

 

[iT****]

It sounds like you’re both in a tough situation. Him because he is struggling to understand what he wants and you because you like him and want to do things that will keep him around. It’s far easier said than done but the best thing would be for you both to move on to find people that align with you.
His not being attracted to you is likely not going to change, and might just be on hold because he wants to explore kink and you’re open to it. That’s not the same thing as wanting to explore YOU.
You can try to get him to communicate, but his personality is probably one that’s going to keep good communication from happening. If he can’t open up then that’s fine but also means you should move along and find someone who can

[De****]

I would say stop chasing. You deserve someone that wants you for you. He doesn’t seem to be into you, so don’t try to *** it. If someone tells you they don’t feel attracted to you or want that kind of relationship, you need to respect their feelings.

[Da****]

I would say hes behaving like ***age girl. You deserve more respect than to be put down persistently. He sounds like an insecure, controlling, selfish b#%ch

[Un****]

No means no, switch the genders and read it again.
No means no.

[Scottishdombull]

I wouldalso say stop chasing. The guy is evidently mind fucking and also being hit n cold then back again and you think what phrase are we in

[MasterDarcy1979]

It does sound like he's pushing and pulling a wee bit. So, it's not entirely your fault that your emotions and feelings are in a blender.

The best thing you can do is be friends with him and attempt to put your feelings on ice.

The universe gives us little signs and it's how we read the signs that determines whether we're happy or not.

Just because someone is your soul mate and twin flame doesn't mean you'll end up with them.

Be a friend and try to put your feelings aside. In the time being, put yourself out there.

Life is funny, for all you know, you could find your actual soul mate as you're dialing down your feelings for this guy.
 

[my****]

When people show you who they are, believe them.

[Deleted Member]

Best to just move on and stop thinking about him. He might come back, maybe not. That’s his decision.

[Li****]

Theres the issue. You are both sub's in the bed, my wife if dom outside the bedroom, were as im dom in the bedroom. Sub doesn't want to make the decisions in the bedroom, Being manhandled and lead by the dom is what drives them.
Getting the Sub feel from you is a turn off to him. He wants you to push him on the bed and jump on or push his head into your pussy and eat it.
The same when a guy makes you bend over the bed without asking you and pounding you.

[Ki****]

In this occasion I'd say take the hint you might be excited because you like the person, but if it's not reciprocated you in for a world of disappointment to say the least

[R_U_Hell_Yes]

He has literally told you, "No." And it does not sound like you have or have every had a negotiated D/s relationship would give you consent to pursue him no matter what mixed signals you may interpret. You just need to STOP!

[Un****]

16 hours ago, Like2LickEm said:

Theres the issue. You are both sub's in the bed, my wife if dom outside the bedroom, were as im dom in the bedroom. Sub doesn't want to make the decisions in the bedroom, Being manhandled and lead by the dom is what drives them.
Getting the Sub feel from you is a turn off to him. He wants you to push him on the bed and jump on or push his head into your pussy and eat it.
The same when a guy makes you bend over the bed without asking you and pounding you.

Thats a scary take. Consent is key. She does not have consent… shes got the opposite of that shes got a NO.

[Un****]

7 minutes ago, UnicornFury said:

Thats a scary take. Consent is key. She does not have consent… shes got the opposite of that shes got a NO.

And yay. I misread the original post, but cant delete comment.

[Bigoking]

From my understanding the guy's flip-flopping oh girl